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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving baby with grandparents

24 replies

izzyness · 30/10/2014 20:43

I was curious too know when others left their baby with their parents or anyone for the first time over night.

DH and I have our anniversary coming up and were thinking of leaving DD (3 months) with my parents. Aside from not being sure if I could be away from her for that long do people think she might be too young to be away from us for so long?

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tobysmum77 · 30/10/2014 20:57

She'll be fine either way, it's your decision based on what you geek comfortable with. I left dd1 at about this age and went to a wedding. Other people wouldn't, there's no right or wrong.

tobysmum77 · 30/10/2014 20:58

feel comfortable

AliMonkey · 30/10/2014 21:10

Assuming you are FF or she will take expressed milk and is already used to being away from you for eg a couple of hours and you think you won't be worrying then fine. Must admit we only left DD once aged about 2 until she started doing occasional sleepovers at friends age 6 - but that's more because our mums are both widows and we always felt it was a bit much for a DM on own - although would have done it if needed to eg if timing of DS birth hadn't meant DH home by time DD woke up in morning. If had both parents alive still think we would have waited until about one.

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Babiecakes11 · 30/10/2014 21:20

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Psycobabble · 30/10/2014 21:22

You've gotta do what you feel you wouldn't want to go and not enjoy it ! I'd left ds overnight by this point with my parents and I was fine with it he was formula fed and also had spent a lot of time around my parents anyway don't get me wrong I love my son more than life itself but every now and then need a night off and if you have family around to help out who I'm sure will love having her then go for it and enjoy a night with your hubby! This might sound weird but the general experience of myself and my friends is that once your actually out enjoying yourself you don't miss them as much as you think you will !

confusedandemployed · 30/10/2014 21:26

6 weeks old, DD was. I confess I didn't really worry at all, DP and I had a lovely night out.

I was very pleased to see her the next day though.

Original poster

izzyness · 30/10/2014 21:31

Thanks guys. It would be nice to have a night to ourselves. My folks only live 15 mins away so if I do get a bit stressed out won't take long to get her back .

OP posts:

Psycobabble · 30/10/2014 21:43

Ye go out and enjoy yourselfs :) lots of cuddles with lo the next day :)

Bluesummer20 · 30/10/2014 21:51

My mum will be having my 11week old DS overnight for the first time next week. I know I'll miss him a lot and will ring to check how he is getting on, but my mum knows his routine, he knows her so I'm not worried. Enjoy ur anniversary!

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/10/2014 21:53

Three months is not to young. Go for it. She will be fine

Littlegiraffe · 30/10/2014 22:38

3 months is totally fine in my opinion.
I know people who've been at opposite ends of the spectrum (couple of weeks to several years).
I was 7.5months due to incessant breast feeding.

Our first night away could've gone better. When I called home, my DS was crying. He had stopped by the time I got off the phone, but I cried all the way through our dinner...... To the extent that, when I went to the toilet, the waitress asked DH if everything was ok, and asked if there was anything she could do!
(Then I got rip-roaring drunk and forgot all about it )

Enjoy your night away. I'm a strong believer in parents needing time for themselves/each other. That's what grandparents were made for

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 30/10/2014 23:03

My eldest is nearly 3 years old and we've never left her overnight. But not for want of trying we don't have anyone that will take her overnight and now we have a 4mo EBF bottle refusing baby. I would walk over hot coals for one night away with dh.

kiki0202 · 31/10/2014 08:26

DS stayed away a 3 weeks with my mum and since then has stayed with my mum a good few times and stays with MIL 2 nights a month. If you trust your parents enough to leave her with them she will be fine your still alive after all :) I think it's lovely for GP to have some special one on one time and imo it's easier the younger they are before separation anxiety and I want my mummy start.

SauvignonBlanche · 31/10/2014 08:33

DS was 9 (yrs) and DD was 6.

sandgrown · 31/10/2014 08:36

Have had all my DGC overnight from about 6 weeks to give the parents a break. FWIW I worry about them more than I ever worried about my DC. I slept with one ear open just like when I was a young mum

lecherrs · 31/10/2014 10:20

Depends on how you're feeding the baby.

Dd1 wasn't left until way after 6 months, but she was exclusively breast fed, so it wasn't possible. Had she been formula fed, then I would happily have left her at 3 months.

But then, my DDs sleep at my parents' every Friday night and have done so for years. Make the most of the offer is say .

mumofboyo · 31/10/2014 12:48

I think it depends upon how you feel and your circumstances.
Both my dc were formula fed and were used to being fed by people other than me so it was easier to leave them.
Out of all our friends and family, my dc are the youngest so I was happy to leave them with people who were confident and experienced parents themselves.
Both my dc stayed out overnight from as young as 4 weeks with various relatives. We had no choice with our youngest because we moved house when she was 6 weeks old. It was November, the coldest night of the year to press and we had no heating so the house was very cold.
I'd say go with your own feelings and instincts - leave your dc overnight when you're comfortable and happy with it.

Mutley77 · 31/10/2014 13:01

DC 1 was 11 (nearly 12) months, DC 2 was 9 months and DC 3 is 18 months with no sniff of a night off in sight....!

TBH in our situation we haven't had anyone willing to do it or be particularly involved in childcare so I can't really answer the question. Given that no family members were willing and able to really look after our children at the age of 3 months there's no way I would have felt happy to leave them, but if my circumstances were different and I had willing helpers, I may well have felt differently! By 18 months I am dying for a night off and would probably almost leave DC 3 with any random person if the opportunity arose!!!

HTH

Babetti · 31/10/2014 13:24

At three months I don't think she is too young and can both have a lovely night to yourselves...and get some undisturbed sleep!

I left our four month old overnight with my sister for our anniversary. She stayed in our house so that made life easier for us and the baby who was in a familiar surroundings with all the bits and pieces. I had just finished weaning him on to formula so that made it easier too as I didn't need to express while away.

He'll be staying overnight with my mum in a few weeks at 6 months in her house so we'll see how that goes!

trilbydoll · 31/10/2014 14:54

I would love to leave DD but she still wakes in the night to come in with us (18mo) and it isn't fair on the grandparents. It'll be fine, enjoy yourselves!

ArabellaTarantella · 31/10/2014 15:56

4 months old for 2 nights. Thoroughly enjoyed my break. It would be rude to even think that I thought my mother couldn't cope.

Thurlow · 31/10/2014 16:11

I think in some ways, the younger the better. That's probably about the age we left DD with my parents. Better to do a trial run while you're nearby in case you don't feel comfortable with it, so that if you do have to go away for a wedding or something, everyone knows the drill.

Imo, if you start while they are little and do it every now and again then there is a good chance they'll see it as something normal and it will be easier to do as they get older. And never knock back people who are happy to have your baby overnight, you never know when you'll be knackered, have something to go to, have a manic week at work etc!

trowelmonkey1 · 31/10/2014 16:11

DS was 4 months and my parents came to stay for the weekend so DH and I could go to a wedding. He wasn't in the slightsit bit bothered and we had a lovely couple of nights away

Pasithea · 16/11/2014 00:58

GC are desperate to come. They are school age and still not allowed too

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