Bedtime for 10 year old?

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My (just turned) 10 year old son is currently in tears because I won't let him stay up until 9.30pm on school nights, I have said he can stay up til 8.30pm at the latest but he reckons that is the bedtime that "year two kids have, all of my friends stay up til 9.30!!!".

The current evening routine is along the lines of:

Dinner at about 5.30pm, watch T.V/play on the computer for about 45 mins then get to play with toys until youngest son goes to bed at 7.30pm, my 10 year old then comes upstairs at 8pm, gets teeth brushed and reads until 8.30pm.

He is my PFB so I have no idea of whether I am BU or not, he does struggle to wake up for school when he stays up until 9pm or later, he is currently chuntering away to himself about how unfair it is and how mean I am

What time do your 10 year olds go to bed?

dd is 11 and her bedtime is 9pm during the week. ds is 8 and his is 8.30pm

My dss has a 9pm bedtime at his mum's as does 9yo dsd however they have permanent dark circles and when with us they are in bed by 8-830 and I have a devil of a job getting them up in a morning!! at weekends they sleep til gone 10

My ds is 12 and is in bed at 8.30 and he reads until 9. I know most of his mates probably don't go to bed until 10 but I'd rather him wake up bright and breezy.
We record certain programmes that are on later that he might like to watch so his friends never need to know he's in bed early as he's still up to date with things.

Ds1 is almost 11 and goes up at 8.30 and reads until 9pm.

My 10 year old's bedtime is 8.30, lights out 9. He also tells me it's ridiculously early. But I dont believe him. My DD is 12, she tends to go to bed around the same time as she gets really tired. She gets up at 6 30. I'm hard pressed to drag him out by 7 30, so I really wish he'd go a bit earlier! They need their sleep!!!

Dis is 10 and goes up between 8.30 and 8.45. My middle ds goes at 8, and my youngest ds whose 4 goes at 7pm but is rarely asleep before 7.30 :)) sounds like you are doing a great job OP

ds (9) has lights off at 8.30
dd (11) has lights off at 9.00

However, dd has an activity on a mon and tues which means they both go to bed about 10pm on those nights. Not ideal really but they don't seem tired because of it.

Now the nights are darker earlier I have been able to get them into bed about 8pm a few times a week. They don't seem to have noticed

In theory he is in bed by 8.30 and can read till 9. In practise he has 2 after school activities that don't finish till 8.30, so not in bed till 9pm, and we are not too fussy on a Friday/Saturday night. He is often still awake at 9.30 though.

Thanks for the replies, it seems that I'm not being as massively unreasonable as DS would like to think!

This has been the first time he's challenged me by using the 'but everyone else gets to...' line, it threw me a bit! We have been clashing a lot recently so I'm keen to avoid turning this into another thing to battle over!

My DSD is 11 and her bedtime is 9.30.

DS1 (10) goes up at different times during the week - Sunday around 8ish as he's usually been up til 10-11pm on Fridays & Saturdays. Then 8.45 on Mon / Tues (always asleep within 10 mins of being in bed) Wednesdays is youth club so another 10pm bedtime so early again on Thursday.

Two ten year olds here. One takes himself off to bed at about 8 and is usually asleep by 8.30 The other takes herself off to bed at about 8 and would listen to music all night long (with headphones) if we let her, but we have made a rule that she turns it off at 8.30.

I really do think it depends on your child's habits and sleep pattern and that includes waking.

DS is 9 10 in Feb and goes up at 7.30pm we read and chat till 8pm, lights out and he chats some more and eventually sleeps around 9ish BUT he wakes up early every flipping morning so is so ready for wind down from 7.30pm.

Mine are 10 and 11. bedtime is 9 with official lights out time at 9.30, although in reality they often read a bit longer. Also, one night a week they have an activity that they do not get in from until after 10, so later that night. They get up around 7.15 on a weekday. They seem to be fine, not tired during the day and are quite good about having an earlier night if they think they need one.

I do often let them stay up later at the weekend as they can lie in if tired.