Two under two... It gets easier, right?

[Keepontrudging]

So... I currently have two under two. Ds is a very, VERY active 21 month old and ds is 6weeks. It is not as hard as I anticipated, but it's HARD! The lack of sleep is the culprit. I am assuming it can only get easier as DS starts to sleep better? Some friends have said otherwise which is scaring me... As once younger one is mobile you have two to run around after. I don't see how that can be harder than being up from 4am after interrupged sleep, but then what do I know really?! I'm new to all this ??

22 months between mine. First 6 months were a blur to be honest...but then the big one could entertain the little and then after 12-18 months play together. We used to have "quiet" time when we would all rest after lunch, took a while but worth preserving with. Eldest DD used to listen to story CD in room when she decided to drop her nap, but would often then drop off!! It does get better, and my way of thinking is to get all the sleepness nights out the way quickly

Mine are 4.2 and 2.10. Aside for the 2.5 hours a day the 4yo gets at nursery it's not any easier yet, just differently harder.

Everyone said they would be close, entertain each other blah de blah de blah. They all lied they do nothing but argue, hurt each other and scream.

I have 4 DC in total the older two are 14 and 10. I do sometimes think the 16 month gap would have been easier with just 2 DC.

Yes - the guilt. I feel quite shit about that as was pregnant again when DS was 16 weeks.

We are contemplating having a third mad but really worry if that would be fair in the other two

I know someone who had a 2.5 yo, and 1 yo and then triplets!
She survived. They're all grown up now.

2.5, 1 and triplets?! Dear god. I hope she had family to help!

I have a 2.3 yr old and a 10 month old. So 17month gap.

Some days it's easier than it used to be, others it's harder. I have no help whatsoever, no family/no local friends (new to area). I would imagine even just with the help of one family member once a week, it would be much much easier!

Get dressed first in the morning, even if that means leaving one or both of them to cry. Have bags ready to go out. Recognise that going anywhere takes an hour to get out of the house.

hardest things i've found is the small windows of opportunity to get out! Baby sleeps til 10, then needs a bottle at 11, and toddler needs dinner at 12.30. Getting out somewhere and needing to feed a baby whilst you've got a toddler that can't just supervise themselves is hard.

Also, we're out of nappies for the oldest, but accidents still happen, so that's brought its own challenges.

The guilt. Omg. The guilt. I think my youngest will grow up and his first words will be IN A MINUTE!

Yup, guilt by the bucketload. We have a photo of 13 month old DS1 sitting slumped in the corner of the playpen - tear stained face where he has cried himself into sleep - the photo is entitled "the day my baby brother came home"

I was home 2 days after a c-section, also suffering from sacro illiac hip disfunction with a newborn in one arm, trying to eat something with the other and DS1 was getting overwrought as he had clearly missed me to the point where he just would not stop clinging to my leg. It was dangerous as I was a bit unstable, my hips were so painful, I was still stapled shut so I couldn't lift him as he was huge and heavy and OH had to put him in the pen to chill out. I feel so guilty everytime I look at the photo or remember - poor baby :(

Yes yes yes to the guilt! Oh god I have it everyday. I feel I never hug my younger one enough and the older one is constantly getting told in a min too. I just don't seem to have enough time. I am the sort that HAS to get out so this hinders one on one playtime with te older one, but she prefers to be out at baby group/ park / walking anyway. It's all just adjusting I guess. My older one naps for 2-3 hours a day in afternoon which is a massive MASSIVE bonus. My younger one often has other ideas though... Its a work in progress. I struggle to nap myself though which is a bugger. Thanks all for all the fabulous advice. Loved the small car one. Dd loves her cars bless her. Great idea.

Thank goodness I found this thread.

I've got a five year old, 15 month old and a nearly 3.5 month old. I feel awful on the eldest like our quality time together is so rare now. :( sometimes the baby has to cry if I'm seeing to my toddler and vice versa.

I'm so sick of going out with them both wailing and people just looking at me with faces of absolute pity!

It gets easier right?

Overall now looking back, they are 14 and 13 now, I would say that they gained more than they lost from being so close. DS1 cannot remember ever not having DS2 there, they share a lot of interests and friends. There is still an undercurrent of jealousy and DS2 does have a bit of chip on his shoulder as he clearly thinks we favour DS1 - we don't - but I have to say that DS1 has an easier personality to deal with on a day to day basis whereas DS2 although I love him to bits is far more testing (but also far more loving) than his brother.

It'll get loads easier, and loads lovelier.

You lucky thing :)

i had a 19month gap and it was tough but i don't regret it

the worst bit was when dd1 was potty training at the same time as dd2 was crawling. splash splash ewwww

they are 9 and 10 now, very different but the best of friends. lovely to have them close together.

however, the baby year with dd2 is a bit of a blur. i can't remember anything, do write down some memories, first word etc... if you don't you won't remember!!!

cbeebies bedtime hour makes that hour bearable. use it! It gets easier once you get a decent night sleep. sleep makes everything better.

19 month age gap between dd and ds. It is hard work physically. I had a very big second baby (weighed 24lb at six months) so had loads of back problems, plus pushing a double buggy around. For some reason at 6 months things got harder (think baby teething and toddker demanding more attention and tantrums was hard work). I think once my youngest got to 18 months it did seem a bit easier, then when eldest went to nursery again it got a bit easier. Now when they both run off (3.5 and nearly 2) it's hard work too as eldest isn't great with instructions! They are really close which is lovely although they do fight a lot!

