Two under two... It gets easier, right?

[Keepontrudging]

So... I currently have two under two. Ds is a very, VERY active 21 month old and ds is 6weeks. It is not as hard as I anticipated, but it's HARD! The lack of sleep is the culprit. I am assuming it can only get easier as DS starts to sleep better? Some friends have said otherwise which is scaring me... As once younger one is mobile you have two to run around after. I don't see how that can be harder than being up from 4am after interrupged sleep, but then what do I know really?! I'm new to all this ??

its great in the long run

I used a sling a lot with the baby That really helped us!

I had a cleaner once a week so I didn't really worry about housework

Though my biggest tip is kind of weird, but it works.... Get dressed before you go downstairs in the morning. Even if it's 6.30am. Somehow the days always felt easier to face in clothes rather than pjs. Plus I was then one less person to have to get ready to leave the house!

Magic I do tend to do that! I feel much better too when dressed

Livvy CBeebies is a help indeed! Though Dd is not much of a tv fan - far too hyper, haha! This thread has really perked me up ! Thanks again!

Oh ! Also I love a good sling and plan to use this more too ??

I have a 19 month gap between my two. The first year nearly killed me but now they are 3.5 and 2 years and although it is still full on I am so glad the age gap is small. They share a room and do everything together. It does not get easier as such but different. Good luck xx

Thanks ladies. Sling is going to be used more, methinks...
I know it will be beneficial in the long term which helps ! I don't think I will ever get used to just how much effort is required to simply leave the house! My word...or getting them in and out the car to nip into bloody Asda! Christ, it's like mission impossible. Everything requires such substantial effort and when your flat our exhausted it is not ideal

Keepon

You're so not wrong.

I can remember ringing dh at work to ask him to get bread and milk on the way home. He was working v long hours then to be fair, but when he said "can't you just pop out and pick some up", I totally lost it with him.

There is no 'popping out' to anywhere with a toddler and a baby.

Just laughing at the trying to get out the house with two of them - I used to hate the winter especially as there were so many more clothes to put on and the gloves, jesus christ the gloves!!

Although maybe we just stress about it too much. One day I had to take the car to work as the bus didn't turn up - DH was at home with them and said it was fine, he had toddlers but was happy to just walk. Anyway, gets to work and realise I have the buggy in the car!

I phoned him to offer to drive home again and drop it off or suggest a neighbour to see if he could borrow one only to find that he was already on his way to toddlers. He had eldest (Just over 2) strapped onto the little trike and was pushing him there using the parent handle and he'd shoved youngest (just over 1) in a back pack and was carrying him on his back!

by back pack, I mean a rucksack type thing, not a baby carrier!

I had 2 under 2 (18 month gap), they're 7 and 5 1/2 now and I can promise you that it does get better eventually. Really it does.

Actually, I hate to say this but it doesn't really get easier, the challenges just change. I have 15 months between my two, I found the baby stage hard but we could all nap together in the afternoon, now I'm running from pillar to post and the fighting is unbelievable.

Can you do synchronised napping. That saved my life. I used to go out every morning, play groups, music group, meet-ups at soft play, swimming, library, shops. I got a double buggy with cosy toes so they only needed a hat (well almost). When I got in ds1 and I had lunch whilst I fed ds2 and I put them both in their cots/Moses basket and went to bed. Ds1 often napped for 3 hours and the rest and if ds2 woke I took him into bed with me and fed him. Once they were a bit older they both went down for the afternoon in their cots.

I went back to work doing night shift when ds2 was 14 weeks (as I had done with ds1) so this sleep was essential and I refused to do anything in the afternoons that might disrupt their my routine. I do realise I was lucky to have babies that would do this but I do think many babies can be taught. Ds3 followed the same routine although I worked day shift by then and the childminder benefited.

DS1 although a brilliant sleeper at night didn't reliably nap in the afternoon after about 15 months and DS2 stopped his 2 hour naps when DS1 went to nursery :(

The only way to get them both to take a nap when they we were overtired was to go for a drive for a bit until they dropped off and then pull in and have a kip in a layby or carpark.

Agree - both of mine are asleep at the moment. It gives me 3 hours of respite. I had to exclusively express for DD too (had done the same for DS so knew what I was doing) for 7 months so it gave me time to do some of that too and have a sleep - although I'm crap at sleeping during the day. I'm the same that I dont fuck about with nap-times, however enticing the outside activity is.

It definitely gets better, I promise! I have a 19 month gap and my two are now 3 and 18 months. I found the first year really really hard and a real slog, but we turned a massive corner when number two turned 12 months, started walking, sleeping, generally calmed down and became more interesting for number one. Yes, they are still a handful and fight over toys and we have out of control days, but now it is really good fun with them both and I love watching their little relationship develop.

20 month age gap here - 2 boys. First 6 months were really tough, DS2 slept well but puked constantly although was thriving.

Then we had constant chaos & fighting as DS2 wanted to play with DS1's toys but would wreck everything & precipitate a screeching fit from DS1...

From memory things improved dramatically once DS2 turned 3, they are now 5 & 6 and very close (although DS1 is turning into a hormonal shouty 7 year old)

Ditching the pushchair/buggy board combo was a landmark moment, as was being able to leave the house without a changing bag bulging with nappies, muslins & multiple changes of clothes

We spent a lot of their baby/toddlerhood going out for walks in the woods, the screaming doesn't sound quite so loud when you're out of doors

Mine are 18 months apart and are now 20 and 19. Looking back, it was hard, particularly the first year of having two, but they soon grow to become very close and most of the time entertain one another - particularly great on holidays once they were old enough to play independently. They had similar interests, age specific toys were, in most cases, suitable for both. A few dodgy moments when they were teenagers and girls/boys were beneath contempt, but not much and now they are close.

It gets better, it does :)

The more organised you can be, the easier it is. Storage is key. Think carefully about what you need and get boxes, bookcases and shelves up.
Always have clothes ready the night before including your own. Do little jobs like buying birthday presents and cards as far before as you can. Don't go anywhere without some little cars and a packet of rice cakes :)

They will learn to play with each other and seperately and that's when it gets easier.

Nothing to add that hasn't already been said - except that we are very happy to have a relatively short age gap (17months) now but the first year was tough. DS2 is now 2years & his big brother goes to preschool x3 days a week, so life has become easier & far more harmonious since the boys have been able to play together.
No one has mentioned the guilt yet though, which I experienced in bucketloads. Not enough of me to split between two very small boys - I felt sorry that ds2 didn't have the one to one time that his brother did when he was a baby, and that ds1 had to suddenly share me at only 17 months. They both wanted only me for ages & it was hard to deny either of them.
Now however, they have each other and we are all a brilliant little team. Hang on in there op, you're doing brilliantly.

...and mittens is right - little cars in every bag/pocket!