Been to RELATE? Please help.

[fifi26]

Although I'm not a regular poster, I've been a daily lurker for a long time. Really wish I had contributed more because I really need to ask for your help.

I'm currently studying a counselling skills course and need to research a counselling agency. I have selected relate and really hope some of you that have used the service would be willing to answer some questions for me.

Please only answer the questions you feel comfortable with. All responses would be most gratefully received and I will update you on the assignment once completed

Thank-you

How long did you wait for an appointment?

Did you require evening/weekend sessions?

How much were you charged/did you donate?

Did you think this was a fair price?

Did you use any relate services other than general relationship counselling (e.g. counselling by phone/email, attended a workshop, sex therapy, family counselling)?

Did you go alone or with your partner?

Did you use any of the relate books?

How many sessions did you have?

Did you look into any alternative therapy/ counselling?

Has there been other times during your relationship when you have used relate?

Did it save your relationship?

Would you recommend their services?

Did you see the same counselor for all your sessions?

Any further comments that I haven?t covered

Hi,

waited a few weeks for an initial appointment but then had to wait ages for the real thing so gave up and went elsewhere.

We would have donated an amount rather than paid the full cost which I think is excellent.

Went with husband for the intro.

MOst people I know don't like it because they don't assume the marriage will continue but help you go whichever way you are going to rather than get you back together. But I like that because I didn't go to counselling to mend my marriage but to see if I actually wanted to.

We did buy 2 books but I didn't read them.

Sorry can't be more helpful but my major gripe is that by the time you get to see them it's too late! (We're no longer together)

Have used Relate twice - 20 years ago (first marriage) and 4 years ago (second marriage)

Didn't have to wait long (no more than a couple of weeks) as I was able to be flexible and take up to appointments (cancellations etc) at short notice.

Didn't require evening/weekend appointments but was offered them on second occasion

Can't remember rate on first occasion, £40/session on second.

Yes, perfectly reasonable price and equivalent to comparable counselling

Second occasion involved assessment/referral to specialist service

First time went alone, second time with DP

Have read a couple of Relate books

First time - 8 sessions of one to one
Second time - 3 sessions each alone (assessment) plus 2 sessions together - was recommended to have more but decided not to continue as it wasn't getting us any closer to what we wanted

Yes, looked at and subsequently used alternatives

First time saving the relationship was not on the agenda - I went for me. Second time was more of an improvement

Not sure whether I'd recommend Relate - depends on to whom and the context, and what the person wants. I was disappointed second time as the approach was very traditional and the counsellor inflexible, and there are other approaches to counselling that I consider much more effective.

First time I saw same counsellor throughout. Second time the assessment sessions were done by one person and the joint sessions by another (who I much preferred)

I was young and inexperienced the first time and the service was fine - I got what I needed, which was a safe place, with someone objective, where I could get my head together. Second time I was older and more experienced and felt patronised and judged.

Thank you for your responses. Can anyone else help by sparing a few minutes please?

How long did you wait for an appointment? I dont do appointments.

Did you require evening/weekend sessions? Yes

How much were you charged/did you donate? Hahahaha PMSL

Did you use any relate services other than general relationship counselling (e.g. counselling by phone/email, attended a workshop, sex therapy, family counselling)? Does Michon De Reya count?

Did you go alone or with your partner? ??????

Did you use any of the relate books? Yes, they make very good missiles

Did you look into any alternative therapy/ counselling? See Michon de Reya

Did it save your relationship? No

Would you recommend their services? No, but I could recommend a good lawyer

JustAboutManaging thank you so much for your offer to discuss such a personal experience further with me. If you could contact me on brighteyes42 @ hotmail dot co dot uk. I would really appreciate the opportunity to ask you for a bit more information

(Name changed from fifi26)

How long did you wait for an appointment?

ages- loads of mix ups and cancellations so was about 2 months!

Did you require evening/weekend sessions?

weekend - dp works full time

How much were you charged/did you donate?
£40

Did you think this was a fair price?

felt like a lot- am sure it puts people off. Might have gone early if it was cheaper-donation system is not clear.

Did you use any relate services other than general relationship counselling (e.g. counselling by phone/email, attended a workshop, sex therapy, family counselling)?

no

Did you go alone or with your partner?

with partner

Did you use any of the relate books?

yes, before we went.

How many sessions did you have?

six

Did you look into any alternative therapy/ counselling?

no, but dp may have more counselling elsewhere.

Has there been other times during your relationship when you have used relate?

no, but will again if need to.

Did it save your relationship?

yes, undoubtably.

Would you recommend their services?

yes, I often do!

Did you see the same counselor for all your sessions?

yes.

I could also answer more question if you want.

Thanks dimpledthighs, I think you have answered everything I need to know. Appreciate you taking the time to help