Strategies for coping with strong-willed DD

[Faffette]

I have seen on threads before that some of you never shout at your DCs. I am in awe and wondered if you could give me some pointers. What do you do if your child repeatedly refuses to eat breakfast, get dress, get their coat on etc.. when they are getting ready for school. How do you cope with the constant refusals but still get them to school on time? (As an example). Basically, how do you do it???

I wouldn't claim to be an expert, but hopefully my reply will bump this for someone who is.

Anyway, I would:

• tell them beforehand what I expect to happen and when (eg get dressed, teeth, hair, breakfast, shoes and coat on)
• make it clear that they will go to school in their pjs and with no breakfast if necessary
• praise every tiny step forward ("fantastic, you've picked up your toothbrush!")
• refuse to engage with any conversation about how they don't want to
• ensure that teacher / school office is primed so if they are late / in pjs they can be suitably stern

Any use?

Good advice from Googley.

I found giving very direct and clear instructions worked well. For example, saying 'I want you to put your shoes on. Do it now, please.'

Make sure they are up early enough that you have time to deal with any messing about.

I confess to shouting occasionally, but it's counter-productive and just ends up with everyone feeling stressed, so I try to stay calm even if I don't feel it.

I have no problem sending them off to school without breakfast. I haven't sent them in their pyjamas, but came close once or twice.

Agree with praise when they do as they are told.