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Parenting

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Original poster

What's really great about girls?

45 replies

ZebraZeebra · 31/10/2014 14:18

I'm 23 weeks with DC2 and the sonographer was fairly sure she's a girl. My son is two and I absolutely adore him - he's smashing I admit girl came as a shock as my husband is one of five boys. So I was expecting a boy and can't imagine what it's going to be like.

So please, if you don't mind, regale me with awesome girl tales?

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Thurlow · 31/10/2014 14:22

Kids are kids - I don't mean that snarkily, but I can't really imagine anything that DD has done in her 3 years that is particular to being a girl as opposed to a boy.

Just remember you clean them differently when you change nappies

Mumraathenoisylion · 31/10/2014 14:24

I think from my expert knowledge of having 2dds - they are pretty much the same as boys!! Just treat them the same as you would your ds and let them indulge in activities they show interest in.

My eldest loves judo, muppets, running around A LOT, making silly jokes, singing and musical instruments. dd2 is still quite young but seems to prefer role playing - being a chef in the kitchen, pushing a baby in the pram.

Other than body parts there is no difference imo.

tywysogesgymraeg · 31/10/2014 14:26

Girls are great - as they get older you can have shopping days with them, go to the spa, discuss men, share clothes... all the girlie stuff that MNers say shouldn't be labeled girlie but which I can't envisage your average boy doing, and certainly not in our house

I've never had boys and I'm sure they are great too, in their way. But that's why I love having girls.

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Original poster

ZebraZeebra · 31/10/2014 14:28

Yes the cleaning nappies is different - must remember can't go in all / any direction!

I'm just - errr - struggling to adjust my expectations? I know it's individuality as well and have expectations is a bit pointless But to be honest I feel a bit foolish and so I just wanted to focus on the positive (healthy baby) and what it's like having a girl.

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EmbarrassedPossessed · 31/10/2014 14:30

Girls are really great - each one has their own distinct personality that will develop over time, no two girls will be alike. You'll find they will be into all sorts of different activities, past-times and sports.

In fact, thinking about it, boys are like this too.

m0therofdragons · 31/10/2014 14:31

Ime they tend to be a bit gentler. I have 3 dds. I remember dh chatting to a friend who has 3 older dd's just after we found I was expecting id twin girls. He said he'd been to a mate's house who had 3ds and they were play fighting and loud then he went home to find his 3 sitting at a table colouring. My dds don't play flight but friends dss do. Having said that my dds can be loud and my db was never a rough and tumble kind of boy so it's all generalisations. I love having girls - they are fab, but I'm sure boys are too I just don't have any experience of patenting one. Dd1 wants to be me and definitely sees me as a role model (almost 7yo). It's lovely but also quite a responsibility.

Mumraathenoisylion · 31/10/2014 14:33

Did you want to have a boy? It's totally normal to feel a bit bewildered, there are lots of threads on here about the same thing. I think I would feel the way you are feeling if dd2 had been ds2.

After my previous post I've had a think and it's true, most women I know are very close to their parents and men tend to drift away a bit so that's always something lovely to look forward to. Then there's being there for your dd if she chooses to have children (also something I'm looking forward to).

Oop - dd2 is shouting me from the cot....

m0therofdragons · 31/10/2014 14:34

Oh and foofoo poo is gross... When newborn poos and it goes to the front. Dh used to call me to deal with dd 1, by the time we had the twins he was an expert!

TheWanderingUterus · 31/10/2014 14:39

My boy is lovely, my girl is lovely. DS peed on my upper body when nappy changing, DD got my lower half.

They are both loud and boisterous and brilliant.

The only differences I found it hard to cope with were the ones suggested to me by society e.g. DD shouldnt like maths, DS shouldnt like shopping etc. I just ignored them and encouraged the DC to go their own way. DS is awesome at clothes shopping, btw, so is my cousins son. My daughter gets a haunted look in her eye and grabs at stuff in shops.

My two like to wrestle each other (sigh), now I know what my mother felt like.

Angelface5 · 31/10/2014 14:39

It's great I have 4 dds the only thing I recall as being different to my ds is their bits when nappy changing. And they do beautiful girls clothes which I missed with my ds. When they are babies that is basically it really. But when they get older they are totally different well my bunch are anyway. If you love shopping you will have a partner for life even my 4 year dd is a shopaholic she loves handbags and shoes
Just worry about it anyway it will all come naturally like I'm sure it did with your son. And I have found boys play with girls toys and girls play with boys toys. Just follow their lead as to what they like and are into because even two of the same sex can be so different.

Original poster

ZebraZeebra · 31/10/2014 14:40

I think I did feel some disappointment upon finding out and I feel terrible about it - one because I didn't realise I had a preference until now, and two because - well - this is my baby, I love her already and it seems terrible to be disappointed.

My little boy is so intrinsically a boy - fits every single stereotype. And I know it's not maybe fair to talk about differences but I'm trying to imagine what she'll be like to handle my feelings positively by hearing about girls from parents. Maybe it's not the done thing to talk about the differences but I don't mean it in a negative way.

