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Original poster

Do you let your children see you naked?

122 replies

Saturn74 · 17/09/2006 20:51

My MIL made the statement that she thought it was inappropriate for children to see their parents naked once the children were 4 or 5 years old.

This got me thinking, as my DS1 is 10, and merrily comes and sits in the bathroom for a chat whilst I'm in the bath. He's very matter of fact and it has never been an issue.

DS2 is 8, and has reached a "mwah, mwah, look at the boobs!" sort of stage, and I don't feel as comfortable about it with him. Besides which, he wouldn't stay still long enough to sit and have a chat whilst I was in the bath anyway! So he no longer sees me naked - and I think he would be embarrassed to.

So, just wondered how other people felt. Is my MIL right, or does it depend on the personality of the child?

(Just wanted to add that I don't parade up and down naked or anything - I'm in a bath with bubble bath in it!)

OP posts:
naughtymummy · 19/09/2006 20:06

Thanks Emma LOu had n't thought about serving tea in the buff considering what a mess it tends to be might be quite a sensible idea

Think was expected to get her changed then lock myself in a separate changing room. I may do this next time. However i agree that girls need to see normal women undressed as they grow up.Although maybe not at dinner time.

redzuleika · 20/09/2006 09:06

My DD is only a year old (nearly), so neither of us have any issue being naked in front of her, but it did make me laugh the first time she became aware of the tattoo on my hip. I was changing her naked and the changing table was about hip level. She started trying to pick it off. She also tries to pick a mole off DH's back.

sallyrosie · 20/09/2006 09:35

Our dd is 2 1/2 and sees us naked, she usually showers with one of us in the morning as well.
She's certainly very relaxed about the whole thing although she does like to take off all her clothes and run around shouting 'I'm a rudey dudey'. She knows that boys and girls have different bits anyway - we had a long discussion in car yesterday about how the boys at nursery wee standing up but sit down when they do a poo. Nice.

I know that my sisters are the same with their kids and I don't feel uncomfy about being naked around them either eg when changing at swimming pool.

I think I'd rather bring my kids up to think that seeing bodies is normal rather than them getting a distorted idea of what boobs etc look like from the TV.

expatinscotland · 20/09/2006 09:39

No.

liquidclocks · 20/09/2006 09:47

Yes, DS is 22 months and we'll continue to let him untilhe is embarrassed by it - but it'll probably be just him that doesn't wander into the bed/bathroom anymore. However - he is NOT allowed to touch our 'private' bits (my boobs/DH's willy), we just say 'no, those are mummy's/daddy's' and leave it at that. But we can all have a bath together and that's nice!

If you don't let your kids see you naked things like teaching them about communal changing rooms at swimming baths would be very difficult I think.

I have worked as a carer and a hospital OT as a job though and have seen lots of people of all ages and shapes completely in the buff! I think if you're embarrassed then they get embarrassed, I have found the best approach to be completely blase about it all and thank my parents and their attitude for my ability to cope with the naked human form.

oliveoil · 20/09/2006 09:49

yes, of course, I don't get left alone for 5 mins in this house

when I have a shower, they both come in the bathroom and sit down and read books and tell me to hurry up!

sebastiansmummy · 20/09/2006 11:29

Snowleopard, I am experiencing the same thing. My DS (17 mos) STARES at me too, which is what prompted me to find this thread. I, too, was wondering when to lock the bathroom door. DS flicks the shower-curtain open over and over again so he can watch me shower...and the bathroom floor gets soaked.
I remember seeing my dad naked until I was about 4 (colostomy bag and all). That was my entire concept of male anatomy until university (and I disected a cadaver, of course). I never remember seeing my mom naked, though I do remember being embarrassed when I had to change for swimming lessons and all the grown women would be parading around the change-rooms naked. I had/have an incredible talent of being able to change in and out of swimming suits without showing anything...a necessity since in my school, we had no separate changing rooms for gym class until we were 10.
Anyway, on this issue, I am trying to be comfortable about being naked around my son, mostly out of necessity, but I do think it is important that our children learn that not everyone feels comfortable being seen in the buff by them, such as when daytime guests are going to the toilet or overnight guests are showering. I remember my SIL explaining to my 3 year old niece this exact situation long before I had DS. She was desperate to see me in the nude because I have big boobies and her mum's are almost flat. SIL said "some people don't like to be seen all noody-poody like us." What a great introduction to the concept of privacy!!!

snowleopard · 20/09/2006 12:20

DP got DS up this morning and brought him into bed with us for a few minutes (for no other reason than that we are knackered and just wanted to lie there a bit longer!). We sleep naked and as soon as DS saw my boobs he grabbed my nipples and tried to pull them off! (much like what he does with his willy) with many shreiks of delight. I had a t-shirt on pretty quick

snowleopard · 20/09/2006 12:21

Ooh that doesn't look right - shrieks

TenaLady · 20/09/2006 12:23

Well our family bad a big halaballoo about being seen undressed and I have become very reserved about my bod. I wont change in public areas and it can be restricting.

