grandparents and their houseproud ways causing probs

[mummytoo]

Just back from another few days trip to my parents where they followed kids around with a damp cloth. ..they aren't even especially messy as I have trained them as i inherited houseproudness..but they are 1 1/2 and 4 1/2! My mum even goes nuts when they mess up cushions on sofa.....its all vwry tense andconstantly snapping at kids. I am not sure if I can handle another trip....they r totally different at my house all loving and fun. ..but they expect us to lay on entertainment...I dont think I can visit again which is very sad and makes me angry. We have discussed it and they said 'kids are wrecking our house so we are in our rights'

. last Christmas I did Christmas for 10 prople for 5 days....I said it was their turn this yr..but its clear they don't want my kids messing up their house....its hardly fair when I work and dp works and we also have 2 littleones...last Christmas my youngest was still a baby!

is there anything anyone can suggest??

We have difficulty when visiting the PILs for various reasons, so my suggestion is, don't visit until your kids are older. PILs live several hours drive away so we've just gradually faded away and decided that next time we'll stay in a hotel and meet them out of the house.

If they get the hump with you for not visiting, you just say 'It will be less stressful on everyone if we meet out somewhere'.

Your parents sound slightly mental, what on earth did they do with you when you were a little one - lock you in a playpen for 5 years??? I'd say go to your DPs family for Xmas, or alternately leave the country, the south of France is lovely that time of year. :)

Could you stay at a hotel near them, or get a self-catering place? Then you could visit them for carefully-controlled amounts of time and leave before they frazzle you too badly.

Have Christmas at home ,on your own ,let them have it on their own at their house ,it is them that are missing out on enjoying their grandchildren - miserable buggers !

Don't take them anymore. I had to stop taking my dc to my parents as my mother refused to put her Lladro ornaments away because "he should not be touching" ds was 1. The final straw was when he was playing on the floor and noticed the red light on their play station and reached out to touch it, before he did or before I could even say anything my Dad absolutely bellowed at him and grabbed him and pulled him away really roughly. I told them what I thought and left and we didn't go back for about two years.

Oh to be clear he never showed any interest in her "Lladro" or even tried to tough them but he was clumsy (as are all one year olds) and might have knocked against the myriad of tiny tables they were displayed on.

Lladro more important than grand children to some people it seems.

nicki that's my MIL to a tee !which is why she now has a 21 year old grandson who visits her about once every 2 years , whereas my mum ,who lives the same distance away gets him at least once a fortnight and usually overnight.

Well that's already happened here. My dc are 11 and 7 and never ask about them now. I wish I could feel sad but I don't, they brought it all on themselves.

My feelings exactly . My DS has probably seen them about 4 times since he was 14 .

Thanks for your supportive comments

Ive reflected a bit this afternoon and yes they were nuts like this when my bro and I were kids. .no drinks outside kitchen no food etc...I am quite a control freak...so seems its all rubbed off

they r quite goid with kids if we r out abd buy gifts etc...Iam just realky realky tired of being the ffamily host and entertainer....I am not here to ensure they have a good time....its knackering enough going places with 2 littleones without it being like that with family..

All our other family on dp side in Australia. .my bro and family too...so sadly no alternative rellies. ...

looks like I will have to cut stays with them to one day...and accept I have to host everything or take role of mean dd and put my foot down over hosting Christmas and sundry other events. ..

thanks