Share with me right now - What are the strategies for not saying the same thing at least 3 times to your children?

[Pancakeflipper]

oh help. We are in rut. I have to repeat myself 3 times ( the last time is turning into a shout) for the children to do anything e.g. brush teeth, get dressed for school, brush hair, get school coat etc..

I am utterly sick of hearing my own voice. I am getting really frustrated and it's resulting in arguments between us.

My children are lovely ( 9 and 6) but I am a dragon.

I've started saying clearly 'I'm not going to say it again, we're leaving at 8.30. Before then you need to have shoes on/teeth brushed etc'. Only works if they care about going to school with dirty teeth/no shoes! Mine do, they hate it when I say that so it works!

when I was doing my teacher training we learned that if you give children a two part instruction or piece of information, eg. We're going to do XYZ and then it's lunchtime, they only really take in the second thing and ignore / phase out the first (and so only respond to / do the second thing) ! Now of course that's not going to apply to every child, every time, but maybe the principle might help in your situation?

I've just started removing things that are a distraction - with a look.

And I count - 2nd time, why am I saying this 3 times etc.

I have been explaining to my 2 (6 &3) that we don't get much time together and I want our time together to be a happy time, not a grumpy Mummy time. And that brushing teeth/bedtime/getting ready for school time isn't the time for silly business but its a time for "getting on with the job" - I do think this is slowly sinking in.

I'm sick of the sound of my own voice too!!

I have a similar thing with DS (nearly 7) at bedtime where I'm constantly nagging him to go upstairs, get undressed, brush his teeth etc etc. It's just a torrent of instructions and not pleasant for either of us!

The other night after dinner I told him that I would not be telling him to do anything between then and bedtime and the quicker he got himself ready for bed, the longer he'd have for story.

It worked, I was more relaxed, he was not relying on me nagging him to get anything done and took some responsibily for himself and he was still in bed at the usual time.

Just stop nagging, they are old enough to know what the getting ready for school routine is, try to let them get on with it.

I could have written your post! Some great responses here. Will be trying tonight!

The only thing I have found that vaguely works is not allowing anything fun until it's all done. So they can watch TV before we leave but not until they are dressed/teeth/beds made/hair done. If any of it isnt done, no TV.

I have started saying nothing sweet that day if they don't clean their teeth other than school dessert. They also get a special 'golden ball' everyday I don't need to nag any of them (5,5,8) and when they get 6 balls they get a treat each like a magazine or a cheap DVD or a lego minifigure. I remind them of the 'golden ball' but we haven't managed to get even ONE this week - grrrrrr...

I am wondering if I should do a list and stick it to their bedroom wall...

Get dressed (including socks!)
Clean teeth
Shoes
Coat
Pack schoolbag
Packed lunch/ water bottle
Leave the house

Maybe if they look at it often enough....I feel your pain though.

Mine also fight a lot (especially if one is ready and waiting on the others) so it is a case of getting ready as quickly as possible and then reading/ watching TV/ drawing till we need to leave.

I am wondering about that list idea now...

Think I will try out the BeCool counting tactic first ( because it seems easy - no offense BeCool - but I like easy.).

Thank you for sharing. I am finding it draining and feeling like crap mum at the moment.

this isn't currently working for us but last term I printed out 5 things I expected the dc to do in the morning with pictures. I then printed out a blank grid (well 4).

If they did each if the 5 things, they got a sticker. Full row of stickers, they got a prize from my stash (bits of tat/Haribo/hair clips etc).

It worked brilliantly last term, I just haven't been arsed to push it this term!

No telly, iPods, ds's etc until they are ready to walk out the front door