parenting positives - newborn and toddler

[milkyman]

Have just found out I'm pregnant. If all goes ok, my ds wil be 2.5. I am really down as 1st time round was awful, had pnd and struggling with my 22mth old at the moment - really not enjoying it.

So you're looking for positives rather than usual "how hellish is it?"
We had a 2.5 year gap. One positive was that DD1 was old enough to walk mostly so I never got a double buggy, just a buggy board.
She used to run off but now at 3 is getting a lot better with this so hopefully I will not have to deal with two running in opposite directions.
Biggest positive is that the first three months, while very hard, fly by. And second time around labour and the newborn stage were much easier (just had a toddler to contend with as well).
The first time you watch them giggling at each other is absolutely priceless.

Hello OP - I'm in the same boat, and wondering the same thing! (Though I am enjoying it all).

Ive got a 2.5yo dd and am due in ten weeks. Positives so far have been:

DD gazing in wonder at the baby moving in my tummy
DD saying "Mammy I will read my baby brother a bedtime story but only if he is a good boy"
DD being able to tell people that she is getting a baby brother

Im looking forward to them meeting one another and im so so looking forward to being off with dd every day (I work ft) for nine months!

It's a bit different as my DS was 3.5 when DD was born but I have loved it. I've actually found it so much better having 2, the relationship with DS feels less intense somehow and watching him and my now 6 month old DD get to know each other has been magical.

I must admit I found late pregnancy tough but manageable but haven't a single negative ring to say about having two.

Thing not ring. There's always a typo somewhere!!

I had a 3 year age gap but as DS1 is quite young for his age I think it might be similar. It's been lovely. There was mutual adoration between the 2 of them from the start, DS1 was old enough to understand what was going on and really seemed to feel ownership of 'his baby'. I did find the activity level hard to adjust to, but now baby is 4 months everything feels OK.
One thing I did throughout the pregnancy was try to imagine fitting a baby into our routine, and alter routine accordingly so DS1 got used to things. Just simple things like encouraging him to walk up stairs and not be carried, start taking his own clothes off, things like that.
A good tip a friend gave me was to feed newborn on the sofa rather than a chair. The toddler can then climb up next to you and snuggle if they want, and not feel so left out.
Hope all goes well for you!
Oh, one more thing, potty training a toddler when you have a one month old baby is not a good idea not sure what kind of idiot would think it was
Oh, and buggy board is very useful!

I found none to one very hard emotionally but one to two surprisingly wonderful. Because I was so nervous about it I got myself SUPER organised before my DD came along - down to outfit laid out for first day home, every cream/ointment/medicine at the ready, nappy bag packed, wine in fridge, meals ready. And I think that really helped. I also didn't even attempt breastfeeding (which I had found nightmarish with first) so I didn't have that stress.

I agree with Caramella in that it makes your relationship with first less intense. You just can't stress about every little thing as your attention has to be divided. It's busier, but better! And the two are distracted by each other. It's lovely!

I was also pretty strict about getting my second into good sleeping habits (i.e could go to sleep without rocking/driving/jiggling for hours!) so that I could still have alone time with my first. And that really helped.

Congratulations! I think you may be pleasantly surprised!

I found going from none to one much harder than going from one to two. Second time around was much less of an emotional upheaval.

Positives are seeing the two find so much joy in each other. The other day D.D (2.8yo) said to to DS (5mo) 'I love you so much, we should get married. My heart could have actually burst!