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Parenting

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Original poster

child holiday with school

24 replies

Anthony147 · 17/08/2014 22:57

i am after a bit of advice. my 11 girl has just come back from trip with school. she has been bullyed all week never been in shower as her so call mentor who was doing the bullying would not show her to use the shower and a load of other things has happened but the main reason i am asking advice for is they also went to disney land paris the teachers let her and two of her other friends also 11 alone all day to walk around the park

OP posts:

EvilTwins · 17/08/2014 22:59

How is that bullying? Sorry, but I don't really understand your point.

Toohotforfishandchips · 17/08/2014 22:59

What advice are you after?

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 17/08/2014 23:00

Walking around the park with friends at 11 is fine IMO. Its not that big.
As for the bullying thing, suggest you discuss with the staff and ask them to deal with it.

Original poster

Anthony147 · 17/08/2014 23:02

my main point is should the teachers have let a 11 girl and two friends alone all day at disney land unsupervised

OP posts:

Blu · 17/08/2014 23:04

the bullying: I think you need to talk to the school about this. They should not have given a mentoring role to a girls who bullied younger children and it is important that the school know what is going on. Is your dd OK now she is home?

By age 11 children are generally expected to be quite sensible, as they are expected to travel to and from secondary school, without adult supervision. They were probably told to stay in their groups, not go out of the park and meet at a certain time and place.

AgentProvocateur · 17/08/2014 23:04

Yes, of course. Presumably they had a time to meet up with the teacher. I can't think of any 11 tptear old who would want to stick with their teacher at Disneyland.

EvilTwins · 17/08/2014 23:05

I think that's ok tbh. Plenty of staff on hand if they get lost. They can't leave the park. I'm a secondary teacher and would have done the same. No 11 yr old wants to hang out with their teacher all day.

This is not bullying.

HSMMaCM · 17/08/2014 23:12

DD was allowed to walk round a theme park with friends at 11. They had to stay in groups of 3.

If the mentor was bullying the school should be told.

Original poster

Anthony147 · 17/08/2014 23:19

the teacher was not bulling my child( evil twins )
it was the mentor
my child is very young for her age she starts secondary school in 3 weeks
maybe am i over reacting

OP posts:

Blu · 17/08/2014 23:26

Look at it this way: she walked round Disneyland OK, safely, looked after herself and managed fine. Hopefully it gave her some confidence, and I hope she and her friends enjoyed it.

However the bullying is another matter. Will this 'mentor' be at her secondary school? Who is the mentor? the school really need to know about this, and she must be stopped from bullying your daughter in the future. And your dd needs to know what to do if she is being bullied: to talk to the adults in charge and get help.

I think you should stop worrying about the walking round in groups, and focus on the bullying. How does your dd feel about the bullying?

EvilTwins · 18/08/2014 06:43

Sorry - I misunderstood. You really must contact the school about the bullying. I would contact the teacher who ran the trip in the first instance.

zipzap · 18/08/2014 09:33

Was the trip through her old or new school?
Did she know her mentor beforehand? And how much older was she?
Will she be at school with her next year?
What were you told about the trip and specifically the supervision around DLP? If it wasn't mentioned did you check your assumptions about supervision?
What was your dd's attitude to going away on this trip before she went? Had you discussed what to do if she encountered a problem? What were her (and your) expectations of the mentor - were they realistic?
Could the mentor have not known what to do herself but been too embarrassed to admit it?
Did any other kids have a problem with the mentor or was she just a mentor for your dd?

Sorry, lots of questions, but might help you to formulate your complaints to the school and tour organisers.

The bullying is worrying especially from someone who should be looking out for your dd.

However the wandering around DLP without a teacher - sounds like the school didn't advise you very well if you didn't know this in advance. Not that it's wrong for them to have been allowed to do this but you certainly should have been aware of this before signing up for the trip - would it have affected your choice to go or not? So school ought to tighten up on their info before going.

And as someone who had school trips of just a day to see cliff formations or to a historic house - I can't imagine how they managed to swing a school trip with not one but two days at DLP - would have loved a trip like that (obviously without the bullying!)

wheresthelight · 18/08/2014 16:41

I think 11 is far too young for a child to be left to wander a huge theme park like Disney unsupervised! I wouldn't let my step son wonder round legoland discovery unsupervised let alone a foreign county anything could happen! I think the school have been massively neglectful of their duty of care

I work with kids and there is no way we would allow 11 year old off on their own. 14+ maybe in this county but definitely not at Disney

EvilTwins · 18/08/2014 16:44

I took a trip to London at the end of the summer term. We look them all to Covent Garden, showed them exactly where we would be, gave them all a map and my mobile number and told them what time to meet. No one got lost. There were 6 yr 7s in the group and several had never been to London before. Most of them stayed close and enjoyed the street entertainment. Some were more adventurous.

clary · 18/08/2014 16:46

I run a school trip abroad (to France) with year 7s and there are often times when they are wandering around - eg in a market, at a theme park. We insist on groups of 3 at least (so that if something happens, one can stay and one run for help).

