I've just received the lunch and snack menu for DS's new preschool and I know he won't eat any of it. Bollocks.

[Mrsfrumble]

He's 3.8 and very fussy. He would spit out most vegetables even as a baby. If I'm honest I've sort of given up trying to broaden his diet because so much food was being wasted. He eats a lot of sandwiches and pasta, and I blend veggies into tomato sauce for pizza topping and pasta sauce. He will eat meat and some fruit, and I think I manage to get a reasonably balanced diet into him; I certainly think things could be worse when I see some of the threads on here by posters despairing of their picky eaters.

I knew there would be a potential problem when he started preschool, but I was hoping peer pressure would help a bit. He went to childminder between the age of 12 months and 2 and would eat most things there because the other children were eating (and because the childminder was some kind of Mary Poppinsesque miracle worker. I miss her!).

The preschool is Montessori and markets itself as Eco-friendly so I knew it would be a bit lentil-weavery, but having just got the handbook through in an email I'm taken aback by the menu. It's gluten-free and vegetarian, and pretty much consists of quinoa and steamed veggies. No packed lunches allowed. DS is going to starve! He's due to be there 3 days a week from 8.30-3.

I feel like a crap parent because I he doesn't eat these things. I knew his diet wasn't brilliant but thought we were doing okay and that his tastes would broaden as he got older (I was an exceptionally fussy child but now eat almost anything). What am I going to do?

My DS is similar... He goes to nursery 3 days a week. He eats everything there, everything. Can I get him to eat it at home. No!
My family joke 'at least he gets his 5 a day 3 days a week'.
You will be surprised what they will eat when all the other children are eating it!

Good lord that's going to be one windy nursery!
Sounds like the menu at the weightloss bootcamp my sister went to.

He's only 3 so his eating habits will change. Give it a go.

We were really strict with our kids and they have a similar arrangement at school. However we count ourselves lucky that ours eat everything as other friends were strict too but their kids are still a bit fussy.

Look on school as an opportunity for your son to learn lots if things, including to like different foods. Good luck to both of you.

Why the dairy free cakes? That sounds like an ill-informed diet for young children - lacking in fat, protein and calcium (plus probably iron). Do they have a qualified, registered dietician advising them (not just a crank)?

I wouldn't even attempt to introduce that stuff at home TBH. If you did he would be forewarned and would have his objections ready. Leave it, and he may well adopt a "when in Rome" approach and eat stuff at nursery which he would be appalled at being presented with at home.

My DD inadvertently let slip that she eats all sorts of things at school which she would point blank refuse at home . ("Because we have to, Mummy" )

For those objecting to the lack of protein - Quinoa's only excuse for existence is that it is high in protein, apparently.

He may shock you, ds eats a very limited diet at home and often refuses everything but at nursery he eats fish stew (which looks vile) pork/ veg medley, veg curry. Some days it is soup or fajitas which he won't touch so will just eat the crackers and wraps. But hey have mod morning and mid afternoon snacks also.

My friends ds refused to eat at nursery for first few months, nothing to do with the food just wouldn't eat while there so she got it in his routine that he had a huge breakfast finished with a glass of milk then brought a snack for the walk home, he managed fine but then one day started eating (not a lot, but enough)

There seems to be plenty of protein there- it's not just found in meat which is a common misconception!

There doesn't seem to be much fat though! Unless it's olive oil in dressings or coconut oil in cakes etc? Cheese only seems to appear on one day. It might be worth checking further and if you're concerned, increasing his healthy fats intake when he's at home?

Eggs have protein don't they? Shame DS won't eat them!

well, I wouldn't cook and serve most of those things, but if they are made properly, many of them are delicious.

The buckwheat makes me laugh. We lived in Central asia, and buckwheat is served in the same way we serve rice. All the western expats were YUCK NO!! All the kids who went to local schools (and therefore had to eat it) loved it.

I would challenge them though, they can't have t both ways, either they are vegetarian and serve cheese and eggs and therefore should accept cakes with dairy in it.
or they are vegan, in which case they shouldn't be serving eggs or cheese.
They seem to be giving out a mixed message.

I'm not convinced that the protein content in quinoa is that high. 14g per 100g looks good, but that is for uncooked quinoa. Obviously it takes on lots of water when cooking, so it comes out with 4g per 100g when cooked. I don't think that is much more than for cooked pasta. Compared to something like chicken breast (26g per 100g), you aren't going to get all that far with quinoa.

