What age for a sleepover?

[RoganJosh]

DH has asked me to get some opinions! What age did you first let your child go on a sleepover?

DD has been invited to a sleepover party and we are debating. She's never stayed anywhere without us.

I think it depends on the individual chikd. I work with rainbows and we offer girls the chance to do sleepovers from age 5. some cope brilliantly and others don't (smarties are great as "homesickness pills")

how old is your dd and what are your own thoughts?

Watching with interest for peoples opinions. My DS1 is 7 in April and a few of his classmates have been having sleepovers for quite a while now. He has slept over with grandparents and aunty/uncles without us but that's it. A few Beaver camps have already been and gone, I didn't send him on the first one as I thought he was too young, gave in for next one but he decided the night before he didn't what to do it!
Also he is still in a pull up at night so I am worried sleeping over with friends might result in some teasing.

My eldest has only been to one and she's 9. Fortunately for us the parents of her two bf were in agreement that they didn't want to have them too young. But I think others have been having them since about age 6/7.

The reason I've held off is that she very often can't get to sleep at night and often wakes up in the middle of the night. However, she coped ok at her friend's house. Also, we don't have relatives who can have her, I can't get her into brownies here, so she's never slept away from us.

I don't think there's any rush and really it's about assessing whether your dc will cope with it.

Mine went at 3 more than once to one of her NCT buddies and would do it again. She was fine at 4 and 5 too. It was more about where she felt at home and where I knew the parents well - no different than staying with an aunt etc. would depend very much on where

I'm talking here about staying with school friends out of choice, rather than with grandparents or cousins etc or through necessity when DH & I away.

DD1 was about 7 and a half. She was happy to stay with friends and no problems, but I had a couple of her same aged friends back on occasion which was a bit disastrous (one had to go home and another time one of her friends didn't actually go home but had a serious wobble), so I do wonder if that was a bit early

DD2 was 5 (but not far off 6). Her best friend from school lives MILES away (we both live in very rural areas opposite direction from the school. After trekking to each other's houses for a couple of playdates her mother and I decided that it would probably work to allow sleepovers and both girls were fine and v happy. I would generally think this is far too young but the girls were inseparable and both super confident and happy around each other so never batted an eyelid.

DS is now nearly 6 and has not had a sleepover. He really wants to but I'm unsure - think its too early for him. He has lots of good friends, but does't have a close close friend (in the way DD2 did), the boys all seem to tear around in the playground in packs, so we'll see.

I should think going to a 'sleepover party' as your first experience of sleeping away from home would be pretty daunting for most children.

My DS was used to being left with grandparents from quite an early age and then we had an informal arrangement with friends that our children slept at each other's houses instead of getting babysitters - DS was about 3 when he went to friends for the first time.

But a sleepover party, which will probably involve a late night, 'party type' food and drink, lots of giggling and a midnight feast is going to be very different.

I made dd wait till she was 8 to have a friend at ours. She didn't go to one elsewhere till she was nearly 9. She has decided that she doesn't like the ones where there are a lot of girls, lots of screaming and no sleep at all. But does enjoy having 1 good friend over for a pamper evening then a late (but chilled) night watching movies till they drop off and then pancake breakfast after a lie in.

ds has had a couple at our house (he's 9) but he's still not ready to go to a friends house yet. He gets very over-tired and then can't wind down which leads to night terrors. I wouldn't want someone else to have to deal with that and he would be embarrassed.

I think it depends what you think of as a 'sleepover' too.

Staying the night at a friend's house, is a very different thing from some mass party fuelled by coke and haribo and staying up until all hours.

Depends on the personality of the child

Depends on how well you know the host parents

Depends on if they've slept away from you before.

All sorts of things come in to it, rather than being just an age thing.

dd1 had her first when she 4 with her best pal from nursery (they had been v good pals from age 2). They were on play dates nearly every week and we were v friendly with her mum. They are both 7 now and have 2 sleepovers per month. They are both into the same things and love the treat of a movie in bed with "midnight" snack. Has always worked out well (we have sleepover rules which they are pretty clued into.)

she has gone to about 5 other friends for sleepovers too and returned the favour. They have been ok but she has decided that she wants a break for a while.

I think it depends on your own child, how well you know hosting parents and how you have talked over with everyone what will happen if your child decides it isn't working out.