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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving my child at nursery

11 replies

Lucybug · 20/09/2006 09:58

I just wondered if anyone had any advise on leaving your child at nursery. I have a 3 year old ds who started nursery in March. I am just finding it a real stuggle leaving him in the morning. He is only there for two hours in the morning but he has started to cry before we even get there and I have to kind of kiss him, hug him then run!
It breaks my heart though...I just feel that he really hasn't settled since he started and I'm not sure whether to keep him going.....any advice???

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sugarfree · 20/09/2006 10:05

I had this with Ds2 the whole time he was at pre-school.Quite often used to come away in tears myself.Always did the kiss,hug and leave thing too,otherwise you're just prolonging the agony.
Ds3 has just started and so far no problems but I did vow that if he didn't settle I would take him out and try again in a year.
Sorry that's not alot of use is it? Is he fine after you've gone?Does he settle for the rest of the session?Sometimes I think the pre-start whinge becomes a habit tbh.

cardy · 20/09/2006 10:09

I think this is quite common. Does he settle quickly after you have gone?

My dd is like this sometimes. What seems to have helped is that she has a preference for one of the nursery nurses so that when we arrive we make our way straight to her...she usually tells her something exciting that we have already planned (e.g. what she had for breakfast, what she saw on the way to nursery etc.). This seems to distract her. I then actually hand her over to her say goodbye, kiss 'see you later'. I try to do the same thing each time for consistency and don't drag it out too long.

If it is particulary bad I hang around outside her room for a couple of minutes and peep in without her seeing me. She is usually happily playing by this point.

Original poster

Lucybug · 20/09/2006 10:11

Sometimes he is fine when I've gone, other times the teacher says he was quiet and clingy all morning. He asks them when I'm coming back a lot too. He has days when he's absolutely fine and hardly bats an eye lid when I go, but other days its a nightmare. I just feel that if he doesn't go, school will be a shock for him, and most of the children with him at nursery will be going up with him to school. My ds was never like this at all, she went no trouble and is now up at the primary school with no worries at all. I guess he's the sensitive one!!

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sugarfree · 20/09/2006 10:18

If it's any consolation Lucy,DS2 was absolutely fine starting school and I had been totally dreading it.

(I've got issues with him at school now (Yr 2) but that's a whole nother thread)

Original poster

Lucybug · 20/09/2006 10:20

Thanks...I'll just keep at it then! It's just a nightmare isn't it!

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sugarfree · 20/09/2006 10:22

Horrible feeling,I used to wake up those mornings dreading it,and be on pins the whole time he was there.

cardy · 20/09/2006 10:23

Personally I would stick with it. Going to nursery before school with some of the children who he will go to school with should help in the long term.

When you ask him about it does he say he likes it? What does he say when you ask why he crys?

Just a stab in the drak but could the days that he is more clingy be down to something completely unrelated? Could he bit hungry/tired My dd1 gets very clingy when she is hungry.

Original poster

Lucybug · 20/09/2006 10:46

hmm.....he could well be coming down with something, he's been off his food and my 1 year old dd has just got over chicken pox....i thought my other two had got away with it, as it was a couple of weeks ago dd recovered.
he does say he likes it generally... until it actually comes down to it!

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CheesyFeet · 20/09/2006 11:03

Lucybug, I think the incubation period for chickenpox is a couple of weeks - could well be the reason!

My dd is very happy at her nursery, she often cries when I leave her but as soon as I'm out of sight she's fine. I can hear her at the front door and peep at her through a window and she's playing happily.

Does he go every morning?

scotlou · 20/09/2006 11:27

My ds never liked nursery - he was there 2 days a week from the age of 2. Conversely, he took to school straight away and never had any problems leaving me (although now he "hates" school - but that is only because he doesn't like having to work!)

Original poster

Lucybug · 21/09/2006 14:23

ooohhhh....he now has chicken pox!!!!!!! That would explain why he was particularly upset yesterday perhaps. It is still a battle most mornings though, when nothing is wrong with his health....I shall note the advice that it could be hunger or tiredness which might not help.
He goes four mornings a week cheesy...mon, tue, wed and fri

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