Baby wakes herself with thrashing arms, hates swaddle

[Vilette]

Hi everyone, I'd really appreciate some advice. My baby is 10 weeks old and a little sweety. However, whenever I put her in her cot to sleep her little eyes close and she drops off and 3 seconds later her arms are waving everywhere and she's awake again crying.

This seems to be a common problem as I've seen a few threads on it. However, the solution is usually to swaddle and she hates being swaddled or having her arms restrained in any way, so I have no idea what to do. I'm currently rocking her to sleep to get around this, but obviously that's not a long term solution... Does anyone have any solution? Any idea appreciated!

I used to hold DS1's hand/arms until he went in to a deeper phase of sleep.

He is now almost 12 and I am still shuddering at the memory of how fragile his sleep was .

Tbh with you the only thing that worked was a. co-sleeping and b. letting time pass.

Maybe a weighted blanket? I've heard of these but don't know much else about them!

I mostly let DD sleep on or near me at that age. Path of least resistance...

Thanks PacificDogwood/quitelikely! It's good to know others are in same situation - I try holding her hands down too, and we co-sleep which means she's ok at staying asleep, just hard to get down at naps/bedtime. Not sure the blanket would work as her hands are usually up by her head

Somuchforsubtlety and PacificDogwood - was it hard to graduate from co-sleeping to independent sleeping? I keep getting the "rod for your own back" from other people.

Ach, don't listen to the 'rod-for-own-back' brigade - total nonsense!

You need to do whatever you need to do to maximise sleep for all of you.

My best sleeper was my precious premature DS2 who slept through 8+ hours from about 16 weeks (7 weeks corrected age) - not because I did anything incredibly clever but just because he was very good at self-settling (he is now almost 11 and capable of sleeping 13-14 hrs/night given half a chance, DS1 still gets away with v little sleep). DS3 had cracked it by about 1 year, DS4 took to 2 years

What I'm trying to say is that they all get there in the end.
Go with the flow.
If whatever sleep arrangement/'routine' you've got is working for you don't change it - if it's not working look at what you can tweak.

Not all of mine liked swaddling either, but I had a little sleep-sack thing - let me see if I can find what it was. DS3 liked that.
Back in a mo.

I'd put ds down on his tummy and turn him over 15 minutes later

Pacific is referring to a grobag

Sounds like startle reflex... It will pass in a couple weeks but it is frustrating. Congratulations on your LO

Nope, not a grobad (although they are good for keeping babies warm)

I had a Woombie which seemed to help because he could move his arms around inside it but not startle and wave them around too much.

I'd also consider letting her fall asleep on her front to see if that makes a difference.

grogag sorry

grobag
I give up

Thanks PacificDogwood! I've never seen the wombie before. Thanks nottheop! Yes, putting her on her front helps, but she tends to wake up when I try to turn her. And thanks singsongmamma I hope she does grow out of it.

My now 2.8 year old was exactly like that, with a big startle reflex, but also so strong he broke out if every swaddle, whether it was in industrial-sized US muslins or a Velcro pod. We never 'solved' it, he just grew out of it. It'll pass!

There's also this which is a zipped swaddle pod but it has "wings" so the baby can put their arms up. Not tried it myself but gets good reviews.

We are in the sameish boat -try putting her on her side (you can prop her there with rolled up blankets) as that works for my LO.....they only recommend that you don't put them on their side as there is more of a risk of them turning into their front but the actual SIDS risk is not increased

ooh im so glad you posted this, my ds has always thrashed a lot in his sleep but suddenly seems to have started sleeping really lightly so it wakes him every hour (and last night every 20mins...) unless im actually holding him. Hes never liked being swaddled but that (weird looking!) love to dream thing might work if he can have his arms up. im so glad its not just us!

update! Following your suggestion minipie i got one of those swaddles with wings, and am currently feeding ds after a FIVE hour sleep! This is the longest he's slept in his life (last night he stretched from 20mins asleep to 1.5 hours and it felt like a break... ) The best £20 ive spent, even if it was a fluke and it only works once. ds hated being swaddled, we tried lots of times and he'd get annoyed and thrash his way out in 2 seconds but i guess it was just that he needed his arms up by his head. Thank you for the suggestion!

Vilette, no I had no issues going from cosleeping to cot sleeping. DD just didn't need me to be close as much after about five or six months. She comes back into our bed occasionally now at twelve months eg if she's teething but mostly she's perfectly happy on her own in her cot.

ruth so glad it helped! I have actually just gone and bought one for dc2 (who is not even here yet) as it seems to get such great reviews. here's hoping it works for you again!