Help with 18m DS please

[grainmum]

Hi, I'm just wondering if anyone can offer advice re my 18m DS?

At home with me (5days out of 7) he's quite clingy - he won't really play without me, to the extent that even washing up after breakfast is a challenge, (as is preparing breakfast which more often than not ends up being a one-handed activity as he protests if put down). Any tips on how to encourage him to be a bit less clingy/more independent?

The second part of this is that he remains a poor sleeper. Most nights he wakes 2-3 times. It struck me today that the 2 are connected - if he's not happy to be a bit independent during the day then how can I expect him to be content when he wakes between sleep cycles overnight? I had been thinking of embarking on some sort of sleep training once things are back to normal after the holidays, but now I'm wondering if I would be more successful if I somehow encourage his development in the daytime. Any suggestions?

Any suggestions? I was in tears this morning wondering where I'm going wrong

Just giving you a hug HUG.

My wee boy was similar at the 18 month mark (both clinginess and sleep) - made even worse by a house move/ unfamiliar surroundings/ no family support. Even when his Dad was home, he would crawl passed him screaming if I left the room to make a cup of tea.

Like everything else I would say it is a phase, and it will eventually pass. I put my son in to nursery, initially for 10 hours a week, and then on to 3 days full time, as his clinginess was wearing us both out....could you do something similar? Do you have family that could give you a break for few hours? He seemed to forget all about me as soon as he was playing with the other kids, and settled in to the nursery routine really quickly.

My wee one is 22 months now, and sometimes sleeps through, but is normally up once or twice, but settles quickly. I still co-sleep though, as that was the only way I could cope with the numerous night wakening's. I have been assured that will eventually get better too. I find getting him out in the fresh air playing in the garden makes an amazing difference, not really the weather just now I know, but that seems to make him seep much better

Hi, thanks, I may just have to wait it out! He goes to nursery 2 full days when I work. There he is quite happy without me, similarly at toddler groups he happily goes off to play, it's mainly at home it gets me down. We moved city a few months ago and I've yet to get to know anyone really well, and we have no family closer than a few hours drive.

Ah - I think the two things are connected. Since we had a sleep consultant help with my DS' sleep, he's been less clingy. Not suddenly Mr Independent or anything, but better. I think they're clingy because they're knackered.

Good point, I hadn't thought of it that way round, he is better when he sleeps better. OK, will try to work out a sleep strategy ..

I've a 16month old I find a lot of the time mine doesn't really want a hug but wants to see what I'm doing so when he reaches up I come down to his level if he losses interest in hugging me I know he was just being nosey so I either stand him on a chair or come down to his level for a while if I'm not busy.

With getting jobs done when mine is clingy I put him in the high chair near enough to me that he can 'help' and try to give him lttle jobs to do such as putting dog buscuits from the measuring cup into the dogs bowl. Letting him do little jobs is also helping with him doing things on his own as he will fetch the brush to 'sweep' or move wood around for us (we've a log burner) etc. Maybe you could try gettig him to help put washing away, take his own things to the breakfast table etc.

DS is also just getting into books and drawing with the odd 2 min sit down on his own, so maybe you could try to encourage that with yours even if it isn't much yet I figure in time it will be a good way for DS to play without me.

grainmum - no advice, just to say 16mo DD is very similar. Terrible sleeper and screams whenever I leave the room. She is fine at nursery four days a week. DH and I sat down last night to try and work out night time strategies. If anything works I'll let you know!

Fingers crossed this is the turning point then! Had a lovely morning at the sales all alone today so feeling less sorry for myself!