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Original poster

Do you let your children see you naked?

122 replies

Saturn74 · 17/09/2006 20:51

My MIL made the statement that she thought it was inappropriate for children to see their parents naked once the children were 4 or 5 years old.

This got me thinking, as my DS1 is 10, and merrily comes and sits in the bathroom for a chat whilst I'm in the bath. He's very matter of fact and it has never been an issue.

DS2 is 8, and has reached a "mwah, mwah, look at the boobs!" sort of stage, and I don't feel as comfortable about it with him. Besides which, he wouldn't stay still long enough to sit and have a chat whilst I was in the bath anyway! So he no longer sees me naked - and I think he would be embarrassed to.

So, just wondered how other people felt. Is my MIL right, or does it depend on the personality of the child?

(Just wanted to add that I don't parade up and down naked or anything - I'm in a bath with bubble bath in it!)

OP posts:
Posey · 17/09/2006 21:56

Sorry, should've said FRONT bottom (as ds likes to call it)

colditz · 17/09/2006 21:58

We still get in the shower with ds1, who is 3.5

Original poster
Saturn74 · 17/09/2006 21:59

DS2 is 8 and frequently wanders around naked. Would quite happily live in just a pair of pants. I have to remind him to go and get dressed if the postman or delivery man knock on the door.

He is embarrassed to see my naked though, so he doesn't.

Hmmm.... perhaps I just look really funny naked?

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 17/09/2006 21:59

Pruni do you have poo on your bottom
HC, your MIL talks a load of old baloney. do it as long as you are both comfortable with it.

Gobbledigook · 17/09/2006 21:59

yes
the boys are 5.5, 3.10, 2

noonar · 17/09/2006 22:00

but humphrey, at what age did you tell him to dress before coming to the door?

twinsetandpearls · 17/09/2006 22:15

I do, tend to wander about naked as does dd. Dp doesn't and wears underpants in bed incase dd gets in, but dd isn't his amd ex can be difficult so he needs to be careful I suppose.

twinsetandpearls · 17/09/2006 22:16

dd is five and often comments on my boobs! and my wobbly bum

Original poster
Saturn74 · 17/09/2006 22:19

Noonar, can't remember really. Knowing DS2 I've probably been saying it for years, but he's good at the old 'selective hearing' thing. Thinking about it, I'm probably only saying it so that the person at the door doesn't know that the kids haven't got dressed yet! More to cover the shame of my disorganisation than to cover his bod!

OP posts:
Beetroot · 17/09/2006 22:20

dh and i go naked when on holiday all the time.

at home not so much but I don't hide myslef from the kids

Beetroot · 17/09/2006 22:21

my kids are between 7 ans 12

curiosity · 17/09/2006 22:25

It's her opinion, I don't necessarily agree with her, but it's obviously what she's used to.

Think it also depends on the personality of the parents as well as the children.

Neither DH nor myself can remember seeing our parents naked, and I know my mother (were she still alive) would be of a similar opinion to your mil, whereas we're far more relaxed about such things.

sluttymum · 17/09/2006 22:27

the bloke and i always slept naked now the 3 year old is established in sleeping naked since he could take his pjs off age 18 mnths - all fine (ie could not stop - and pretty harmless)until i realised that personal grooming should be done in private when junior informed me i needed to shave my lady parts ##i only trim ## but thank all benevolent thingies above he said this in the bathroom not tescos - will stick to naked sleep but no longer shave legs and trim bikini line in front of mini terror in case all he other preschool mums think i am a pervert as well as a non make up wearing freak at 9am

wrinklytum · 17/09/2006 22:31

DS is still tiny (nearly 3 ) and I wouldnt get anywhere shower/toilet unless he was there.I think children have a natural curiosity re bodies and bodily functions and hiding it away would be strange.I want them to be confident where this is concerned and feel that concealment would lead to anxiety.DS is currently fascinated by pooing/weeing and the fact that mummy and daddy are different,totally normal behaviour IMHO!!!

Jaffacake1 · 17/09/2006 22:33

my mum never EVER let us see her naked. I feel like I can be more chilled with my dd, but only till she's about 3 or 4

QueenEagle · 17/09/2006 22:35

Another naturist family here. I only like going naked outside if the weather is REALLY hot though otherwise I stay appropriately dressed. If we are at our caravan we all go naked, the kids just accept that's a place where it is acceptable.