My ds 5 is at the stage where he notices things but we ignore or take the mickey out of each other about our bits and peices if we are parading around.

TenaLady · 20/09/2006 12:28

The body is a beautiful creation and should be admired for what it is and its many complicated functions which are miraculous in themselves.

HOWEVER when you begin to think of them in the sexual sense, thats when your conscience confuses you, remember children arent sexually aware (in the true sense til much later)

Start examining why you dont want your child to see you in the birthday suit and then make you decision.

hollys1mum · 20/09/2006 13:03

i personally have always ben very prudish, i did not walk around in front of my partner naked until i was 8 months pregnant (by which time we had ben together 2 years) so i have made sure i'm not like tht around dd, so she has no hang ups. however, just yesterday, i was bending down and she shrieked 'mummy, your bums falling out! i don't like it'.

best to kep certain bits covered then

KathH · 20/09/2006 16:58

no i dont - only cos ds2 who's 2 pulls at my nipples like he's trying to tune the radio in - bit like dh really

fullmoonfiend · 20/09/2006 17:05

shy about people outside the house even seeing his underpants but at home, we just potter around in the buff - unless it's cold. I don't like wearing stuff in bed (unless it's cold ) so I don't want to start with the full length Wee Willy Winkie nightgowns a moment before I have to, IYKWIM.

fullmoonfiend · 20/09/2006 17:11

Sorry about the half a post!

I said something like ''my boys are not embarassed yet so we will be guided by them as to when to cover up. (they are nearly 9 and 6)
We have achieved toilet privacy as I am not keen on having any audience when I am on the throne! But they come and chat when I am in the bath (unless I am reading, when I just don't want to be bothered.)
And if the boys started saying inappropriate things or were pleading with us to 'put it away' then of course we would.
The elder is shy about people outside the house even seeing his underpants but at home, we all just potter around in the buff - unless it's cold. I don't like wearing stuff in bed (unless it's cold ) so I don't want to start with the full length Wee Willy Winkie nightgowns a moment before I have to, IYKWIM.

sleepysooz · 20/09/2006 17:16

Yes I do, my ds 10yo twins nearly 3

although its time I started putting on something as my 10yo ds has started smacking my bum as I run out of the shower. (little minx)

hovely · 20/09/2006 18:28

would prefer not to let the world see me naked
as DS (2.8) tugged down the back of my combats in the playground and shouted 'Mummy your bottom is hanging out'

TenaLady · 20/09/2006 21:49

my little menace has honked on me norks like a car hooter before now, when cuddling up. I just think its funny and nothing sexual, he is aware its a part of mummy's body that sticks out.

essbee · 20/09/2006 21:57

Message withdrawn

noddyholder · 20/09/2006 21:58

Tbh wouldn't subject anyone else to it!

snowleopard · 21/09/2006 09:29

No I'm sure there's nothing sexual when my DS pulls my norks - they're just another of the many millions of things out there to be yanked on, poked or generally messed about with.

slug · 21/09/2006 16:08

We sleep naked and I can't see the point in taking time to cover up when she's crying in the night. DD (aged nearly 5) has always seen us naked, she gets into bed with us and sees us wandering around like that all the time. When it's hot she's happy to strip off and much to her delight during our holiday this year witnessed both her parents skinny dipping. It's only ever been mildly embarassing, such as the time she stayed at her grand parents and had a serious conversation with her grandmother about how "Nanny's wobbly tits are smaller than Mummy's wobbly tits and Mummy has a bra to stop her wobbly tits from wobbling so much"

I love that unselfconsciousness that children have about their bodies. I think by being matter of fact about our own (and let's face it, neither dh nor I would ever grace a catwalk) she will hopefully avoid for as long as possible those horrible pressures girls are put under to conform to an unrealistic ideal.

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