DP is back at work next week. Please tell me how I can cope with a newborn and a v lively 21 month old.

[intergalacticwalrus]

I need some tips, or I'll go mental. DS1 is a very lively child (aren't they all??) and needs constant attention. DS2 feeds all day everyday at the moment. I am seriously worried about how I will manage. I'm not good with mess, and I am starting to get the jitters, as the house is slowly degenerating into something that resembles a lanfill site, and that's with DP here as well (mind you, I think I answered my own qusetion there!!)

How does ecveryone else cope? I can't even drive for a couple of weeks, as I had a CS, which also excludes me from picking up DS1, although I can't avoid it altogether. I am, quite frankly, dreading DP's return to work, and DS2 is a very good baby (at the moment anyway. He's only a week old, so time will tell)

AARRGGHH!

aaargh indeed, I have a 23 month old and a 12 week old, so same deal.

It will be tough at first but it will get easier (or so I am telling myself!). I find that I have better days if I manage to get out in the morning (usually to the park so ds gets a runaround while dd is in the sling). I've also learned to embrace CBeebies (having been laughably anti before!) as it's the only thing that keeps ds safe and occupied whilst I'm feeding dd.

I get jittery about mess too but am trying not to stress about it, it's not like there's not enough on the plate already! Good luck

inter you will cope, dont fret about it as thats adding to your anxious state
my dd was 22mths at ds birht and it was anxious but when dh went back to work i was kinda glad as i knew that i had to get on with it, as he works away for 24hrs, do nights by myslef and get a routine going. which i did and stuck to it for my sanity and it worked pretty much.

walks out everyday were vital , fresh air both of them in the buggy , they'd nap and i'd get to think

your ds will prob get an interest in the baby quite soon and you'll be amazed how he will entertain the baby for you when u need a break from feeding or getting tea ready for him/your dh and u!
forget about the meess,, jesus i was floor obsesvie but soon forgot about and let it go.

go to bed a 9pm and even if you are only resting at least you are resting.

make sure ds knows whats lined for him in the day so he doesnt get put out if something changes and you have to dela with him off on a tangent.

as i say you will embrace it and get on with it and in 4mths you'll have it down to a fine art!

inter - ps plan your food so theres no fretting or time wasting with what will we eat, another stress u dont need.
hopwfully oyur dh eats whatever u put infront of him and doesnt grumble or maybe he can cook!

IGW,awwwww I feel for you....my younger 2 children are 21 month apart and ms is a serious active child and always has been and dh is in the Armed Forces, so, often wasn't there and we were at the time , when I had ys in NI, so far away from any family....it's hard, but just try to take any offers of help you get, try to prioritise and just keep the 21 month old busy and entertained by any possible means and keep calm and have some Bach Rescue Remedy near by
If you can try to preprepare some meals or something like that...try to keep things as simple as you can!

How do I stop DS1 from trying to smother the baby with "love"? He's fascinated by him, but is a little too rough with him, especailly with his eyes, which are getting poked with alarming regularity. Thus far, I have been putting DS2 in his Moses basket upstairs when he's happy, but this won't always be an option. I can't leave them in the same room together, as it would be disatrous. Will it always be like this??? [frazzled emoticon]

my sister coped by getting out the house and being organised the night before i.e packing the baby bag etc her two boys are 10m apart, they are now 6and 7 yrs old, she went to many mother and toddler groups to keep herself sane and the kids got to see other kids, it does get easier!

It is hard. Ds2 was born when ds1 was 16 months old. DH works offshore and had 6 days at home after the birth and then went away for 2 weeks. He always has 2 weeks at home and 2 weeks away. Mine are now 11 and 12 but those first weeks were just a mad, exhausting blur. I just slept whenever I could, went to bed at about 9 as I was so shattered. Even though they were so young I took them to Mothers and toddlers as I had to get out and talk to an adult. I used to put them in a double buggy and just walk.
I know its hard but you do get thought it somehow.

taking notes cause I'll be in EXACTLY the same position in febuary arrrrrrrrrrrgh

my ds is 8 weeks and dd is nearly two. at the beginning it was hard because ds was constantly attached to my breast and felt like i was isolating dd.

ds has now become more settled and dd will sit and chat to to ds in baby language and he coos back to her.

ive been going to toddler group which gives dd time to run around and me to sit and chat, ds sits and looks around.

with cleaning, do bits at a time, i do the laundry once a day, i'll clean a bit in the morning, with dd messing up after 5 mins and if i havent fallen asleep again in the evening.#

give it a few weeks for everything to settle and you'll find yourself multi tasking very easily. good luck

10mths aprt Kidstrack? Feck!

