Those with 2 children - which stage is the hardest?

[DIYandEatCake]

I have two gorgeous dc's (dd, 3.9 and ds, 12m) who are pretty good really but I am finding this stage such hard work. Ds is having a phase of waking several times a night, he's very mobile but not quite walking, constantly climbing, trying to get into the bin, toilet etc. and is screaming in rage when thwarted. Dd can't do anything without him launching himself at whatever she has. Dd is struggling with this, but is also in a bit of an anxious phase, difficulty going to sleep, wanting playing with and cuddling all the time. They're both pretty fussy with food.
Please can someone tell me that it will get better, that when he's 2 and she's 4 it will be less relentless? (At least from September she'll be in school). Or is it actually harder when the little one's 2 and feisty?

My first was hell until she was 7. Fussy eater still is , difficult to get to sleep, so many poonarmi and the things she did, I could write a book. In fact she roars laughing now when I tell her what she done.

We did have the door slamming stage early teens but I struggle to remember it.

She is now a lovely 16 yo and we have a wonderful relationship.

Her sister was the model baby. Fed and slept. Now she is 12 and the hormones have kicked in. She is really lippy and testing. I'm hoping in 3 years time she will start to be lovely again like her sister.

My tip for coping when they are small is lock yourself in the toilet with a cup of tea.

There is no hardest stage, each one has merits and drawbacks. I have 6 dc and am currently finding the teens the most exhausting and demanding of all my parenting years so far.

9 is pretty hideous for us.

And 3 has been awful for all our DCs.

whispersofwickedness - you sat "Yep, you're in the stage which was hardest for me. Mine are 3 and 5 and getting easier every day smile".

With respect your kids are still very young.You don't really know what is in front of you.

So far, the one between 8 months before the birth of my first and age 11. DS2 arriving just kept me on my toes a little more!

(DD1 is 2 and DD2 is due next spring)

It partly depends on what kind of person you are and what you find hard, surely? Some people find it hardest to manage without sleep. Others find tantrums worse. Some people hate the "why" and backchat stages. Others find emotional or rebellious teens hardest. None are easy but which is the worst will depend on your personality I'd have thought.

Mine are 4 and 3. Eldest started reception in September and youngest is starting nursery in Jan. I'm finding this stage much harder than others as dc1 is still finding his feet in school, tired etc. Youngest copies. Two unreasonable small people with opposing views does not make a easy life! Give me back my 16 month old and newborn any day. Least then they would sit on a pram

I found the first 6 months of having my first child the hardest, but maybe for different reasons. I became a mother at 38 for the first time, before that I was a high flying career woman, I gave up my job to become a SAHM after spending a large part of my adult life childless and free. I found that transition very hard.

That first child in now 6'2" and has a big bushy beard!

Sorry OP but I found that age delightful.

Now, dc1 is 4.5 and at school, and dc2 is 21 months.

The issue is with dc1. The over tiredness is ridiculous and the behaviour is just exhausting.

I long for the days of no school. When we could have a quiet moochy day if we fancied.

I found the first 20 years the hardest. It's getting easier now she's 21 and has cleared off to university.

Yes but bigblue, her children are older than the OP's, so her comments are relevant and shouldn't be dismissed.

the first two years of having both of them were really really hard, and everything subsequently has just got better and better.

Mine are 16 and 18 and without any doubt this is true. Both boys though.

I hate to rain on your parade, but I actually found it doesn't get any easier. Yes, maybe, it get less physically demanding, but emotionally I find it much tougher.
My Dc are 10 and 7.5. Both have different interests and need to be in different places / clubs in the evenings. Both need one of me for homework, listening, talking, support, picking up, taking places, usually at the same time! There is no cot time!
I think you really need to just learn to enjoy the good in each phase and try to let the bad wash over you otherwise, you may be disillusioned in the future!

Mine are 4.5 and 2.10 and it's gotten much easier. They like each other, play cooperatively, and don't fight much. DD is independent enough that she can do a lot of stuff, leaving us free to wrangle DS and actually get some cooking or housework done occasionally. And it's very funny listening to their games : )

I would say that, individually, the hardest stage for both DS1 and DS2 was between 18m and 2 years (very active and impossible to reason with), whereas DD was a dream until age 3 and then went through a very whingy stage. Collectively, the hardest stage was probably when they were 1, 3 and 5.

It got much easier when DS2 (the youngest) reached age 3. Now they're 5, 7 and 9 and it's lovely.

Big - I was trying the reassure the OP

Of course, I may have testing times ahead, but I actively hated the baby stage... Severe sleep deprivation, shitty nappies, I was a SAHM so no break from them for the first few years, all the dependence, Ugh!! Hated it!
So I guess I'm kind of struggling to believe that, unless I end up with a particularly awful teenager or two, it could get any worse than that! And even if they are bad teenagers, at least I can console myself with the thought that I don't have to wipe their bum, get up every 30 minutes throughout the night FOR NO APPARENT REASON, breastfeed them Ah, I cannot tell you how happy I am that those days are over

18 months between my two boys and the hardest was the first 6months, complete slept deprivation. Then, it's now, aged 7 and 9. They argue, struggle to get along, can't agree on verything from what TV to watch to who is sitting on which side of the car. The eldest will be rude to his brother, and take things from him to upset him. The youngest will have melt downs because his big brother wins at ever single game of football they play. I hope they grow out of it soon!

After reading the other messages, I'm guessing that different people find different parts a challenge. I can also recognise that difference within my own marriage. I found the physical demands of babyhood and early toddlerhood very hard (which I might have mentioned in my previous post ), my husband didn't seem fazed by nappies etc. He is now finding it very testing though, with DC1's constant questioning/independence seeking/defiance, whereas I am finding that side relatively easy to deal with.

Mine are 7 and 4.4, and they are bloody lovely at the moment. Much easier than when they were tiny. I think I'm lucky that my eldest is very much a leader and my youngest much more chilled and happy to follow her lead most of the time. They certainly have their moments, but I found between dc2 being conceived (horrific pg) and hitting 2 and a bit the hardest. Once you get past the sleep deprivation everything is easier.

The stages where parent(s) have flu both children are ill and can't go to school nursery....

Hm. Wish I hadn't read this thread! Got two aged 9 months and almost 3. A girl and a boy. I am finding it such a relentless struggle and getting harder every day.

Where is the light at the end of the tunnel? I thought it was school!

I have two gorgeous dc's (dd, 3.9 and ds, 12m) who are pretty good really but I am finding this stage such hard work.

My boys are 2y8mo apart and that stage was the hardest. They are 9 and 6 now - this stage is pretty enjoyable most of the time. I hope it stays like this for ages, although I think their teens could be, um, interesting. DS2 strops like a diva when the mood takes him and he is incredibly strong - he doesn't know his own strength, which is a worry.

I have found the teen years the easiest of all.

I think the hardest time was probably when they were both under 3. I think it gets a bit easier when they get to 3.

Mine have both been ok since then. Yes there have been challenges but to me, it's so much easier now that I don't have to watch them constantly, and even better, don't have to get up with them at the weekend :)

I think people have different tolerances of each stage too. My DS (10) and DD (8) argue a lot but i'd rather have that than the toddler stage any day!!!

Sobs :( I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old. All my friends and family keep saying "it will only get easier" they are lying aren't they :(