Nightmare toddler + new baby!!

[Loveallmyboys]

Aaaaaaaaargh!!!!
So, after me being AWOL for the past 6 weeks due to having a prem baby in scbu, my 2.5 yr old is in self-destruct mode! Doing whatever he can seemingly just to piss me off!
Now, I realise there's a good reason for his behavior... Mummy wasn't here, daddy let me get my own way a lot for an easy life, now mummy is home with this small person that is constantly stuck to her boob!
How can I get my delightful little boy back, and fast. I'm on the verge of tears because I miss the old him :(

Don't really have useful advice but wanted to offer a hand - I have a 2.8yo and a 8wo and know exactly what you mean about missing the old him. My older DS is a lovely lovely boy but has been a little shit for a lot of the time since DS2 arrived.

He's getting better, and does seem to be generally happier if he has some time just with me and/or his dad giving him as much attention as possible. Also tried to work out the worst times and triggers so we could avoid them, eg when DS1 gets home from nursery I try to put DS2 down so I can be with the big one properly. Also found that he's better spending time at home with me rather than trying to do too many trips out to playgroups etc.

I keep telling myself its developmental 2.5 is a tough age anyway, and we just need to give him and ourselves time.

Congrats on your new baby, and on gettin home from scbu.

Congratulations on having your baby home safe and well

I'm sorry if this is not an option yet, if at all, but what about using a sling for your baby so he/she can feed as often as they need yet you still have your hands free to see to your toddler?
Give your toddler loads of meaningful praise whenever you see her doing anything good, no matter how small. Give her random hugs and kisses along with other small treats. Make sure she knows just how much you still love her. Take ten minutes, at any point through the day, to focus just on her - even if the baby is crying. Get her involved in looking after the baby - stroking the baby's head to try and soothe him/her or helping with nappy changing and washing etc. Talk to her about how much the baby loves her and watches what she does.
Be calm and consistent with discipline - you can understand why she's behaving as she is but she still needs boundaries and routines. Whatever you did before the baby arrived, do it again now.
It will take time for things to settle back down again and for your toddler to get used to having a sibling, but it will happen; things will get easier and more calm.

I'm very sorry, I misread your OP and thought your toddler was a girl