Easier once they're out of nappies. I was pregnant with my 2nd when my 1st was only 7 months...cue major panic at the time. But eventually I was glad it happened that way..they develop so quickly and its nice seeing them as playmates. My DDs are 19 & 20 now, and very close which is nice.

I had 3 under 3. My top tips would be:

It gets easier once you get used to the idea that someone is going to have to wait for attention sometimes and a bit of crying (toddler, baby, you!) is inevitable.

Get into doing more than one thing at once. Feed the baby while the toddler is eating breakfast, that kind of thing (Shreddies briefly soaked in milk make good finger food, as does toast). Read the toddler a story or do a jigsaw together while feeding/holding the baby.

Bathtime: run bath, put toddler in. Undress baby and place in plastic seat in bath. Wash baby. Remove baby, dry and dress on mat next to bath. Give baby a quick feed to stop baby screaming. Get toddler out and dry/dress, all pile into your bed where you read toddler story and finish feeding baby. Ideally baby falls asleep and you put them down while you finish story and cuddles with toddler.

If you have a partner have a shower before they go to work (even if you then go straight back to bed )

Sling. And a decent double pram.

Take the baby to bed with you (safely of course) every afternoon while the toddler naps. After a while baby will get the idea that this is nap time and hey presto you get an hour or two's respite in the afternoon.

Remember that 6-10 weeks is usually the toughest bit of having any baby, whether they are your first or your tenth. It will get easier.

This will all be worth it. Small age gaps are the dogs' nuts.

I have one year between my two. It got a bit easier when they were about 2 and 3 when the nappies went. It will very much depend on the dynamic between them, if they are friends most of the time, or if they are competitive. Mine are like chalk and cheese but they really depend on each other.

It does, promise.

Also all mums I meet who've done it (ditto 3 under 5) are really chilled. I think you kind of get used to the fact that things aren't always going to be perfect so you make the best of it.

I LOVE that my 3 (5, 3 and 1) are so close in age. They like enough similar things that we can keep them entertained and they can be so incredibly sweet with each other.

When littlest was 6 weeks old and ill in hospital I was so stressed about managing all of their needs, but really they are fine. Very happy. Mostly sleep. Everyone gets time.

I hope they will have good relationships with each other when they are adults too.

tewi and anyone else - does anyone else feel that they dump their baby in the floor to ay and then feel bad?

DD (12 months) is very sweet and easy going. Often leave her with a pile of toys and then feel shit that I've not sat beside her lovingly interacting as I'm either dealing with my 25 month old or trying to have 5 minutes piece

Other things that help me massively is having a fantastic dishwasher with a sterilisation programme - so that helps with the bottles and did with all the expressing stuff. Plus I have a ckeaner for 5 hours a week - I realise I'm exceptionally lucky to have that but I get really down if the house isn't nice and clean so it's money very spent. She is fabulous and also often comes for another two hours mid week and plays with DS and tidies up a bit. That keeps me sane as my parents are super helpful but live three hours away

5 minutes peace!

I do dump the baby with toys a fair bit, but she seems perfectly happy with that!

Middle child is now in preschool and from 2.5ish much more able to entertain himself for a few minutes so I definitely get more time with baby now he is that little bit older, hang in there.

I just had to say goodby. To our cleaner (saving money) she was amazing though. Definitely worth having.

I just took down all the stairgates except the one for the kitchen - that is my 5 mins peace zone

16 months between them - both DDs. It does get easier.

When I had DD1 my boss said to me "Congratulations, the first six weeks are hell." Good Lord did that get me through some dark moments.

I now warn people a few weeks in with two under two, the first six months are tough. They really are. Your first feels so little to be saying "wait a minute" to and you remember running at every whimper to them, so feel guilty when you have to leave number two roar for a minute while you attend to number one!

DD1 slept through from 13 weeks (and I mean 7 to 7 through). I had to wake her at 7.30 this morning to persuade her it was time to go to the childminder. DD2 laughed in the face of such an idea. At six months, when DD1 was going through an unusual dodgy patch with sleep, and I was on my knees, we got advise from a super-nanny type who helped me whip DD2 into shape.

Now, they both sleep through (although DD2 is up at 6 which I could do without), they are starting to play together (although I did hear myself say "If the two of you don't stop I'm taking Teddy away altogether!" on Friday ).

The other thing is, this bit does really go fast. I don't know what happened to 2014 but I feel like I was probably more of an observer than a participant. And it flew!

Good luck!

I found DD being a newborn ok as she slept soooo much during the day once we had got the feeding sorted out - so after day 5 . So felt I still had tons of time with DS. It's now I worry that DD isn't being given enough attention now she is more alert.

Ah Horace that is a new circle of hell unhelpful

If it wouldn't out me, I'd post a picture of DD2 walking across the kitchen table on her knees. She hasn't fully mastered walking on her feet yet, but man, can that girl climb!

DD1 used to sit quietly in the middle of our bed. Never moved. Never rolled. Never stops now mind you - but holds onto the buggy nicely on the street, etc., etc.

I'm considering one of those collars that delivers a shock if dogs go beyond a certain perimeter for DD2 (joking, before anyone calls SS).