April Babies

[MrsDoolittle]

Well there had to be one...
Thought I might as well start it at Fennels suggestion.
You have all read enough from me how about you?

Well things did improve - she stayed quiet and settled at 11pm without any fuss. Yesterday was a nice day and she didn't feel so inclined to cry, which was good. Thank you for your support.

Dd doesn't seem to be a sicky baby atall, apart from when I change her nappy the wrong way round, after a feed. Then picking her legs up to put the nappy on seems to tip some milk out - poor thing. I notice she is starting to suck her thumb now - she is a very sucky baby. One morning I was feeding her in bed lying down and I fell asleep. I woke up two hours later and she was lying there asleep still sucking gently on my nipple!!

I can't believe she is 8 weeks on Saturday. dh keeps saying he can't wait for her to grow up. I am the other way. I was sooo looking forward to a baby, but I am not very good with toddlers and that worries me. I love having a little baby, apart from when she is crying incessantly!! Having said all that we have been very lucky because she sleeps at night and has done form the start.

Metrobaby - is 10 minutes the longest your ds will cry? Dd will cry for hours, stop, start. I know it's not colic because she has normally settled on me before I put her down. I am guessing that she needs to learn how to settle on her own without me.

MrsD - I wish that ds would only cry 10 mins! He can cry pretty much constantly for a couple of hours - especially if he is windy or overtired. What I meant though, is sometimes I have to leave him to cry for approx 10 mins without picking him up as I can be tied up with dd. I feel so guilty about that but I guess this is inevitable with subsequent children

I don't have subsequent children as an excuse. I just get fed up having to carry her all the time! I'm afraid that I am holding her too much so that she doesn't know how to settle herself. I don't pick her up for maybe 2 hours, I just look at her so that she knows that I am there. Maybe she is too young for this??

Does it work MrsD in settling herself? I'm interested to know as ds loves to be carried too. It's his favourite way to get off to sleep. I don't mind doing it during the day but I must admit during the night its exhausting !

Well! After nearly seven weeks of co-sleeping, dd spent last night in her carrycot next to the bed! We had friends over, and as we'd been drinking (well, I'd only had one glass, but dh had had a few) I thought it best to put dd in the carrycot after a late feed. Fed her again at 4-ish and put her back in the carrycot - no murmurs! Maybe there comes a time when they are less in need of reassurance (or maybe it was the glass of wine coming through into the breastmilk!).
Hope you are all ok (Lesley where are you?!)

I think you are right HD. I think they are less in need of reasurrance. Your dd is eight days younger than mine, which is about the time I began to feel more confident that she would settle at night.
During the day,I wonder if we seemed to 'break through a barrier' in the week when I left her to cry because aslong as she is not crying when I put her down she won't start up as quickly. I leave her in her crib and log on to the computer next door now and listen to her sucking her fingers very loudly maybe shout a little before going off to sleep. Her crying certainly doesn't seem to be as committed IYSWIM?
Maybe we are just getting used to each other and I am beginning to beable to tell when she is crying because she needs to sleep or because she is windy.
She still feeds alot during the day when she is awake. I wonder of she is going through a growth spurt as the last two mornings she wouldn't let me put her down after one boob, she had to have two. Maybe she is making up for the long periods she sleeps overnight. She certainly seems to sleep better if I let her 'stock' up the evening before, which I tend to do when there is a programme I want to watch. She is always quiet when she is attached or on my lap. Maybe this is a bad habit? But I don't want to interfere with it and ruin our good nights.

Now after all that - I think we are back to square 1!! (OOh look, more emoticons!!)
It's Saturday and she has had the attention of Mummy and Daddy all day. Either one of us has been holding her since we all woke up this morning. She joined us in bed when I fed her at six.
At 5.30pm she hadn't slept all day and she was nodding. We all went for a walk and she fell asleep in the papoose. I put her gently into her crib and eyes stayed shut for about 5 minutes - long enough for her register she was on her own!
Now it's nearly 6.30 and she has been crying for 15 minutes. I definately feel like Bad Mummy . Fennel, Fount of all knowledge, do you have any ideas on this?

