Mind the Gap! How long did you leave between babies?

[lenny101]

I've just found out I'm expecting dc2. Hooray...... But ds1 is only 9 months old and still breast feeding. He had heart surgery at birth and for lots of reasons has been slow to take to food, but he's getting there. Considering tandem feeding though I know that's not easy.
I also use a wheelchair and am just starting to visualise managing a toddler and a newborn when i can't run after the former!

I just know we'll adapt but tell me about your age gaps. How did you manage?

Gaps of 20mths then 21mths. Became a hermit after no 3 was born as it was impossible to co-ordinate all three routines so that we could go out! My kids like playing at home and have pretty low expectations (ie trip to park is major highlight). I'm not sure big gaps make it easier - maybe it just prolongs the agony...

Congratulations on the pregnancy

22mths for me

and you'll be fine, it'll be busy busy but you'll mange and by the time no 2 is about 18mths it will calm down

Thank you NtheN. I'm really excited though I have had at least an hour a night that's sleepless and worrysome!
You went for it a third time so it really can't be that bad.... right! Good your three are homebirds.

18 months you reckon H? I was just trying to figure out when I can have my next drink!

Nice work MT - I have a 6 year old niece. Wonder if she fancies some work......?!

4 years and 8 months, I will let you know next month (if I can stay pregnant that long) if that was a good choice in age gaps or not!

11 years!

My SIL is pg and due in november, her Dd will be 17 months.

11 years sounds sensible just now. Though re SIL, we'll be in the same boat. It's not just me yey!

Good luck with everything NJ - sounds imminent.

25 months

There's 21 months between mine. It's been surprisingly easy so far (DS2 is 6 weeks, so it could all change!) Military precision is the key, I have found.

Do you have family nearby who can help?

5 years 45 weeks ! jealousy issues at first as DS had been the centre of our world . and then a small and demanding sister arrives... his nose firmly out of joint for the first 3 months !

26mths between my dss.

I'd 15mths between my first two which was difficult at first but then gets way easier. I've had third now too.

All the best

I do IGW. I've been reluctant to accept too much with ds1 (major independence issues!) but I realise I'm going to have to say yes to offers of help much more.

Did you breastfeed? Tell me about your military precision?

Lockets! A fourth! This is great, I'm beginning to think us women are invincible!

16 months between my dd's now 2 and 8 months - and much easier than I thought it would be. Though I must say the 2nd 6 months is a bit more difficult as dd2 wants more attention and therefore so does dd1!

Gave up bf dd1 after 10 weeks - still going strong with dd2!

Thinking of a 3rd - but with a bigger age gap.

Exactly 2 yrs between 1 and 2, 22 months between 2 and 3 - I had 3 under 4 for 9 weeks!

Good stuff HM Well done on the bf. Just been reading some great tandem feeding threads. Ifeel a lot more optimistic.

xx

4 years and 362 days age gap here

4 years 7 months between 1 and 2...pregnant with no 3 and will only be 12 months between 2 and 3! Anyone know of anyone with such a close age gap? Would welcome any advice!

Our first two had a 15 month gap. I fed dd1 throughout pregnancy and then tandem fed for a couple of years after ds2 was born. It really helped smoothing the transaction between 1 and 2.

I have to admit though, it's full on having such a small gap and I can't imagine coping with a toddler whilst in a wheelchair. But then I've never had to. As you're doing it every day I'm sure you'll find ways of coping.

The logistics are hard at first (eg. how do you get a baby in the car with a toddler who could run into the road.) I think the key is to meet the toddlers needs first for the first few months and the baby will have to fit into the existing family. You may feel guilty at not giving no.2 what no. 1 got in terms of attention, but there's really no need. Remember number two has a sibling which number one didn't have.

They're now 8 and nearly 7 and get on really well. Things are much easier after toddlerhood because you can pitch family trips, sotry books etc at both of them together. It's harder with bigger age gaps to meet needs.

I have four now and the gaps got bigger as time went on. (15 months, 2 years, 3 years).

Congratulations by the way.

15 month gap - and never again!

Is it really that bad??? We have a chokie in our house, how hard can it be

Spidamam cheers for advice

22 months between DD1 and DD2.
32 months between DD2 and DS1.
Will be:
27 months between DS1 and DC4.

I love small gaps. It's hard work for you but mine get on really well so I get lots of payback time when they're off playing some elaborate game together.

My only advice would be to get the bedtime routine sorted. My three are all in bed by 8pm, and that's that till I wake them just before 8 the next day. I have no idea how people survive when their LOs get up at 6am, and by 8pm I'm ragged enough to need some down time.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Thank you Spidermama, that's really helpful. I particularly like the heads up on the potential guilt. I also love the thought of them being great playmates. Claricebean, I'll be demand bf so not sure how the set bedtime will work in practise but what you say makes perfect sense.