how to help a self centred big headed dc be more kind and humble.

[losenotloose]

I'm feeling sad about 8 year old ds. I've just come back from parents evening and although it was generally positive, his teacher brought something up that has always been an issue. she said he's "very bright, but doesn't always use it in a kind way". she said he needs to learn to be more humble.

it's so hard seeing your dc have horrible traits. since very young he's been very 'me first' and the kind of child constantly showing off and telling you he's best at everything. he rarely puts anyone else first.

it actually makes me feel depressed and like he's not going to be a very nice person as he grows up.

How can I get through to him?

I haven't got any direct experience of this unfortunately but would something like this help?

that looks good. he can be empathetic (cries at sad films) and has a friend with special needs that he is very protective over. he also chose to spend half his birthday money on his brother. these things reassure me that he has got it in him, just when it's in relation to himself losing out it's lacking!

I keep trying to explain that it's ok to have confidence, or know that you are good at something, but don't go on about it. so far it doesn't seem to help.

I think a lot of 8yos are like this tbh! I wouldn't worry too much at this age, he has many years to develop compassion and emotional maturity. I find with DS1 (nearly 8) that because he is very bright and articulate, I expect too much emotional maturity from him sometimes. It is still so young!

One thing which has helped DS1 is karate. It's big on respecting your opponent as well as self-respect, and his instructors would have no truck with boasting or showing off. Maybe an idea?

I would like him to do karate, might have to try and convince him though!

it's not a new thing with him though, he's always tended towards it. I really hope he grows out of it, there are plenty of self centred adults out there!