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Original poster

The first 6 weeks- how much did you do?

71 replies

Tallblue · 21/09/2014 16:19

My DD is just over 5 weeks old. Where I live, there are lots of coffee mornings, baby groups and opportunities to meet people. Before my DD arrived, I had planned to be out and about, meeting other mums and going to as many activities as possible. But in reality, it seems this was overly ambitious and I find it hard to get us up, fed, dressed and out to any activity with a fixed start time. If I'm honest, I am tired and don't feel like socialising and I'm inclined to stay in all day every day, trying to catch some sleep when I can... but at the same time, I then beat myself up for not making more effort. Also after a full day at home, I feel restless and unhealthy. Going out for walks isn't an option as I live overseas in an extremely hot country (so any trips out are in the car, to coffee shops, supermarket, malls etc). I know I'm probably putting too much pressure on myself and even though I know this, I really am struggling. I think it might help to hear how much or little others did during their first 6 weeks with a newborn, to know I'm not alone!

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OliviaRinHerts · 21/09/2014 21:01

I've got a five week old and to be honest I did too much. My mum came over from Spain but she is 70 and she treated her stay like a holiday so wanted to be out and about. I was glad when she went back as I wanted to veg out at home. As someone else said, if I get out of bed before 12 then that is an achievement. Obviously if you have apts to go to that is a reason to go out but I try and arrange things for the afternoon so I'm not under pressure. BUT do what works for you. Even if it just popping to the shops. As a way of saving money I am going to start going to the shops every few days and buy the groceries I need. Just listen to your body and good luck

PumpkinPie2013 · 21/09/2014 21:34

Not a lot

I'd had a very long labour and an emergency c - section so the first 6 weeks were mainly recovering.

I couldn't drive for 6 weeks and live in the middle of nowhere plus it was late November/early December and freezing so going out wad pretty impossible without DH.

I went to register ds birth, baby clinic and with DH into our work on the last day before the Christmas break and that's about it.

From 6 weeks I went to a local group - more for me initially than ds and a session at the children's centre. As he got older we went to a music session each week as well.

Otherwise I just enjoyed pottering about, going for walks, playing at home and having cuddles

Don't feel you have to rush out to go to things. Just take your time and enjoy - baby won't mind at all

TheJourney22 · 21/09/2014 21:36

Cried. I cried for the first 6 Months!!!

Go easy on yourself :) you have plenty of time to "do things" but try & make friends, other people's houses or people coming to you. But I hated visitors for the first 8 weeks too!

It's tough - but slowly you will build a great supportive network

Congratulations! x

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Peregrin · 21/09/2014 21:39

I was going to say I did nothing at all, but I did go for walks outside with the baby. Purely in the hope he'd finally fall asleep while strapped onto my sleep deprived body I was dragging around the neighbourhood. The first time I did something more than that was when DS was around 2.5 months old.

catnipkitty · 21/09/2014 21:46

With DD1 just got together with a few friends from ante-natal groups, but was struggling with bf for first 2 weeks so hardly did anything.

With DD twins, DD1 was 1 year old and I was more or less house bound for a few months unless I had someone to come out with me, help puSh buggies, feed and change nappies. Luckily it was spring and summer so we could enjoy the garden!

StepDoor · 21/09/2014 21:57

Honestly, nothing much. My stitches were still healing and I was exhausted from the sleep deprivation and in pain from breastfeeding.

strawberrybubblegum · 21/09/2014 22:29

5 weeks is still really, really tiny. You have plenty of time to get out and socialise. I've just posted the same on another thread: the only thing you should be doing just now is having whole days in bed cuddling with your baby - with both you and your DD still in pyjamas, and only getting up to get food left in the fridge for you by your OH!

Seriously, your baby doesn't benefit from groups yet, so unless you actually want to go out then don't.