HD- I was wondering where Lesley was too!

Dd often notices when we try to transfer her to pram/carrycot (think she was just too full/sleepy last night to protest). I guess your dd was protesting at going from the warmth of the papoose - and your body - to the crib. One thing I did last night (don't know if it helped) was put a t-shirt I had been wearing on top of the sheet in the carrycot. The idea was that dd would still smell me/my milk.
Your two posts MrsD illustrate perfectly something I was discussing with dh earlier today. You can be having a really nice day, thinking yes, everything's fine, I'm getting the hang of this - then later, or the next day, it can all break down and you feel bad (I definitely have swings like this).
Hope things are ok now MrsD (and of course you are not a Bad Mummy!)

Hi all,

I haven't posted for about 5 weeks - was temporarily without internet access (long dull story involving failed attempt to get broadband, not back on dial up). Certainly missed mumsnet. Forgive me if I don't scroll down and read the 5 weeks of messages that I have missed out on - I'll try to catch up but might inadvertently mention something you've already discussed to death.

How are all mums and babes doing? - anybody having a tough time?..and anybody finding it a doddle??! (well - you never know)

We're okay this end. Babe wakes alot during the night (01.00, 03.00, 05.00) but I suppose thats fairly typical. Dd is now pretty much used to her baby brother - he is 7 weeks and 3 days old now. Poor ds has had a rotten cold with dreadful nasal congestion - it sounds melodrammatic but I've been listening to him snorting for breath and fearing that every breath will be his last (his breathing has been sooo laboured)- but thankfully cold seems to be clearing up now. I thought that by having an April baby I could avoid the newborn baby with bad cold scenario - ah the best laid plans can fail can't they

meant to say now back on dial up....

Hi HMC, nice to have you back . I remember ds's first cold, when he was about 8 weeks. He couldn't sleep lying down so he ended up in his bouncy chair one night with us hovering over him, boiling the kettle to make steam - it's horrible isn't it.

Oh My God - 1,3 and 5 am, HMC?? What the hell am I complaining about???{
Today, being Sunday, has been a lovely day so far. Dd fell asleep in my arms listening to Nora Jones out in the garden. Now she is asleep in the garden (very humid), dh and I are supping G&T's and planning a bbq. How long will it last?
HD Thank you for your words of empathy, they help. Btw - I gave in yesterday and picked her. have decided she is too young to be left to cry. I can cope with 10 minutes maybe 20 while we eat, but not hours. I hope I am not setting us up for strife later on.
I guess Fennel must be camping again. Hope she has had the same weather we have

MrsD, don't know if this helps but:

"Don?t think you are spoiling your baby if he needs lots of cuddling and enjoys being carried round with you. Human babies are designed to be carried. An American study observed that the young of animals fell into two categories - cache or carry. Either they were meant to be left for long periods in the nest while their parents hunted for food (cache) or they were meant to be carried by parents all the time while the parents were hunting (carry).

The authors of the study concluded that human babies definitely fell into the carry category. They based their conclusion on the fact that human breast milk, with its low protein content, indicates that babies should be fed frequently - every two to three hours (they aren?t designed to be left alone for long periods), and that a human baby has reflexes which represent clinging and attachment to the mother."

(From www.babyworld.co.uk/information/baby/crying/calming.asp)

Mrs D - our ds2 is exactly the same at tea time - dp and I think we'll never have another meal together again - but ds1 was exactly the same at this age, and somehow it does pass. In the meantime, we take it in turns to eat (far too quickly) at 6pm, and then as soon as I've eaten I take ds2 off to get him changed and ready for the mammoth last feed, which lasts for about an hour. Then he's down at about 7.30pm and went until 3am last night!!!

