Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

DD only one not invited to a party

84 replies

benandhollyonrepeat · 17/11/2014 13:05

DD is in reception and there are only 8 girls in the class, one girl has just had a b'day party and only invited the girls from the class (not the boys), all the girls that is apart from my DD....it turns out that she was the only one not invited. I just wouldn't do this if it was my DD's party as I would be worried the one left out would be upset and I wouldn't want one child to feel upset and left out. I really want to ask the mother why she did it and if there is a problem between my DD and hers - do you think it's ok to ask this or should I just leave it. I feel so hurt and upset for my DD.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Preciousbane · 20/11/2014 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood · 20/11/2014 18:45

CanYou - she's not in a group of 8. She's part of a whole class - even if it's a ridiculously small class, at a private school or something, it's still going to be twice the number who are invited.

Of course I've been in situations where people are talking about an event they are going to or have been to. No, I don't feel it's rude, I just think 'I hope they have (or had) a nice time' - I have lots of different people that I know from lots of different things I do, and just because I'm friendly with people at one thing, I wouldn't expect them all to invite me to their parties. I'm perfectly capable of being friendly without being needy, and it seems my dc are too.

As I've said over and over - like Precious just above here - I've had 3 dc go through Primary school, all very different, and, no, not all invited to lots of parties, but I've just never been aware of who was having parties if my dc didn't get an invitation. If ever any of them mentioned that it was x's party on Saturday or something and they were a bit sad they weren't invited, I'd have said something along the lines of "Oh well, everyone doesn't have the same sorts of parties, numbers are often limited and they might have lots of cousins or something they need to invite" and then distracted them with something else.

I agree with Claraschu here : I do think that it is important to play this sort of thing down for your child, and make 100% sure you are not in any way increasing it's importance in her perceptions. You must use your wiles to trick her into forgetting or not noticing such things in the future. Sometimes children are not even as bothered as adults are about parties . It's up to you if your dc sees this as a big thing or not.

lougle · 20/11/2014 20:04

"I vowed to never invite her to anything I was hosting ever again."

Wow. I hope you never make one mistake and have it held against you forevermore!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

jelliebelly · 20/11/2014 20:10

Giving her the cold shoulder isn't going to help anybody! What if the invite simply got lost??

lem73 · 20/11/2014 20:30

You do have to consider the possibility that your daughter got an invitation but it went astray. When my DD cleared out her tray at the end of foundation there were two party invitations she hadn't brought home. Luckily I knew the mums well enough that they'd told me on the school run. Give the mum the benefit of the doubt.

merrymouse · 20/11/2014 21:57

What if she never reads mumsnet and just never thought about what she was doing and now feels awful?

merrymouse · 20/11/2014 22:02

Also, while I wouldn't do what this mum did, I very much agree with others that it is a valuable lesson to learn that stuff happens and you can bounce back, whereas it is harmful to learn that an incident like this is the end of the world.

You don't have to be best friends with this woman, but a cold shoulder won't get you anywhere.

GColdtimer · 20/11/2014 22:23

It has happened to dd a couple of times. In reception the whole class of 22 was invited apart from my dd. She is now in year 4 and friends with that girl. A few months ago the mum was talking to me about that party as being a whole class one and then went red and quiet as she remembered she hadn't invited dd. I didn't ask her why but I got cross about it all over again because dd cried about that for days.

So I totally understand how you feel. Do have a word with the teacher to see if your dd is being left out and perhaps have her friends back for tea to help her with friendships if there is a problem.

paddyclampo · 20/11/2014 23:24

I would have a word with the mum. I would say that your DD was really upset about being the only girl not invited and were wondering if she'd done anything wrong.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page