Things I remember from those early days:

When DD was 3 weeks old I spent the entire day trying to get out of the house to go to the Health Visitors clinic - and failed. It was one long cycle of feed, vomit-then-change, try-to-stop-DD-screaming, nappy change, feed... I struggled to leave her for the 2 minutes needed to put the nappy bag together, and I was intimidated by the car seat. I finally got to the clinic the following day. Oh, and I wasn't even alone - my mum was staying with me at the time.
When DD was 4 weeks old and I managed to get to the shop at the end of the road to buy a card for DH, I was so proud of myself that I sent him a photo of us in front of the shop!
My lovely neighbour told me that in the early days she considered the day a success if she'd managed to put a wash on and go for a walk. I asked her whether she meant both on the same day.

Some people do get out and about very soon after the birth, and that's great. But if you don't feel like it, then there's absolutely nothing to be gained from it.

In a few months time, everything will be much easier. Without even realising it, you'll have got into a rythme with your baby, and you'll start going out more - regardless of what you've done for these first short few weeks. You have years of baby/toddler classes ahead of you, but only a short while to enjoy lying in bed cuddling and chatting with your baby in your own little bubble. Soon she'll be way too wriggly!

wigglylines · 21/09/2014 23:35

When I had my first baby, a good friend told me "if you manage to do even one thing a day when you have a young baby, you're doing amazingly well" and by one thing, she meant a shower, making lunch or getting to the corner shop, nothing so ambitious as baby groups. It was good advice and gave me permission to just be, and find my way.

It is would probably be a good idea to reach out and find a network of mum friends at some point. But plenty of time for that. Personally I made a big effort to meet other mums when we moved town when DS was 18 months, and that worked well for me.

It sounds like you're doing brilliantly, please don't be so hard on yourself.

TheGirlAtTheRockShow · 22/09/2014 02:58

I went to first baby group at 10 weeks.
At 6 weeks we went to visit family/friend (3 hours drive away). I HATED it. Too much for me so soon. I wish we'd stayed home and delayed the trip couple weeks, but had to fit around DH leave.
Give yourself a break, you're still recovering.

CheesyBadger · 22/09/2014 03:45

I did nothing at all, then at about 8 weeks started 1 baby group on a Monday afternoon. I was the same as you but the reality is very different. Just look after yourself and so what you need to

AveryJessup · 22/09/2014 03:50

The first six weeks is all about postnatal recovery and getting used to the baby e.g. breastfeeding etc in my book. There's no need to pressurize yourself to get out and about in the early days. If you feel up to it, go ahead, but I wouldn't force it.

The baby doesn't care about getting out at that age so getting out is really just about your own sanity at that point. Having said that we did take our DS out on two long trips to visit relatives when he was 8 weeks and under but they were unavoidable trips and I would rather have not bothered, looking back! I also did a few meet-ups and walks with friends but it wasn't more than once a week.

There'll be plenty of time for baby groups and meet-ups later on when you have more energy and the baby is stronger. Believe me when you have a toddler (if you are still home full-time) you will have no choice but to get out of the house every day of the week and stay active, even if you're bone-tired or sick so make the most of the housebound time while you can!

funnyperson · 22/09/2014 04:00

I think you will feel differently in a few , even two weeks time when baby is three months old! You both do need to get to get out in the fresh air once a day though or you will both become vitamin d deficient.

Reastie · 22/09/2014 08:15

I barely did anything for the first month or so. I had a csection so couldn't drive and don't live anywhere near any activities to walk to. I was happy at home though, it took me a good month to feel confident enough about bfeeding DD to contemplate doing it out of the house.

I recall I went to a bfing drop in place in the first couple of weeks, but, other than that, just at home, walking DD in the buggy or over to my Mums. Tbh I was so exhausted and getting to grips with everything it just went in a haze.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 22/09/2014 12:22

I had a pretty straightforward birth with ds1, just a bit of internal tearing that was stitched up in theatre.

I went to bf group at 10 days and started post natal physio classes at 3 weeks. From those, I found out about baby massage and met some lovely people and we started meeting at each other's houses for coffee and cake.

It was similar with ds2, though things had to be planned around ds1's days at nursery (we chose to keep him there a couple of days a week).