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EATmum · 31/10/2014 14:45

I have three DDs and I would have been flummoxed by DD3 if she'd been a boy. You identify loving your child with the one you have, and so as you have a boy you want more of the same. But each child is unique and brilliant, and you will love your daughter for everything that she is, though that's all yet to be written for her. And clothes shopping is a lot of fun with my DDs if that helps.

theonlygothinthevillage · 31/10/2014 14:47

I haven't RTFT so someone may have pointed this out already, but whatever you love about boys, you'll find in girls. They aren't born slotted nicely into gender stereotypes - we make them that way. Good luck with the pregnancy!

skolastica · 31/10/2014 14:48

My DD, now 26, is my best friend. That's what's really great about girls!

Thurlow · 31/10/2014 14:48

Don't feel terrible about it. I always pictured having boys, which was the main reason I found out at 20w for DD as I had a gut feeling she was a girl and I wanted to know. Sometimes it does take time to change your expectations. And I think it can be hard to imagine having anything other than another version of what you already have

You will be entering the joyful world of what to call girl's private parts, you cannot get that one right no matter what you do, you're either technically wrong (vagina, because you should be saying vulva) or too crude (vulva) or too cutesy (minnie). It's a wonderful minefield. Oh, and hair. They just have more hair. And you have to wash it, and tie it in pony tails, or cut it all the time. I swear girl's hair grows at a rate of knots.

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 31/10/2014 14:48

Mine loves snakes, spiders and reptiles and dragons. She loves fart jokes, Lego and running around. She doesn't do pink really. I was a bit worried about having a girly girl but in the end I got a mini-me, which is just fabulous!

mineallmine · 31/10/2014 14:49

I have a boy and a girl with a 10 year gap. I was so so thrilled to have a second child, I wouldn't have cared if she was an alien BUT now that she's here and that she is a girl, I love love love having a girl. She's 4, much more active than ds ever was, climbs on everything, hits, runs away etc etc. Ds sat and did colouring quietly and did what he was told.
But her clothes are yummy, I paint her nails and she cuddles up with me to watch strictly on Saturday evenings. All completely superficial things and lovely for it. You'll love it, don't worry. Our dd was adopted from Russia and we were full sure we'd get a boy so there was a little mental adjusting to do before she came but it's completely wonderful having a dd.

Taffeta · 31/10/2014 14:52

I understand. My second DC is a girl after my DS, and I was for some reason sure I'd have two boys.

They are 8 & 11 now . DS very sporty,academic, wears heart on sleeve, intense, competitive. DD a dreamer, musical, gentle, thoughtful.

I love doing stuff with both of them, I love that they are so different and into totally different things. If means I get the experience of it all, but I guess the downside is that it's hard to find stuff they high like to do. But because of this they learn so much from each other.

I'm not a girly girl, and DD is, so far. She loves fashion, shopping, hair and all that crap and I couldn't be less interested. But you know what? I don't mind shopping etc so much when I've had to attend yet another football match. I love the variety. She can mooch about a shop for hours quite happily, where DS is antsy after 5 seconds. She is calm to his hyper.

So blessed to have them both.

Original poster

ZebraZeebra · 31/10/2014 14:57

Excellent posts, thank you so much. Big yes to expecting another version of the little person I'm so in love with already. When we were TTCing we'd talk about DC2 as being like-DS-but-not-like-DS and it was such a warm and fuzzy feeling.

I know intellectually/rationally that when she's here I'll fall in love all over again. And that stereotypes are just that and that gender is a social construct. And I did parkour and Olympic lifting and read books about how fairy tales are full of misogyny...yet despite being 100% behind all that...I can't wrap my head around the idea of having a daughter. For whatever reason I thought I had three little boys who'd grow into big strapping men who would give me great big bear hugs and I'd teach them how to be kind men who treat their friends and girlfriends well, with respect. I don't know. My expectations - as foolish as it was to have any regarding children - are way off and I'm just trying to re-adjust them.

OP posts:

trilbydoll · 31/10/2014 14:59

All the baby clothes are suitable for girls, so you have twice as much choice tbh, DD is a little whirlwind, I can't imagine she would be any different as a boy. Dresses are slightly more restrictive though, so I put her in a dress when I am hoping she will just sit still for 10 minutes!

ElephantsNeverForgive · 31/10/2014 15:00

The beauty of girls is they can do Everything! and they do it slightly more quietly.

Thurlow · 31/10/2014 15:03

I thought I had three little boys who'd grow into big strapping men who would give me great big bear hugs

So did I! Now I have one stropping threenage daughter. Who is very much not quiet

I like the fact you can dress girls in boys clothing more easily than you can dress boys in girls clothing. Does that help?

Original poster

ZebraZeebra · 31/10/2014 15:32

The hair! DS has yet to grow a full head but all the two year girls I know are on their third haircut or something. And all the luscious clothes - so many nice things as oppose to all the bloody khaki now with DS.

OP posts:

fflonkl · 31/10/2014 15:38

Clothes :-) I used to love to shop for myself, now I love shopping for DD because I think girls clothing is so much more interesting than boys.

Not much help if you're not into shopping I know!

Steben · 31/10/2014 15:50

I always envisaged two boys - got two girls - love everything about it! DH has even gotten good at hair !

Plus prepare yourself for the waves of congratulations over achieving the dream of one of each!

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