The first 6 weeks- how much did you do?

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My DD is just over 5 weeks old. Where I live, there are lots of coffee mornings, baby groups and opportunities to meet people. Before my DD arrived, I had planned to be out and about, meeting other mums and going to as many activities as possible. But in reality, it seems this was overly ambitious and I find it hard to get us up, fed, dressed and out to any activity with a fixed start time. If I'm honest, I am tired and don't feel like socialising and I'm inclined to stay in all day every day, trying to catch some sleep when I can... but at the same time, I then beat myself up for not making more effort. Also after a full day at home, I feel restless and unhealthy. Going out for walks isn't an option as I live overseas in an extremely hot country (so any trips out are in the car, to coffee shops, supermarket, malls etc). I know I'm probably putting too much pressure on myself and even though I know this, I really am struggling. I think it might help to hear how much or little others did during their first 6 weeks with a newborn, to know I'm not alone!

Not very much at all. So I'm the same as you.

I gradually started doing a few trips to the shops/groups and stuff. I would say by about 16 weeks I had something on about 4 or5 days a week. I usually stuck to doing one thing a day. That was plenty for me.
Don't push yourself too much.

Until baby is crawling baby groups are more about you socializing than baby. If you're happy at home, that's fine. Only join one or two groups if you feel lonely and hanker after meeting people.

Groups become more important for the child from 6 to 12 months

I did loads but that was because I enjoyed being sociable. The baby was happy wherever and slept through most thing til about 3 or 4 months. Later I became more fussy about which ones we bothered with as I was getting bored of them and enjoyed spending time alone with the baby.

I tired to do too much and be super mum then ended up knackered. Potter about the house, enjoy your baby and if you're showered and dressed before midday that's am achievement! Congratulations

Tried, not tired- that's how I felt!!

I am very similar to you, I have a 9 week old and have only enjoyed taking her out recently. We have a group that we go to on Tuesday mornings which I really psyche myself up for, and then come home and just sleep in the afternoon. I walk her the shops and pootle around town sometimes for a half hour (we live right in the centre), but feel so relieved when we get home. It's knackering having a newborn. I downloaded the '7 minute workout' app on my iPhone and I sometimes do that if in feeling sluggish and unhealthy (you have to work up to it though as it is hardcore).

Don't worry, the way I see it is - it's our job simply to nourish and nurture the baby for the first few months. Plenty of time for socialising down the line.

Ive never done a toddler or playgroup.type thing. The first two weeks were me physically recovering and feilding all the visits from well meaning friends and relatives. Once dh went back to work I had a bit of a routine but only did a couple of outings - one a day tk buy dinner for that evening and another to either my mums (five doors down) or a friends house. I was always home for Pointless at five fifteen

I fed and napped dd to a schedule from day one, so was happy to just mooch round places rather than attend any set groups or gatherings (plus the thought of a toddler group made me bleurgh)

With ds1 I went out most mornings to groups, friends, shopping etc. I think, as I had been used to working, I needed something to do. Ds1 was an easy baby and slept well at night although was awake a lot in the day so I didn't really need to catch up on sleep and it was easier to go out.

With ds2 I was out every morning as ds1 (22.5 months when ds2 was born) had activities every day. Ds2 was not an easy baby and ds1 was a hideous very active toddler so catching up on sleep was not an option and I had to go out to stay awake.

Ds1 was almost 11 and ds2 9 when ds3 was born and it was the school summer holidays so, apart from walks to the park or a bit of shopping, we tended to stay home and chill. I didn't bother with groups in the same way And we just invited friends to bring cake round.

Just do whatever you feel suits you best.

Do you know anyone who you can invite over to your house. It is easier in your own home when they are tiny. The best is a friend without kids who can come over and take the baby and you can have a coffee, e.g. ex work colleagues. Other peoples babies do make it all more tiring.

Or can you drive to the mall and have a browse round and if the baby falls asleep in the pram then grab a coffee and read a magazine. It may help to get out of the house.

I was the same. In fact I gave myself 6 weeks before I did anything much at all. Like you I felt guilty like I should be doing more! I mainly slept, breastfed and ate!

I did far, far too much - ended up with severe PND, and resenting my beautiful baby. Take your time, enjoy your wee one and don't try and be the master of it all.

