Why is taking care of babies always optional for husbands

[dcs27]

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QTpie, i am a manager and engineer as well. . But i guess it's easier to work with colleagues than with hubbies at times. . i guess it's my fault as well cos i consider home being my front. . and then at times if anyone picks fault in my cleaning etc it irritates me a lot. i know it sounds crazy but many a days by the time i am finished work cleaning the dishes kitchen etc. it gets 1 or 2 o clock. But the day still starts at 6. ..
party i am working on it thanks girls

I think different things work well for different families. My DH has never done any type of baby never changed a nappy or fed or bathed any of the children when they were little - still does the bare minimum now. In all honesty if I knew now what he was going to be like as part of a family unit I probably wouldn't have chosen him to be my partner/husband/father to my children but I made that choice and I am not just going to walk away. As a husband he is fantastic but as a father he isn't the best. He has issues and has OCD and possible aspergers. I can never go out or have my own life without the children because of his coping mechanism. However he is the most unlaziest person I know and he is always busy doing something to benefit the family- oh and he does all the housework laundry and most of the cooking! Also from the end of September I have a new job and he HAS to get the kids to school which means he cant wash up or hoover until he is back from the school run- it is going to be so so hard for him as he has to get them ready and put them first as I will not be there to do it but I hope he manages and if he doesn't then I think I will re -evaluate our relationship!

It's not optional. A dad who needs asking/telling/nagging to do his fair share is not much of a dad or partner IMHO. The 'men don't notice what needs doing' excuse is just that, an excuse, and saying all men are like that does all the unselfish, fully involved dads a massive disservice.
Yes, many men (and women) have been brought up by mums who did everything and dads who did nothing (often peddled as another reason/excuse for lazy fathering), but they are grown ups now and can make their own choices. A dad that doesn't step up and take responsibility is selfishly choosing an easy life.