Stay at home mums with kids at school, why dont they get jobs??

[sleepinbeauty]

Just a bit hacked off with mums at school, they moan about having no life away from their kids/ not much money, yet they all seem to refuse to get jobs or careers!
why do some women just want to do sweet FA all day when their kids are at school? They seem content for their husbands to slog their guts out at work while they drink cups of tea and watch daytime tv! Dont get it! i think its called laziness??

oh, she is very well cared for, as are most children in childcare IMO.

I could do a much better job myself (sorry MIL!) but I have to work so what do you do? Knash your teeth and worry about something you can't do anything about OR deal with it and move on?

Move on!

LOL at thinking this was a cod piss-taking thread. I did too!

(to anniemac)

Divorce, Reading area. Guess I won't be seeing you in court then...

Apparently I work in Accounts but can mainly be found on here.

Ahem.

cheers pm I am terrible for saying what is on my mind without thinking about all the implications first these threads kind of invite that... all I was really saying is that all the work sahm's do whether their kids are at school or not still has to be done by someone be it the working mum still doing all the housework as well or both the parents, or someone else paid to do it - it bothers me such important work is undervalued - probably cause i felt more valued by society when i was a transport planner but feel what i do now is much more important... iyswim

should add the important work is not just the housework but everything childcare, household accounts everything required to raise a kid in this crazy world - housework is at the bottom of the list in my world at the mo

Yes I do see what you mean and I feel it's a terrible indictment of the society that we live in that SAHMs are not valued for the important job they do and that WOHMs are made to feel that they are compromising the welfare of their children.

Gee thanks dino

Oh you're right, best book the boys into after school club

SHITE there is no after school club

Buggered then.

So CAPITALS do work. About 9 years ago I knew this guy at work who used to say things like 'I'm proud that my wife stays at home and that we survive on my income'. He had three kids and two jobs. I used to think it was a little strange the way he said this with his chest puffed out.

Anyway fast forward to present day and he says that it was all a pile of shite and he had hated it. It was only cos I moaned about the worry that he opened up. He also said that he felt trapped in a job as a result and resented his wife for it all. He was not the only man who expressed sentiments like that to me. I used to work in a very male environment so had lots of male friends. I always suspected though that while they voiced their misgivings they also couldn't understand my DP.

Dros - yes, my partner did make twitchy noises when I used to say I didn't want to go back to work. (Wasn't that I wanted to stay at home and look after teh baby as such, just didn't want to work ) And when I was a single parent, I felt overwhelmed at being teh sole breadwinner especially when there was teh usual regular talks of cutbacks at work. Would feel very uncomfortable adding that pressure on to him.

And most children aren't brought up by strangers - what a wierd comment. You do actually get to know your childminders etc.

MP- same thing happmned to my MIL who DOES work, but couldn't afford to kep up the mortgage payments and will eventually lose everything anyway. Being in a 'job' is not a guarantee of anything much, and unfortunately not everybody does (or can) have a great, well paid fulfilling job. For every high flyer, there's gonna be someone selling her tampax in tesco. (no offence to shop workers, wiped shite off arses for a living for years and it don't get worse than that)

i think you are really lucky OO having a MIL who is willing to look after your dd's, i really do. i dont have anyone like that

i would maybe, ask my mum if she could take the girls 1 or 2 days a week, if i had to get a job, but she works FT herself so its not even an option

there is no way, in the line of work that i do, that i would come out with a penny of my wages after paying for childcare for 2 dd's

my wages wouldnt even cover a nursery, no point in working

Actually, I never did get to know the nursery workers at my DD's nursery. Haven't got a clue what any of them are like really, what their values are, what their interests are. Simply haven't got a clue. I think they'd have thought I was wierd and nosey if I'd started asking.

i think my mother is the only person in the world apart from dh obviously who i would ask to care for my dd's while i worked

she keeps telling me she retires in 7 yrs

she cant wait for the girls to go to hers after school for tea, so ill probably get a job, whether i like it or not!

So SIB - what do you do all day then?

I am a SAHM and I have a full time job raising my two lovely children, keeping the house clean & tidy, feeding the family and basically ensuring that they grow into happy healthy adults.

Strange, it used to be considered one of the most important jobs - bringing up children. I don't moan about my life - I've worked full-time for over twenty years before I had my family and now I'm lucky enough to be in a position to stay at home and enjoy them!!!

Perhaps you're just a bit jealous of not being able to spend time with your family

oh my gosh, only just logged on and now there are 500+ postings! remind me to never voice a small question again! i obviously rubbed a few people up the wrong way with my questions.

AND BY THE WAY, I WASNT TALKING ABOUT STAY AT HOME MUMS IN GENERAL, I WAS REFERRING TO THOSE WITH KIDS AT SCHOOL!!
And its not just a money thing, just some women seem to have no drive , no ambition, no bloody interests outside their children .

Sleep it's not just women. I know a couple where he is the SAHP and she is fairly ambitious. She assumes that he will work when 3yr old is in school. He has other ideas(he told me). He spends all his time in a fantasy world of computer games while his 3yr old watches TV and freely admits that he thinks the world of work sucks (have to agree with him on that). 3yr old now spends 5 mornings at pre- school but the house is still a mess.

Anyway she comes home to a house that is not clean to children that have not been interacted with and she cannot fathom why he has no get up and go.

Perhaps these women have had the drive and ambition before children, but having children changed their idea about what was important in their lives.

As I said earlier that is how you see them they may think you are a ambitious, self centred so&so, who dumps her children anywhere, should never have had them as you are so far up your own bum. See it is not very nice when people make assumptions.

Also perhaps these women who have no drive or ambition as you say , feel comftable in the fact they wish to care for their children , and feel quite secure in themselves and feel that they have nothing to prove to anybody.

Do you have any intrestes outside work SB by the way ?