1st time mum

[Steph2468]

Hi ? I'm a first time mum & sorta new to this site... I have a 8week old baby boy but I kind of don't know what I'm doing when it comes to sleep, feeds, bedtime, playtime etc ... I was going to get Jo Frost confident babycare book as she talks about the combination routine & I think that would be the best type of routine for me and baby. Is there any experienced mums or even 1st time mums that would be able to help steer me in the right direction?
Thank you ?

Hi Steph, I can't help you with routine advice, I simply didn't have one. I followed the baby's lead for the most part. All they pretty much want to do for a while is feed and sleep :-)

My ds is 18 months now but as a baby I didn't follow any strict routine I just went with flow with him during the day. At night time we kept everything dim and quiet and nothing to stimulate him.
I did did try and follow a routine at about 6weeks with disastrous results so I gave up.
I think it's best to go with your gut feelings and just try your best.

I tried routines with DD1 and gave up. DD2 is just fed when hungry and put to sleep when tired.

Those books work fantastically well as long as your baby has read the book as well.

In the highly likely event that they haven't, the only two hard-and-fast rules that I follow are:

• get them napping any which way you can (be it on you, in a sling or, if you're outrageously lucky and don't have little sods like mine in a cot) after one hour of awake time. This increases to about 1.5 hours around 12-14 weeks
• get a bed time routine in place of bath-feed-bed once they start to show sleepy signs after 6pm and keep them in the room where they will be spending the night, in the dark or dim light for feeding, from then on so that they get day/night differentiation sorted.

Honestly, when you say 'I think that would be the best type of routine for me and baby', it would be a nice routine for you. Babies don't know about routines and many object (rightfully so) about trying to be made to follow one. It's our parents' generation that smile and nod approvingly about 'having a routine' like it's the mark of a good parent. After two babies, I call bollocks. And to the best of my knowledge, Jo Frost has no kids.

Every babies has different routines or better say they have no exact routines to do, each day is a learning process, you will can get through it, just enjoy your baby.
Welcome to motherhood.

My mum revealed the big secret: if someone seems to have a good routine, it's because The baby has decided to sleep at 7 or nap at 10am or whatever not the other way round! ??

My HV said "feed on demand, sleep on demand" ... eventually a pattern may well appear!

I didn't use a routine from a book - in fact the books all made me cry - I did, however establish a pretty strict routine which was led by DD. For example, one morning she fell asleep at 9am-ish so I encouraged that as naptime going forward.

Personally, I needed a routine, so working one out that suits baby rather than inflicting one from a book means less of a battle imo. Every child (and mum) is different and don't always conform.

I don't know Jo Frost's book, but I found the Baby Whisperer books good, as rather than imposing a strict routine, they teach you to read your baby's 'cues' and help you get into a kind of rhythm. If I remember rightly it's based on E.A.S.Y - Eat, Activity, Sleep, You. Activity just means doing anything that's not sleeping or feeding, it doesn't mean anything specific. They're very good on sleep issues, for when your LO is a bit older. But right now your baby is still tiny. I remember my health visitor saying that between 3 and 6 months is a good 'window' for getting your baby into good habits with sleep.