What do you ask nursery when you pick up?

[Highlove]

Just that really. My PFB is struggling to settle into her new nursery whivh I'm finding pretty upsetting. They seem very nice and she gets lots of fuss and cuddles and - touch wood - it's getting better. I'm just wondering what questions I should ask at the end of each day, other than 'has she been ok'. What do you ask? Really is like a minute-by-minute account of her day but I know that's not reasonable.

What do you routinely ask or they tell you?

I routinely ask/get told if they have eaten well, played nicely, activities they have enjoyed, behaved nicely with each other, how they have slept and toilet training stuff.

Food, nappies and sleep cover it for me really.

'Has he had a nice day?' pretty much covers it. Usually, I've read his daily report and seen what he's eaten, slept and played, so if there's anything to talk about then I know before I collect him.

Did she sleep? How did she get on with her lunch? Has she been happy? DD is 12mo.

We get feedback on what he has eaten and drunk, nappies, sleep time and activities. They will also let us know any extra concerns or achievements as and when

Generally how are things. If he had a dirty happy, how long did he sleep

We get a sheet with her nappies, naps, what she has done and what she has eaten on it.

We get a note in their individual notebook for the day : nappies, naps, food (not whether they ate it though), and a brief description of anything they enjoyed. The worker we collect from or the nursery manager will often volunteer something eg "she had a great day" or "she was a bit cranky, her teeth seemed to be hurting her". The manager always chats to us about specific concerns but the daily pick up is brief.

I don't get any notes in his bag or anything, but they tell me if he's eaten well or not, played well, had any accidents (like trips etc.) and what he did that day sometimes. But I don't always get a chance to talk to them.
If they have any concerns they talk to you about it, if not that day, the next.

Sometimes when my son has gone into nursery a bit agitated, they say I can ring later to see if he's okay and he always is. Do they say that?

There's going to be off days. But they realise that they go to nursery and have fun, do fun things and they will still see mummy later. Sometimes they just like to make you feel guilty for going when really they're fine, ha!

I don't think you're being at all "PFB" - its normal and nice to be interested in what your DC do all day isn't it?

Just like others have said, I get a little sheet each day for my 19mth old where they've written down nappy changes (times, wet/soiled/dry), nap times, what she's eaten (for breakfast, lunch, dinner, but not snacks) and a brief list of activities. A friend at a different nursery gets similar info written into a little book. If you're not getting this type of info, could you ask them to write down something similar for you - or at least meals, dirty nappies and nap times?

I find when pick ups are busy there isn't time to have much of a chat about her day, but I still ask 'has she been ok' so they've got the opportunity to tell me anything in particular - like whether she'd cried during the day while she was still settling in, but now, usually the reason she's wearing completely different clothes from the morning or about the latest artwork/mashed up fairy cake she's 'made'.

Settling in was hard though. Drop offs were mega stressful screaming / crying episodes that started in the car park. Apparently she was always OK within 5 minutes or so of me going but now when we get there she's so busy running off to play as soon as she's got her coat off and slippers on that I have to call her back to say goodbye! At times I wondered if we'd ever get to this point, but we did ...