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Original poster

Is it wrong to ignore screaming baby in playpen?

82 replies

weebigmamma · 18/02/2015 07:59

He's had his breakfast and now everyone else needs to get theirs. He screams in his chair, the jumperoo and the playpen. He wants to get out and crawl about in the kitchen b ut it's too dangerous. He is safe in the playpen so I have left him there screaming for 10 minutes and I'm ignoring him because engaging makes it worse. Just want someone to tell me that this is OK! Everyone has gone upstairs to eat because he's being so loud.

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ch1134 · 18/02/2015 08:06

I wouldn't.

TheLastThneed · 18/02/2015 08:09

I don't know if it's wrong or not, but I never did it...

timeforacheckup · 18/02/2015 08:09

I'd childproof the kitchen and let him out of the playpen. I certainly wouldn't leave him screaming and go to a different part of the house - 10 minutes is a long time.

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hoopyloopycow · 18/02/2015 08:10

I would other people have needs too, I would reassure baby regularly though.
Although saying that I have never used a playpen, mine were free to explore as long as I was able to keep an eye on what they were doing.

violetwellies · 18/02/2015 08:13

He'd go on my hip, or to someone else to hold, I'm not saying that I wouldn't use a playpen
I wouldn't leave him screaming.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 18/02/2015 08:13

Can't he sit on someone's lap whilst they eat? Or sit in his high chair with a bit of toast or something?

munchkinmaster · 18/02/2015 08:15

What age?

Nononon · 18/02/2015 08:16

How old is your baby? I'm guessing 8/9/10 months? He's not screaming because he's in pain - he's just wanting his own way. You have to do what you have to do to get stuff done and it's not like you're leaving a teeny newborn to cry. Don't feel bad about it at all

DarylDixonsDarlin · 18/02/2015 08:18

I wouldn't. But then some people wouldn't like my alternatives either - crayons on the highchair tray? Pingu on the ipad? Sling him on your back? It's a short phase and you just gotta get through it with minimal discomfort for all involved

Ihavealwaysbeenastorm · 18/02/2015 08:20

Highchair in kitchen and ply him with toast or fruit.

I do put a ds in his cot when I'm going to get washed and sometimes he screams. Don't think it will kill him though.

fishfingerSarnies · 18/02/2015 08:25

I would and did, sometimes stuff needs doing! I would sing and try and distract her but some times it made her worse so had to just ignore. I'm guessing not a tiny baby in which case I wouldn't but from about 7/8 months I did.

HappyAsASandboy · 18/02/2015 08:25

I wouldn't, especially not in the situation you describe, when all the baby wants to join in.

I would bring him to the table, either in his highchair or in a lap. I would also baby proof the kitchen so he can crawl about on future mornings.

Bakeoffcake · 18/02/2015 08:28

It's not a nice way for anyone to start their day, listening to a baby screaming for 10 minutes, so no I wouldn't ever put him a playpen and ignore him.

Babyproof the kitchen and let him have a crawl.

MaryWestmacott · 18/02/2015 08:29

I'm in the 'babyproof and let them crawl about' camp too. But then I never got round to buying a playpen. Just shut doors to keep LOs into rooms that where safe.

PippiLicious · 18/02/2015 08:30

Why can't you all eat together?

Much more fun for your baby and a good habit to get into.

SomethingAboutNothing · 18/02/2015 08:32

It's not ideal but needs must if you are in a rush - wouldn't recommend doing it every day.

I assume he isn't still in there now while you are on mumsnet?

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 18/02/2015 08:35

Not as a daily thing, no. I would try and assist my routine so someone can hold him.

But sometimes it doesn't work out like that, and you just have to get on. If distracting with fruit/tv/anything isn't working then yes, you don't have much choice.

Sympathies, the baby bit is hard. Just think, in a couple of years he'll be scoffing rice krispies with everyone else and all this will be a distant memory.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 18/02/2015 08:49

I avoid two sittings for meals because it makes so much more work. So this morning I put a big pan of porridge on and we all (me, dh, 4yo and 10mo) ate together. I think that's a lot less hassle. But sometimes I have to put the baby in the bumbo in the bathroom whilst I shower and he might cry then. I think you fi d waysaround it where possible but sometimes they cry whilst you do something necessary as quickly as you can. It does sound a bit harsh that everyone has disappeared upstairs to eat in peace leaving OP with a screaming baby though because he's too loud for them! Why aren't they helping?

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 18/02/2015 08:52

Maybe you could eat in the lounge while he plays in there?

pinkpeoniesplease · 18/02/2015 09:02

It's wrong. Very wrong. But you know that or you wouldn't be posting on here.

Waffles80 · 18/02/2015 09:23

"Very wrong"? Ffs. No, it's not very wrong. "Very" wrong would be leaving LO screaming for an hour while you watch TV.

If it's the only way to get breakfast for other DC then so be it. It's only ten minutes and sounds like a protest cry.

If there's a way round it - sling, baby proofing, high chair, sitting on someone's knee - then try that.

for you OP; ignore those who can't see sometimes there just aren't other options.

Rinkydinkypink · 18/02/2015 09:31

Why can't he sit in the high hair or at the table and play or join in?

Sometimes you have to leave them to cry. I have put my dc in the playpen while I'm rushing about getting ready for work but only for 5 mins.

I tend to baby proof a space and let them go. You can't pen them in forever and the older they get the more they need to explore.

Id also get the rest of the family downstairs to help! Why should breakfast be up to you? Surely the other children will help entertain their younger sibling especially if its to get food faster

Highlove · 18/02/2015 09:58

It's not ideal. But you know that. But also, sometimes needs must and assuming it's just a few minutes every now and then it's really not a problem. I'm also in the camp of letting baby crawl about in the kitchen as far as possible. Could you get older DCs to play with baby on the kitchen floor while you do breakfast?

But very wrong? That's ridiculous and rather trivialises the things that really are 'very' wrong. FFS.

Patienceisapparentlyavirtue · 18/02/2015 10:05

Not very wrong, but not ideal, especially if it's only breakfast - how much of your breakfast needs to be done 2-handed? And how much needs to be done by you? Or if it's a daily thing, is there a way to babyproof more so that it's safer for him to crawl about and save you the stress and him the sadness?

NickyEds · 18/02/2015 10:48

"Very wrong" ffs. Of course it's not very wrong. OP has said that engaging, putting in high chair or jumparoo just make it worse. I suppose to an extent it just depends on how old your baby is?? At say,10 months, in the situation you've described I'd do the same (but not leave him alone). Sometimes stuff need to get done. But then I'm one of those cruel mums who puts her baby in his cot so I can shower !

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