Some kids will stay with the staff but most relish the freedom. It's normal OP, honestly.

Re the bullying, I would contact the school to discuss it.

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 18/08/2014 23:24

DLP is not a huge theme park. Its very small actually and woipuld be very difficult to get lost in.

clam · 18/08/2014 23:29

Did you not go to some sort of information meeting about the arrangements for this trip? Would they not have outlined the arrangements for going round the park at that point?

HSMMaCM · 19/08/2014 07:40

Dd has just returned from Paris and everywhere they went (market, museum, etc) they were in groups of 3. At the information evening the teacher described it as one to stay with the body and the other to get help :).

Original poster

Anthony147 · 20/08/2014 12:41

thanks for the info and help

Was the trip through her old or new school?

new school
Did she know her mentor beforehand?
no picked by teachers
And how much older was she?
12
Will she be at school with her next year?
yes but so will older dd
What were you told about the trip and specifically the supervision around DLP?
partner missed info night both at work. there would be mentor to look after her
If it wasn't mentioned did you check your assumptions about supervision?
no something i regret

What was your dd's attitude to going away on this trip before she went?
very happy
Had you discussed what to do if she encountered a problem?
yes told her to tell teacher she went up to tell teacher twice about the other child told to stop tell taleing
What were her (and your) expectations of the mentor - were they realistic?
if dd had problem that she would help her if could not help dd sort it out with teacher
Could the mentor have not known what to do herself but been too embarrassed to admit it?
no. one thing she could of done is showed dd how to use shower dd should of asked teacher she did not. there was two girls in dorm out of six that did not get shower all week the so called mentor porded juice in her hair first night dd was all took to beach and went swimmimg i noticed within 30 seconds of seeing her picking her up her hair was in total mess DIRTY SO CALLED TEACHERS did not pick it up
Did any other kids have a problem with the mentor or was she just a mentor for your dd?
yes. 3 other kids did. the mentor was a mentor on another trip before this one

OP posts:

clary · 20/08/2014 16:51

OP I am not sure how many children were on the trip, but I find it surprising that you would expect staff to stay all day with small groups of 11yos.

The ratio we work on on the trip I run is roughly one adult to 10 students. I don't think we could really ask the students to get into groups of ten and then go round a theme park with one of the teachers. Is this what you were expecting?

CaulkheadUpNorth · 20/08/2014 16:59

Assume teachers did not know your dd as is a new school and as you/partner didn't attend information evenings they may not have met her much. Therefore they probably have no idea what her hair is like?

I think I would have expected her to ask someone other than the mentor if having shower issues.

LIZS · 20/08/2014 17:09

Was this her first trip away ? Lots of kids don't wash or shower during a residential. dd was let loose on Futuroscope on her year 6 trip, and and subsequently at Hyde Park, Thorpe Park , Harry Potter et al. Presumably they had a contact point to rendezvous or for emergencies. These trips are all about learning self reliance, building trust and working within set boundaries. if you have issues take it up with the staff in charge in first instance . You could ask to see their risk assessments but be careful not to come across overly protective .

JustAShopGirl · 20/08/2014 17:23

Disneyland Paris REALLY is not small. The Disneyland park alone (not including the studios park) is 140 acres - and as such is the biggest of its type - (Magic kingdom in Florida is 110acres).

But my DD went round it aged 11 - 2 months ago on a school trip to Paris- they had to stay in groups of 3 or more. They had a contact card and a mobile phone. They really enjoyed the freedom.

Any child found not to be in their group, or not returning on time was kept with the teacher for the next "freedom tour".

They also went in their groups around central Paris, shopping and eating for up to 4 hours at a time. And stayed in a public hostel which had a fire alarm go off at 3am and they were evacuated to the car park, in their PJs in the rain...

(Disneyland paris was the LEAST of my worries - which I kept to myself anyhow because she had a fantastic time and grew up a bit)

clam · 20/08/2014 20:00

God, I'm just remembering a school trip I was on years back, when we staff realised at about 11pm on the last night, that a significant number of kids hadn't managed to have showers all week! Cue: major rush as we bundled them all upstairs to the bathrooms to clean up before they met their parents again the next day.

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