So basically the secret is being super organised and getting out of the house? I am planning to go out twice a day so that I am not stuck at home going mental, and I am lucky that DS1 still has a 2 hour nap at lunchtime, so eventually I will try and engineer it so that they both nap at the smae time (said IGW hopefully!)

UI'm going to do everything the night before, including the housework, as I can't let it get out of hand, or I'll feel 10x worse. (DP will be made to do his share though)

yes i know my mum also had one of my sisters and brother just over 9m apart and they are in the same class at school! My sis two boys are the same age for 7weeks!

Jeez, you don;t hang about!!!

Still, if you are going to have more than one, pack em in quick and get it over and done with, I say.

you will be totally fine don't panic. You know there are plenty of us doing the same so let's all hold hands...ahhh... you and I both know cbeebies is the answer for tricky moments. We have also decided now is the perfect time to redecorate house and dh to jobhunt. My ds1 has taken 12 weeks to get used to being more gentle with ds2, now just need to teach him how to be quiet. I said QUIET!

I found the key was getting out and also having enough sleep. I used to BF lying on the bed while DD had her nap and before I knew it DS was in a routine of having a nap after lunch and I would wake before him and have some headspace.
I used to go out every morning to some activity or other and often arranged to meet up with friends in the afternoon so DD had someone to play with.
Good luck - it's great now they're 3 and 5 and fairly independent and play together while I MN.

CBeebies is the Bolleux.

is that the french for bollocks, igw?

To be honest I found everything much easier when DP went back to work. DS was much more open to helping mummy with DD when Daddy wasn't there to play with.

And to be honest blokes just tend to make the place look messy anyway.

You'll do fine Intergalacticwalrus, it all falls into place pretty quickly.

hi ive got a unsettled 6 week old and a demanding 2.4 yr old. it is v tough but just find a routine thay works for you.
dd has become a disney dvd addict as it keeps her quiet in the mornings and evenings otherwise get out of the house. we take walks to the park, go to every mother and toddler group going and annoy anyone we know is off work.
in regards to you lo showing too much interest, cant help you there as were the same.
ds sleeps upstairs behind a stair gate and there is no way i can leave them together so i tend to take older dd with me upstairs etc. shes a bit too loving and wants to cuddle ds while strangling him, hes got scrams on his face where i told her off for leaning her head on his so she scrammed him instead. oh and hes generally covered in dinner where dd insists on kissing him all the time. i dont think the novelty will where off for a while but at least soon they wont be quite so fragile.
re housework- i try and get bits done when ds is quiet and dd watching tv, i never get to clean the house in one go anymore.

Well, DS1 is out with my Mum at Bristol Zoo today, he'll be back shortly.

Had 2 hours this morning, just the 3 of us. It was a bloody nightmare. If I even take my eyes off DS1 for a nanosecond, he tries to hit DS2. Poor DS2's face has been sctratched to ribbons.

How do I stop DS1 beating his baby brother to a pulp without shouting??? DS1 is still a baby himself, and I don;t want to spend all day with a frown on my boat-race.

We have an all day 8am-6.30pm session tomorrow. I think I will be at the wine by 11 oclock if this morning is anything to go by.

Aim for that combined nap asap; have a really early lunch yourself, something simple, then feed boys and hopefully they'll sleep and so might you, without worrying that you've still got your lunch to sort out. I had a 20m gap 1st time around, but coped by having that break in the day.

DS1 is a pretty good napper, and DS2 sleeps all day, so that's not really a problem. It's just when I am feeding DS2 ets, that DS1 gets all punchy! I tried reading DS1 stories while feeding this morning, but it didn't stop him.