Eggs and cheese are good for protein. 2 out of the 5 days seem short on protein to me. But the lack of fats and dairy would be more of a concern than the protein content.

Pico2 - my SIL tells me it is too high in protein for DN2 who is on a (medically necessary) low protein diet.

There are plenty of foods that we think of as 'carbs' that have quite a lot of protein in them link. But nothing like as much as lean meat.

My fussy dd just didn't eat very much at nursery as it didn't fit with her idea of edible substances, and she had very strong opinions. Luckily they weren't too militant there, so I think she often had at least a piece of bread (all food cooked at the nursery). But then as she was there for three days from 8 until 6 they couldn't really have not fed her as she would have got very miserable and cranky, and they were a very loving lot.

On that menu she would have refused the soup outright and the quiche too (things mixed up together tended to make her scream if they came too close!) but eaten the veges happily so long as they were either raw or very plainly cooked.

Her brother ate pretty much everything put in front of him. Now they are teens she is the adventurous eater, and he is the more suspicious one, so don't despair

Have you seen the food? If it's done well, it will be absolutely delicious. It's only fresh normal food like veg, beans and grains. Would you prefer that they did the more common pizza and beans type food?

What does the school say. You can't be the first parent concerned that their child won't like the food?

My son is the fussiest eater in the world at home, but at nursery he eats, I think the fact that everyone else is doing it helps a lot. Your son won't deliberately starve himself, and I'm sure he's not the first fussy toddler the preschool will have dealt with.

Have you seen the food? If it's done well, it will be absolutely delicious. It's only fresh normal food like veg, beans and grains. Would you prefer that they did the more common pizza and beans type food?

I agree. I think it's a fantastic menu. It's one meal a day - a child doesn't need the perfect balance of protein and carbs at every single meal! There's veggies, cheese, quinoa, coconut milk, yoghurt...lots of good, nutritious stuff.

Compared to the rubbish that is often served up as kids' meals, it looks fab.

Woah there! I don't think I said anywhere that I wanted them to serve pizza and beans! I've already stated several times that I feel bad that DS won't eat vegetables (for me anyway) and that I'll be delighted if his tastes broaden as a result of eating there.

I also mentioned that it's a new preschool opening for the first time next month, so I may well be the first concerned parent. But even if he doesn't eat the food I realise it's not the end of the world. He's only there three days a week.

It sounds alot like my ds's nursery, his nursery has a vegetarian only menu, they serve lots of quinoa, couscous, brown rice and vegetables, the food is not vegan so they do have cheese and other dairy products.

My ds isn't a fussy eater but some of the children in his group apparently are fussy at home, I spent a few weeks going to nursery with ds when he started and all the children sat beautifully and ate the food they were served, they also drink herb tea with their snack.

I think you'll be surprised. Kids are only fussy if you let them be. When presented with a meal or snack with no alternative, if he's hungry, he'll eat it. He won't starve himself. Watching the other children eat will most certainly help. My nephew was a fussy eater at home where my SIL fussed over him, trying lots of different things at every meal and showing her desperation to get him to eat. When with us, his Grandma or at nursery (all of which gave him no choice - it was eat it or leave it), he ate much better.

Get yourself a copy of the book "French kids eat everything" - it's a great read:

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0749958510?pc_redir=1405256686&robot_redir=1

Don't stop putting different foods on his plate just because he didn't like them once, keep introducing new foods but don't make a fuss if he doesn't eat them, how else will he learn to like them if you just stick to the same diet.

I used to look after a child who would only eat refried beans, burritos and chicken dippers. By gradually introducing them, I got him to eat proper chicken and proper beans. His parents were amazed, but they never tried because he said no.

Get him involved in making food, let him play with it.

You said that the childminder already worked miracles, there's no reason why the nursery can't do the same.

I don't fuss over him and offer lots of alternatives, honestly! We've reached a compromise of the limited range of meals he will eat gradually over the last three years, as I came to realise that serving up plates of vegetables with homemade fish cakes and the like was just a big waste of food and effort on my part because he's stubborn enough or has little enough appetite that he'd apparently rather go hungry than eat things he doesn't like.

I hope the peer pressure will help. I have been reassured by plenty of the posters here who say that there picky eaters are more adventurous at nursery, or if they aren't they survive.