You know you're a mum when you.....

[guineapig2014]

....Just that really. Please cheer me up after a hard day at work!!

Can poo with an audience.

When you find yourself humming along to some terrible tune from cbeebies long after the children have gone to bed.

When a relaxing evening is sewing name labels into endless pieces of uniform.

When you can't find the phone long after the children has gone to bed as you hid it hours earlier to stop your baby from trying to chew it and you've forgotten where you put it.

Flanjabelle

You changed the baby's romper after it got blood on it when you nicked her finger cutting her nails, but you didn't change your own tshirt.

When you can recite classics such as, That's not my Kitten/Dragon/Monkey/Whatever or Percy gets Stuck without actually having to look at the pages.

When you find yourself laughing at Peppa Pig and Ben & Holly, even when the dc have left the room.

When you carry a pack of baby wipes around everywhere you go, even when you don't have your kids with you, because they're like the ultimate cleaning implement.

When your handbag is now a small rucksack emblazoned with Thomas the Tank Engine.

You did what you vow you never would and spit on a hanky to wipe a mark off an unsuspecting dirty face

When you open your mouth and your mother comes out.

Your breast has been flashed in the supermarket.

You have been out in public with sick/wee/poo on you.

Your handbag is now more like a suitcase.

When you find yourself humming peppa pig or in the night garden. At work.
When someone says : there's no such thing as a.. and out comes Gru-ffa-looooo! out of your mouth. Not good! Makes you look derranged. You, and your other colleague with age appropriate child.

When you can't leave ANY room without picking something up.

You shine a torch up your child's arose to check for worms ....oh yes I did this today.

Arse

Bed

When you put your hand out to hold your friends hand to cross the road

The rocking thing definitely
Licking your finger to wipe their face
Obsessing over their bowel movements (me ATM, it's been a week)
Wipes for EVERYTHING
constantly wiping dribble
Picking bogeys
Kissing them 25447391 times a day
Speaking in a baby voice all the time
Realising your world revolves around them

Love it LEM!

Animal Fair is on a constant loop in your head --fecking jungle baby gym-

Using the toilet alone is classed as 'me time'

You've got a special brush for getting dog shit off your buggy wheels.

(I do love being a Mum - honest!)

You go to the supermarket on a Saturday aft or Sunday morning for a rest. Same as holidays being harder work than your actual job.

You know when your a mummy when you get...

Sicked on
Pooed on
Weed on
Dribbled on

And also, one of my personal favourites...when my LO sneezes in my face.

But you just don't mind because you're a mummy!

...think nothing of appearing in public with baby sick in your hair, are used to having your bowel movements described in great detail in a penetrating voice in public toilets, find yourself enthusiastically singing the Postman Pat theme tune or loudly saying 'oooh, those bananas look lovely, look at that melon, mmmmm I like the look of those strawberries' in the supermarket when you are unaccompanied by any children...

They were great thanks everyone
X

95 percent of your pictures on your phone are of ds, and the other 5 percent are of dh/dm/df with ds

Can achieve a previously-unbelievable amount in one hour, alone.

Know every single character from Thomas and Friends.

Find yourself automatically heading for the children's section in clothes shops.

You know when your a mum when:

You go out looking like crap and not caring.
DP and DS have majority of the bed.
None of your clothes fit you (either too big or way too tight).
You rock your hips when standing still, even though your not holding DS.
Go to work and find countless baby bits in pockets/handbag.
Hygiene goes out the window cos your too tired.
Have baby food smeared all over your new top :(

Many many more.
Loving this thread :)

The only Pen in your bag is Thomas.
You start singing the wheels on the bus, on the bus, when you haven't got the dc.
Me and my friend once did the grabbing of hands at traffic lights simultaneously.

All of the above!

Going out to check on a relatives house to check on it and feed the fish while they are away, then nipping to the shops, realising at the checkout that you are still in your slippers!! Doh!

Watching your childs favourite programme so many times you know ALL the words!

When you go into a clothes shop such as primark with some (rare) spare pennies, determined to buy the boots you so desperately need, and come away with new clothes for your 3 children instead, I can put up with leaky trainers another month or 3 can't I?

When despite all the ups and downs, you love your (exhausted) life and wouldn't change a thing