Just joined bit nervous!-toddler speech delay

[Rubycat321]

Hi, I've just joined Mums net after having a bad day with my eldest son who has a speech delay. He is 3 in August and only has a handful of words. He moans a lot and points etc babbles in his own language. Gets very frustrated with everyone. I've got lots more to say but just wondered if anyone was in the same situation :( thank you in advance xxxx

Absolutely, Panda.

If her DC is frustrated and she is concerned then yes of course follow it up. I chose not to be bullied into putting my toddler into therapy because she couldn't talk on cue when they wanted. My anecdote perhaps wasn't helpful but I wanted to add my experience as OP asked. If I was concerned then I'd have forced my child into therapy.

Wow is this AIBU?

Sorry but why are you so negative about speech therapy?

Bullied, forced, you make it sound like a punishment.

We are lucky that there is help available for Dcs that need it, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

lumiona, people are disagreeing with you. Politely.

The operative word being polite.

Are you shocked that people might disagree with you?

Also, using words like 'bullied into putting my toddler into therapy' 'forced into therapy' betray an ignorance of the reality of early interventions.

So no, your posts are not helpful, but do seem to betray a certain prejudice against early intervention for speech delay, which IMO is not helpful at all.

QTpie Fanjo's posts have absolutely not changed.

Lumiona
I don't think you have ever attended a professional SaLT appointment? Am I right? My children like it. No forcing required.

And as a parent who herself required speech therapy which she didn't receive, I know a lot about what actually constitutes poor treatment of children with speech problems.

If this were in AIBU I might well be suggesting that your resistance to early interventions could spark concern about neglecting your children's real needs in order to bolster your idea of your self as a non competitive, chilled mother to the point of actual harm.

Sorry I havn't read the whole thread, fanjo gave good advice, we have been in the same situation as fanjo ( as she knows ), my dd was non verbal at 3, we were referred to speech and language just after her 2 year check up, we already had one dd diagnosed on the autistic spectrum so 2nd time we were referred much faster. Of course dd2 also had other ASD traits ( poor eye contact and sensory issues ) but the speech delay was causing the most problems, we were lucky to get help early on in the was of a great so each therapist who referred dd to a specialist nursery that had staff trained in 'speech and language' and 'autism', not long after her 3rd birthday she started to talk, she's now 8 years old and has a huge vocabulary but often choses not to use it ( due to the autism ) but we no longer have the frustration of not being able to communicate.

Take as much help and therapy as you can, it may be a case of 'he will find his voice and will be fine' my friends little boy was referred 6 months ago at the age of 3, Autism was mentioned and his speech was not great, he's now 4 and he doesn't shut up, has been signed off from speech and language and they no longer suspect ASD.

I think its fabulous that intervention is available if required. My point which I appear to failing to make is that not all delayed children need it and surely that's a waste of valuable NHS resources. Simply because the guidelines (which change all the time) say so.
OP, I hope you manage to find the help you need to help your DS. Sorry that I derailed your thread, it wasn't my intention.

But nobody can tell which child be will ok without intervention and which will not.

Hence the need for proper assessment. That is not a waste of resources. It is absolutely focussing resources where they should be focussed. On the child.

Guildlines don't really change substantively all the time.

As pointed out elsewhere, a handful of words for a three year old is way out of the ball park for normal development.

Just to clarify, MNHQ haven't altered or edited anyone's posts.

Being ona waiting list is not a waste of resources.

My ds is 23 months and behind, developmentally. He is on the waiting list for SALT. he has been on the list for 5 months already, with no sign of the parent empowerment workshop looming anytime soon. I need to jump through this hoop to access the next level of help for ds (such is the game of waiting lists).

If, miraculously, by the time the hopeless workshop rolls around, ds no longer needs help, I will take myself off the list, thus freeing the place for someone else. If he does still need help, I will attend, and ds can go on the next list.

By the time we even get close to 'proper' intervention, it will have been at least 18 months, I reckon. Again, if he doesn't need the help, we don't go - no waste of resources. If he does, the. We might still squeeze some help in before he starts school.

There is no benefit to waiting and seeing. There is potential benefit from being on waiting lists, and no waste of resources as no one goes to therapy/intervention of it isn't actually needed.

Thanks everybody I'm already loving the support from this group. I have heard of that DVD squidgers mummy and was planning to buy it at the end of the month! Hopefully it will help!
He gad his child development check with paediatrician today and it went very well. He did all the 'tests' she asked of him and wants to see him again in 6 months. She has ruled out global delay and said that it's unlikely to be ASD but has put him on waiting list anyway as it's a year long! She said of he does have ASD then it's very mild. Feeling a bit more positive but still worried. Xxx

That sounds really positive! Good for you. I know its worrying, but the more clarity you have, the more control you will feel, which really helps.

Thats good Rubycat. Welcome to MN x

"there is also NOTHING horrible about speech therapy, i had to have it because of a very bad lisp, i never remember it being taxing or nasty.. it was fun. ""..

Mmmm we will have to disagree on that one. My DD had a very bad experience.

My DD2 is 3.4 and has a significant speech delay, although in her case we know the underlying reason (she's deaf) (although her SALT did float very tentatively the fact that we can't absolutely rule out other additional issues at this stage). Her sign is better than her speech, but she still gets very frustrated.

And in terms of understanding/receptive language she can follow simple single-part instructions or comments about the recent past/present/immediate future. She can't follow multi-part instructions or understand when we are talking about the past or future, or comprehend more abstract conversation.

Just as a matter of interest, I assume you've had his hearing checked? These days most children with hearing issues get picked up by the newborn screening but I've met a few whose deafness was missed at that point and not picked up until they were two and not speaking.

He has been checked for glue ear but couldn't complete the other part of the test so is being referred somewhere else x
Thank u for ur message x the bit about understanding sounds exactly like my son

Well done Rubycat - keep pushing for the speech therapy though as he may need it. If it gets to the point where he is offered it and doesn't require it, then you can withdraw and the service will be offered to the next child. Please don't 'wait and see' or your ds may well have a long wait and crucial time may be lost. In the meantime, have a look at strategies to support his communication.

Thank you crystal skulls, he has had 5 sessions on NHS and done very well but since going private he hasn't progressed as well. She said he was too young to cope with one one to one but today at the check the doctor thought his listening and attention one to one were very good. On reflection, the SALT comes to our house and I think he has too many other distractions and doesn't engage with her for that reason. Today was completely unfamiliar and he did really well x

Well, the ones my children have seen are lovely. If the OP finally gets to SaLT and finds that the therapist uses physical force, she can walk out then, but it would seem best to go along and see, first.

Our local ones use games, toys, pictures and such, not physical force.

My children also had the hearing tests with noises and a little boat, so maybe the OP's local SaLT provision is just like ours, too?

He has a speech therapist but it's £60 an hour! Also NHS only offered us five sessions :(