There is plenty of time to get out and about, but I was worried that if I put off doing it for too long it would become a really big thing, when actually it wasn't at all.

TarkaTheOtter · 22/09/2014 12:28

It's still such early days. Give yourself a chance to adjust. At the moment you can just enjoy sitting and watching tv because your baby just wants to be fed and close to you.
In a few months your baby will be more alert and require a bit more entertaining and then it is worth getting out and about because it tends to stop them whinging and keeps you sane.

Cupcakes123 · 22/09/2014 12:34

I went to a rather large shopping centre the day after DS was born. It was the most stupid thing I've ever done
He's now 5 weeks and I've popped into town once and made it to dr's/midwife/health visitor appts.

When DP is here, it's much easier and we actually leave the house but the logistics of just baby and I leaving escaping the house are rather stressful

Planning to leave the house this afternoon though :) I need to walk off the baby weight!

AggressiveBunting · 22/09/2014 12:59

I used to go to a baby group that was on a drop in basis one afternoon a week (3 hrs and you could go anytime within that). They used to do baby weighing and had a bf counsellor. That was quite nice. Then I also had 4 or 5 friends who had babies the same age (we met at pre-natal yoga) and we used to hang out together quite a lot and drink tea. I walked a fair bit as well with the pram.

SaltySeaBird · 22/09/2014 14:17

It's down to you!

I personally did lots and went to every baby group I could because I only had six actual weeks of maternity leave (which in hindsight was ridiculous but I'd probably have to do it again or risk not keeping my job).

Other friends didn't venture out until after three months.

Now as two year olds all the children seem equally happy, as parents we all somehow met and made friendships at some point along the way so I'd say it really doesn't matter!

ContactIssue · 22/09/2014 15:27

I didn't do an awful lot either. If I was up, showered and dressed before lunch time, then I was up 'early'. I slept when DS slept (to an extent).

We went for our walks in the afternoon/evening (summer baby). I would do things with friends after lunch as well, very rarely before.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 22/09/2014 16:00

I think I counted it as a successful day if I'd had a shower before 5pm and eaten something besides biscuits.

6-8 weeks was a turning point for me with both of them. They start to have bigger feeds, go longer between feeds and sleep a little longer. You start to feel a little bit more human.

Do you know anyone who can come to you?

Daftsocks · 22/09/2014 16:06

6 weeks? I went to town occasionally to buy food. Um. I was out and about in my (big) garden but didn't venture too far really. Then I started thinking about baby groups (no friends with kids) and they'd all stopped for the summer! Did get quite adventurous once I'd mastered breastfeeding and was happy doing it in public but only roaming around town really. Started baby group this week at 16 weeks!

As mentioned already, when they're very young it's hard to go to something that starts at 10am when you don't know what time they're going to wake up/nap/feed/puke etc. So go easy, it gets easier

skylark2 · 22/09/2014 18:00

I'd had a C-section so had been strongly advised to walk (and was banned from driving for 6 weeks anyway).

I didn't go to any groups at all until she was 6 months old. Our exciting weekly outing was to baby clinic to get her weighed. The HV kept telling me I didn't need to bring her every week as she was doing fine - looking back I should probably have admitted that I was lonely.

mrsmilkymoo · 22/09/2014 18:19

Dd has just turned 7 weeks and we haven't been to any baby groups yet. I want to but am a bit nervous and just need to muster up enough courage! I don't drive so most days we've been out for a walk with the pram. Not really anywhere exciting, just around the local area, and along the river front. I do want to do more but am a bit scared about breastfeeding in public and also about taking the pram on a bus -any tips?

Greengrow · 22/09/2014 21:43

Work. I took 2 weeks off in all and then went back full time so by 5 weeks had done 3 weeks of full time work. Worked really well for the family baby and everyone.

winkywinkola · 22/09/2014 21:48

I did nothing apart from feed, sleep, relax, have family and friends over. Loved it.

And it worked really well for all my babies and family.

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