The Talk

[MrsPiddlewink]

My Ds is approaching 9.

From what I've read on here - and other sites - we should have discussed sex by now. We haven't, and he hasn't asked. My youngest (at 3) probably knows more because he's always asking (he knows all about periods thanks to being permanently attached to me!). Have I left it too late for my oldest? He's quite sensitive and shy, and gets easily embarrassed.

Any advice gratefully received. I never had the talk with my parents, and even my period was taboo... I don't want it to be like that for my DC.

I'd start off with a book and take it from there. Tell him if he had questions he can ask you.

A book sounds a good idea - any recommendations?

I can't remember what I used with ds,I think it was an Usbourne book but he was 6 do I don't know if that'll be too young. Perhaps look on Amazon and read the reviews to get an idea. Good luck

Do= so

Do you think I've left it too late?

I have a 6yo too - what should he know by now?

Ds needed to be brought up to speed when he was nearly 9 and I overheard him telling his little sister how his teacher "got a baby inside her because she kissed her husband"
Usbourne's What's happening to me did the job nicely. Not too grown up, but it tells you everything. Ds read it, digested the content for a while and then started asking questions. The book still has pride of place next to his bed and he quotes it frequently.

Thanks Pippi - have ordered that book.

Never to late OP. And don't worry if he just sits there apparently not taking it in, he will be listening.

Thank you -any tips for me?

Thanks to my own experience with my parents (none) I'm struggling a bit

I went over everything with my dd when she was about 7, she knew where babies came from because she has two younger sisters. I used the proper terms - ie having sex, no special cuddles, seed type analogies. I also got her the Osborne what's happening to me book.

Every few months I ask if she's any questions about sex, has she heard anything she isn't sure about, needs to ask me.

I also went over periods, body changes etc again recently (she's now 9). I just did it really factually (and then went and had a stiff drink ). I didn't want to make too much of a big deal about it, it's just biology.

But how do you answer "what's sex?" without using special cuddle

Sex is something that feels nice and that a couple do together when they want to feel closer. When a man and woman have sex a mans penis gets harder and fits inside the woman's vagina, sometimes this can make a baby, but not all the time.

Well done Wiggles! My boys are 22 months and 6 weeks so we are not quite at this stage yet but am very interested.

How did you explain periods?

Well done Wiggles! My boys are 22 months and 6 weeks so we are not quite at this stage yet but am very interested.

How did you explain periods?

Thanks for this thread. I'm in the same boat MrsPiddle. My ds is nearly 9 and we haven't broached it, although my 5yo twins have asked more questions. They know about periods and they know babies come out of tummies, but they don't know (and have never asked) how they come to be in the tummy. I think ds1 will be freaked out and ds2 will LOVE it and go on about it in a loud voice on the way to school [sigh].

Wiggles - I worry that I won't be able to say that without going bright red. Is that really wjat you would say? I'm such a prude

Same Merry! DS2 is going to be in his element whilst DS1 will be mortified!

I went bright red too , but it's got to be done. I have 3 daughters, I want them to have very clear explanations about sex, realistic, non fluffy ideas, I don't want to talk it to death but I don't want there to be any room for misconceptions (no pun intended)

With regards to periods I just told them when you get to a certain age, your body gets ready incase you have a baby, it gathers together bits of blood, tissue, a bit like making a nest and if a baby isn't made when you have sex, your body needs to get rid of the blood, bits and pieces, it has go somewhere and that's your period.

You sound like a fab mum Wiggles - thank you for your advice

Wow! Wiggles, that is excellent. What other tips can you give us?

Just do it before the school does it! In My children's school's case that meant by Easter in year 6.

None , being able to talk about sex is my payback for have terrible sleepers!

DD2 asked me a few years ago "Does everyone masturbate?" (This following a conversation about this being something you do in private, not on the sofa when you have visitors, and you are watching Dr Who.) So being the modern parent, I said "Yes, everyone does." I wasn't prepared for the follow up question though: "Even Nanna?"

Thanks wiggles. I ordered the book recommended but it looked like it was about puberty. Anyway it'll be a good place to start. I don't want to make a big deal but do want it covered in a no nonsense way.

Actually I think I will talk to ds1 first on his own. Then ds2 doesn't have a chance to revel in it all at ds1's expense and ds1 can say he's known for 'ages' when I get round to telling the little ones.