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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

A poll DS aged nearly 9 leave at home on own for 5-20mins?

27 replies

Xena · 09/10/2006 13:22

OK DS1 is nearly 9 and off school with sickness the school run (from when I leave the house to when I'm back) in the morning takes 7 mins. 7 mins at lunchtime but upto 20 mins at the end of the day.
Who would leave him at home and who would take him?

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spook · 09/10/2006 13:23

I would definately leave him in morning and lunchtime but don't think I could for afternoon one.
Too long IMO.

Kaz33 · 09/10/2006 13:24

Leave him, at his age I was walking to school on my own. But then I am a relaxed parent.

colditz · 09/10/2006 13:25

Depends what he is like. I would probably leave him.

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DumbledoresGirl · 09/10/2006 13:27

I leave my 10 and 8 year olds for up to about 30 mins once a week to fetch dd from a club, but they are well. How ill is he? Is there absolutely no-one who could do the school run for you?

Amaretto · 09/10/2006 13:27

It depends how mature he is but at that age I have been spending all day at home on my own... with our neigbourg there to go to if there was any problem. So no I wouldn't see it as a problem.

Ladymuck · 09/10/2006 13:27

Would definitely leave him for morning and lunchtime. Afternoon - I probably would, but depends on ds's reliability and quite how ill he is. Would he remember the basics - what to do if the doorbell rings, or the smoke alarm goes off.

Sorry - probably not a helpful answer, but only you really know your ds.

Original poster

Xena · 09/10/2006 13:28

spook- I left him this morning and at lunchtime, I told him not to answer the door (even if he thought it was me as I have my keys) and not to answer the phone I said stay out of the front room and not to look out of the window if someone knock on the door so that they didn't know someone was home (tried to be relaxed as possible so that he wasn't worried himself)

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tortoiseshell · 09/10/2006 13:28

I would leave him. As long as he was confident about being left, and had access to a phone and a number to call in case of emergency. I used to walk home from school on my home at this age.

fairyjay · 09/10/2006 13:28

I think it's a good way to break him in gently, so long as he's not too poorly.

Gobbledispook · 09/10/2006 13:29

I think I'd leave a 9 year old in front of the TV for half an hour. Depends on child I suppose I'm thinking 9 is in yr 5 - that's quite responsible isn't it?

Original poster

Xena · 09/10/2006 13:29

I think he is mature and sensible. he is not being sick now but has stomach ache so can't stand for long

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Original poster

Xena · 09/10/2006 13:31

Gobbledispook yr 4 he is one of the older ones

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SCARErenity · 09/10/2006 13:38

DS is 9 in February and I'd be OK at leaving him, and my school run takes 30/40 minutes. I quite often leave him in the car when I go into the supermarket (only if it's a run in for bread or milk - not an actual shop)

wanderingstar · 09/10/2006 13:42

I think I'd leave him too, but I'd certainly be anxious to get back ! I think I left ds1 when he was just 10 and also poorly, to pick up other child/ren. Have you a neighbour with a key to your house whom you could phone if, say, you'd got stuck in a traffic jam or something, who could just be a bit of a back up ?

That said, I now don't hesitate to leave dd (nearly 8) in the house, as long as ds1 or ds2 are with her, if I have to nip out and she's not well/doesn't want to come with me. My older boys are now 11 and 13.

Bugsy2 · 09/10/2006 13:50

definitely leave - I think it would be mean to take him.
I've left my 6 year old for 10 mins before & he was just fine.
TBH, I wouldn't even worry. Statistically speaking, he is much safer at home than he is in your car!

batters · 09/10/2006 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twelveyeargap · 09/10/2006 14:02

If he doesn't mind, then I think it's fine. My daughter was getting herself home from school at 10 years of age and spending a couple of hours on her own until I came home. She preferred it to having a minder. Rules were: no friends in the house, do not answer the door etc. She was allowed to make a snack, but no sharp knives or hot things. She's 11 now and quite happily stays in by herself if I go out at the weekend for a few hours (until maybe 1am), gets herself to bed on time, can make herself simple meals like pasta and tomato sauce... It's a Godsend.

I think starting them off early with a few minutes here and there is a great idea. As soon as they feel ready I would go for it.

harpsichordcarrion · 09/10/2006 14:09

I would leave him at home. nine is plenty old enough imo.
does he have instructions about what to do in an emergency?

Original poster

Xena · 09/10/2006 14:13

batters I suggested he stayed at home on his own a couple of months ago when I needed to run DD1 up to my sisters but he didn't want to. The school is just round the corner so I don't need to worry about being stuck with the car as we walk. At the end of the day there are always streams of parents walking past our house to the shop at the end of the road so if he had a problem in the house it would be easier to see someone he knew to ask for help. But I think he if he wants to stay then I'll tell him to watch tv in my room till we get back.

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Original poster

Xena · 09/10/2006 16:40

He was fine

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wanderingstar · 09/10/2006 17:06

Good ! Probably built up his confidence too

PhantomCAM · 09/10/2006 17:14

I wouldn't leave my 9 year old, she'd be scared.

WideWebWitch · 09/10/2006 17:15

I'd prob leave him too, I'm glad he was fine. I let 9yo go to the local shop alone recently but

he had my mobile phone and only had to press one button to get through to dh

he knew the route, no roads to cross, it's a 4 min walk

was instructed not to speak to anyone/go anywhere other than shop and straight back

batters · 09/10/2006 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Xena · 09/10/2006 19:07

It is, I always have to try to find the balance between scaring (I have re spelt that 50 times i mean scare ing but can't spell it ) him with what could happen and helping become confident in doing things for himself. I seem to be getting the balance on this ok at the moment because if I had to describe his general attitude he is confident in his own ability but is not over- confident. His confidence in academic abilty is another story!

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