I didn't do anything for the first 6 weeks but then went on a little holiday with all my family which made me think I could manage to get out and about a bit more so I started going to some groups and things. As DD has got bigger I find it easier and less tiring to go out to things than to try and entertain her on my own all day and I have found it helpful sharing experiences and tips with other first time mums. We didn't know what to do with ourselves when all the groups stopped over the summer but we kept on meeting at each others' houses instead.

I went out for a 30min walk and did very basic housework each day and did some little bits of work from home but I'd had a straightforward pregnancy and birth and lucked out with a very very sleepy baby.
Just concentrat on doing the basics and if or when you feel like it maybe meet up with a friend for coffee. I never did play groups until about 10months there didn't seem any point.

It totally varies. I was almost the last in my NCT group to have my baby, so they had been socialising for weeks already and I was desperate to join in! So as soon as paternity leave was over, I was out with them, c-section not withstanding! But we were a sociable group and hung out a lot.

Others I know did very little at the start.

It's whatever you want and are happy with. As others said, early on, going out is for you rather than baby!

The first six weeks are very hard- I was proud if I even managed to get dressed!! Go easy on yourself you don't need to be superwoman xx

I did fuck all for the first few weeks. Sleeping, eating, staring at DD in mesmerised wonder, that's about it iirc.

I have a dog that needed walked so that got me out the house for an hour a day pushing dd in her pushchair around the park. Maybe just going for a short walk a day would help you feel better?

I did do a parenting group once a week from about 8 weeks I think, more for my benefit than dd's, she usually slept through it!

Don't feel pressured to do too much too soon.

Ds1 saw friends from not and compared notes about the shock of parenthood. Didn't sleep during the day and tried to be superwoman.

Ds2, aside from getting up and dressed to let the builders in, slept as much as I could and enjoyed the hours he slept.

Do it at your own pace, but don't get down. It's good to make friends, but don't bust a gut.

Also, try and get some sleep!

I have a 16 week old and haven't got to a baby group yet! By the time I was ready it was the summer hold and they all stopped. We have just last week started swimming lessons and I am going to try to get to a baby group this week.

I've not got friends with babies either, but have kept myself entertained pretty well somehow!

I'd like to make some friends with similar age babies though, so fingers crossed I'll meet some nice people.

Good luck!

I went for a mega long walk each day had a beach holiday with DS1 when he was 10 weeks so on a mission to get in shape and that was it.

Thanks for all the replies! Today was a hard day with failed attempts at sleeping and a vomity baby, in my haze of tiredness I wondered if I would ever go out again. We have a hospital appointment on Tuesday so will psyche myself up for that and hope DD sleeps through the half hour car journey each way....

DS - I assumed I would sit on my arse breastfeeding and watching Jeremy Kyle for the first 8 weeks. Turns out I went out almost every day (to a bf group, and then coffee dates with the mums I met there, baby group etc...) and that I couldn't bear being home alone with a baby. I love my own company, just not with a baby. I sometimes managed an afternoon nap, but ds was pretty good at sleeping at night (up every 2 hours but always straight back to sleep)

DD - Throughout paternity leave I slept when dd slept and slept and chilled out on the 1 day per week ds went to the childminder. Or go for coffee and cake just the 2 of us. I watched a lot of netflix in peace. She's 7 months now so quiet coffee & cake time is almost over. Anyway, not been or going near any baby groups for a while. Our social life still revolves around ds and we meet friends 1-3 times per week. Luckily a few friends have no 2 as well. I still try and grab some naps now even though both are good sleepers. I just like naps.

I stayed home for 16 weeks after difficult birth. I then focused on meeting people as i was in my stride with baby- soon made tons of friends so don't worry - you have plenty of time for that!
I think it is hard not to feel guilty, whatever you decide to do. Our expectations of what kind of mum we will be are so strong before we have kids, not that the baby cares what it is doing at 5 weeks! To be honest its much better to bond now and socialise later. And baby will be older and will be less suseptible around people with coughs etc.

For DD1 I was exactly the same, it took an age to do anything. The trick really is to have your nappy bag and change of clothes ready to take at a moments notice. If you are breastfeeding get how you will go about doing this whilst out and about sorted, so you feel at ease doing it, I have recently breastfed looking in a mirror to check out exactly what other people see of me when they look at me.

There is no pressure though to leave the house, do it when you are ready, and really savour this, since if you have any more children, you are unlikely to be able to have this time of just be able to stay in if you want to.

I love being out and about since now I have more than one, it is just easier to not have the others bouncing off the walls.

Congratulations by the way.