RANT

[squizita]

My dad has lots of good ideas on getting babies to sleep. I'm never doing it right.

Because she's always waking and howling when he visits.
...stomping in with muddy boots, talking loudly before checking if she's asleep, touching her/picking her up though shes asleep...

I wouldn't mind but she's a 3 naps a day baby not a little and often- so if naptime is blown it's hell for 2-3 hr!!

And breathe.

why is he picking her up? tell him no visiting at naptimes or no peeking and less noise please. if he can't do it don't let him in.

ffs what is it with people giving us grief when we just trying to get on with it?

Tell him. Or don't let him visit during nap times. My Dad is the same but always calls first and if DD's due a nap he doesn't visit. I blocked his number once because he kept calling me during her bedtime feed! He soon got the message!

My dad would turn it into a battle of wills or desperately search for a reason why it was my (or my mum's) fault not his.
In the culture he was raised in (1) eldest = right and controls everything (2) everything is someone's fault... and back in the day that meant a physical beating, which I guess left a psychological mark. He cannot be blamed/held accountable for anything or he becomes very angry and defensive. Rightious indignation.
He deliberately treads mud into my house because I ticked him off for it once, jokingly, as if he's getting revenge on an unreasonable bully.

He's not doing it to be mean but it's like a visceral reaction after years of being genuinely fearful of anything being your fault.

He wouldn't be welcome in my house if he did those things to me, especially the mud - that's just pure spite.

despite you being very understanding of why he behaves as he does, you don't need to put up with it.

he sounds like an unreasonable bully himself. Does your mum ever challenge him?

That sounds very frustrating I don't have much helpful to say but as I saw you here squizita I thought I'd let you know wev started a post natal group following the pg after mc thread that a few of us are on now if you want to join us

Thanks Alb where is it? ??