Don't cover up at home when we're getting dressed or showered etc but me and dh do afford our teenagers some privacy during their ablutions.

fubsy · 17/09/2006 23:31

Read an article about this in a mag ages ago - said if kids didnt see their parents naked they would only have media images of bodies to go by, and could then grow up with distorted ideas of what ordinary people look like. Therefore leading to self image problems etc. So for the sake of your children's mental health - go naked!

Clary · 17/09/2006 23:43

Oh gosh yes. In the bath, getting dressed, etc etc. They are 7, 5 3 btw but can't see it changing any time soon tbh. I think it's healthy actually and has led to an easy explanation of some things that could otherwise need a long explanation later - eg periods we have already covered in a bit of detail (what's that mummy? Why do you have to wear it?" etc) and why mummies and daddies have furry bits while children don't - but will...

Ghosty lol at the children needing to talk to you in bath/loo/phone. Same here!

snowleopard · 17/09/2006 23:49

Clicked on this thread out of interest - DS is only 15mo and I've never been worried about nudiness in my life - but just recently, DS has started STARING at me when I'm naked with a look of utter amazement and fascination which is a bit alarming. I know I'm going to get the hairy bottom comments as soon as he can string a sentence together...

fatfox · 18/09/2006 08:50

HC I think your MIL is out of date and prudish - different generation and all that...

DS and DD are 6 and 3 and both see me naked. They see DH in a towel/shorts etc.

DD shouts at me "ha, ha, look at those big boobies!", DS shouts "mummy, why have you got a hairy bum?" (I haven't by the way ).

I'm a bit wary of DS talking in the playground about "mummy's hairy bum" so try to keep pubes covered in front of him.

I think its far more healthy for them to see us naked, than to be all prudish and hung up about the human body.

We never saw our parents naked when we were children and my Mum is really embarassed if I BF in public - I certainly don't want our children to feel hung up like that about what's prefectly natural!!

Beetroot · 18/09/2006 08:53

QE, do you go to Naturists resotrs or jsut beaches where you can get naked??

PrettyCandles · 18/09/2006 08:58

Your MIL is wrong IMO. The time for your children to stop seeing you naked is when either they or you feel uncomfortable about it, and it would happen quite naturally.

My mum has always been completely open about nudity in the immediate family, we had many of our best talks while she was in the bath, and even today she's not bothered whether any of her adult children or her grandchildren see her naked. My dad OTOH has never been comfortable with nudity, I have never seen him naked, and I respect his need for privacy. Similarly, once we reached a certain age (about puberty, I suppose) he never saw us nude. No fuss, no issues, no dramas - it just happened naturally.

SSSandy · 18/09/2006 09:04

Dd is nearly six and sees us naked quite a lot. Doesn't faze any of us.

Think I would find it different with a boy TBH. Last week after tennis, went to have a shower and there was a mum in the changing room with a boy aged maybe 9. I wasn't comfortable with it.

trinityshiftingherleatheryarse · 18/09/2006 09:04

ddi is 6 and had started to cover her private bits with her hand when in the swimming changing rooms but at home she doesn't. she sees me naked and isn't bothered, except at the moment to say your belly geeting huuuuuge (pg at the mo). I too believe that it happens naturally when the child finds it embarraaing and they just don't barge into the bathroom anymore.
I dfon't think I would ever get embarrassed but I only have girls at the mo so that probably has something to do with it

YeahBut · 18/09/2006 09:05

Let your children take the lead. As posters have already pointed out, it's impossible for us to shower or get dressed without being naked. Our children are still quite happy to wander in and out of the bathroom while dh and I are doing these things so we're quite happy for them to do so. If and when they start to feel self-conscious, either about their own bodies or ours, we'll introduce a bit more privacy but no signs as yet.(dds nearly 7 and 5)
Mind you, I'm not quite so blase about it all when dd2 starts yelling "Mummy, your boobies/tummy/bum is like a jelly!" when I'm in the shower and starts singing the Jelly on the Plate song at me (with particular gusto at the Wibble Wobble bit.)