I think tea time is just babies' worst time of day - especially ds2, as he's refusing to do more than cat nap during the day at the moment. He goes down wonderfully at bedtime - no bother or crying at all - and the same in the middle of the night. But during the day the only thing that seems to calm him down is when I lie him on our bed and switch the hairdryer on. He usually nods off within about 5 minutes and then I can transfer him to his cot - try it - it's a good trick!

we didn't go camping (the weather forecast wasn't great - but it's sunny today after all so maybe we should have).

HMC welcome back. dd3 has her 3rd cold now - too many snotty toddlers around here. so she's a bit stressed out - snuffly and still possetty. A very damp baby.

mrs d - personally, if dd3 cries a lot persistently I pick her up and cuddle her. and if she doesn't want to be in her carrycot I have her in bed. it works for us, but I think it all depends what you feel happy with. I do leave her if I'm busy so she does learn she doesn't always automatically get picked up - like you, for 10 minutes or so.

Dot - have not heard of the hairdryer thing before!

I'm like Fennel - I pick dd up if she cries, unless I'm making ds's lunch or something. MrsD, that bit from babyworld I copied and pasted - I hope you don't think I was suggesting you should carry her all the time - just that it's ok to, if that's what you want. I read what I thought was quite a good article on crying, and how to respond to it, on the Active Birth website recently - it's here if anyone's interested.

Bad luck re dd3's colds Fennel. Very hot here - just been out with the pram and ds on his bike. Think that will probably be our only trip out today (there's no school so I don't have to do the drop-off/pick-up).

Morning! It's very hot here today, I think it's the first time I have had the courage to put dd into one of the many beautiful summer outfits we were given when she was born. Only thing is, she is not very big and most of them are still too big for her? HD when shall we get together?
Your advice Ladies basically confirms how I was feeling - naturally babies should be carried. Dd is so much happier when I do! I think it was the evening meal that was bugging me, but the fact we have had a nice day yesterday makes one feel alot better.
Dot - I shall try your trick. Dd is alot like your ds. She settles easily at night time, wakes up once during the night and settles again after her feed. She doesn't have a regular rest pattern during the day. Some days she can sleep for up to 4 hours during the day in one go,others she will only catnap. I guess some days are good, others are not so good.

MrsD - this afternoon? Or tomorrow/Weds?

HD -This afternoon sounds good. Whenever really. we are going to baby massage on Wednesday

Anyone else finding this thread takes along time to load??

This afternoon would be good, if you don't mind ds trying to monopolise the conversation
Is it cheeky of me to ask you to come here again? Any time is fine.

Okay HD - I'll get off now. Give me and hour/half and I'll be round!!

Both kids are asleep now and I should be industrious and get on with a few jobs - but sod it, they can wait!

Mrs Doolittle, I didn't realise that you were having to hold your baby virtually constantly. The others are right - you can't spoil a newborn and if they want to be carried its basically an innate need for security and human contact...but boy is it wearing for you! I do sympathise. My dd was a bit like that and it can be exhausting. Luckily baby ds seems quite happy to spend half hour here and there kicking on his baby gym.

Has anybody else suggested using a baby carrier so that you can be 'hands free' ? - sorry to state the obvious, I guess you've already considered that!

Fennel - sorry to hear that your dd3 is on her 3rd cold by now!

Thanks HMC. We are experiencing very hot weather here at the moment (long may it last) and dd is definately more settled outside. She will sit quite happily outside in her bouncer for half and hour, it was 40 minutes to day. It also seems that the fresh air tires her out, or looking at bumble bees, and she has slept for a good few hours outside in her pram.
I have tried the sling once and she wasn't having any of it but then it was when she was colicky. It's too hot to try it now. But the last couple of days have given me the break I needed and I am feeling alot more positive .
HD - Sorry to mess you around. I was getting into the car when I realised, I phoned dh but he was in meetings all day so he couldn't bring the attachments home. This also means I can't go out and spend money Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow!! Poor dd and I had her all dressed up too.
Anyone else baking out there? I mean in the sun?