Just joined bit nervous!-toddler speech delay

[Rubycat321]

Hi, I've just joined Mums net after having a bad day with my eldest son who has a speech delay. He is 3 in August and only has a handful of words. He moans a lot and points etc babbles in his own language. Gets very frustrated with everyone. I've got lots more to say but just wondered if anyone was in the same situation :( thank you in advance xxxx

Also he doesn't sound particularly like he has ASD traits to me :)

But I just had to say people with ASD are just as loving and kind and have empathy, hate that misconception. My daughter is most loving girl ever.

I hope the check goes well, I know these things are stressful.

Good luck

Well said Fanjo.

Funny I don't think it's helpful to come onto a thread bringing doom either but that's not going to stop some.

Well gamer.

I could have just been fluffy and said don't worry just sit tight.

But that's not best for the OP or her son in long term.

I knew I might get flamed by some such as you.

But thought it worth the risk to get OP to push for speech therapy.

Sorry on school run so no time to read whole thread,

My Son had delayed speech..they did drop in sessions at the childrens sessions which were really useful.

One thing that really helped was using a sign a week with a word to help him acquire language.

One of the other things I realise looking back was a talked and talked in the hope he would speak but didn't give enough space for him to speak.

He was assessed by s therapy who said he was following normal pattern of learning but behind. One day with some young girl children all chatting he joined in.

Now he is 7 you would not no any difference from any other childs speech

"He sounds great but some kids do need extra input to get them talking and they don't all 'just get there in own time'
"

I don't agree. Some kids are late talkers no matter what.

My kids were late- 3- 3.5 years before their first word. We were referred to SALT but it was next to useless, my DD would come away in tears.

Therapist ( NHS) would pull on my DDs tounge and shout at her, in the end she refused to go. She had plenty input at home.
Eventaully my kids did talk- my son is now the chairman of the debating society at his seconadry school and has a particular gift for the spoken word.

I said some kids need extra input.

Yours got there in the end but doesnt mean all do.

My child is nearly 8 and non verbal.

So..some kids dont just get there without speech therapy.

Im off to work.

Good luck today OP.

Ask for SaLT :)

Good luck with the paed check. I agree with fanjo about pushing a bit more re salt, and am a bit baffled that her sensible advice is seen as doom peddling. Salt may be able to offer group therapy or a hanen course, just to say he is too young for one to one is a bit unhelpful of them. This may seem a funny question but can he sing nursery rhymes etc ok, just asking as sometimes kids have a physical problem making speech sounds.

Also thinking of you today, Ruby. As families we all do our own journeys - these aren't always easy but our children are fortunate in that they have parents like us to advocate for them. I did a similar journey to you (and have a good little golfer on my hands now!) and you are welcome to pm me if that would help. Whatever the results today, you will scoop up your ds and find a way through. There is lots of support out here and people will be along to sign post. Try and take care of yourself in ths process.

Qt you meant well but I don't believe it was helpdul. Sorry.

Am at work so cant debate.

Good luck OP.

Is your ego bashed? Sorry. It wasnt personal.

I agree with Fanjo.

Some children catch up fine in their own time, but the Doctor and his TARDIS won't be dropping round to help you go back in time, if your child isn't one of those children.

And sometimes, "helpfulness" is giving people back-up against the army of people who pop up to tell you that you're worrying about nothing, and need to relax.

Good luck OP.

Anecdotes about "my child did X, Y and Z" are neither helpful or relevant.

They are simply anecdotes. About one child. A child who is not the OP's child.

Some children need SaLT intervention, some don't. The OP's health practitioners will decide whether hers does or not. No-one is scaremongering and bringing doom and gloom. How utterly silly to say so. Just because your child did turn into Einstein at the age of 3 doesn't mean mine, or the OP's will.

Quite right Tilly. A dear friend of mine (our children grew up bilingually together) had doubts about her son's speech and everyone convinced her it was the old (and incorrect) "it's because he's bilingual" rubbish.

He is now 11 and finally they have been convinced that intervention is needed. Such a shame that non-experts manage to convince her otherwise years ago.

OP, I wouldn't hang around if your dc has already been flagged for SALT. Imo, there is no such thing as a child (especially at 3!) who is too little for 1:1 targetted SALT - find a different therapist.

I don't htink it is ever helpful to do the 'wait and see' approach wrt development. get yourself on waiting lists, and get yourself (and your dc!) seen. if it turns out you don't need the intervention when your turn (eventually) comes around, then all well and good - nothing lost. But if your dc is not one who will just suddenly start talking at age 3.6, or 4, or 5, or whenever, then you will need the help. and it is better to get on the (usually ridiculaously long) waiting lists now, rather than be put on them at school age and still need to wait 18 motnhs to be seen.

my ds is 23 months. he has already been seen by a developemental paed, because he failed the M-Chat at 18 months. he is on the list for SALT (althought the first round is a 'parent empowerment workshop' so will be worse than useless) because he had no discenible words at 18 months, and still doesn't have enough at nearly 2. I'm buggered if he will be overlooked, and get no help.

intervention should not be stressful (and certainly doesn't have to be) - find a different therapist if it is, but don't refuse help.

I know exactly how you are feeling OP.

Have you checked the roof and back of his mouth ? In my experience a minor deformity in that area can cause issues.

Ive come to terms that my child may never have a normal voice, but he can communicate fairly well now. There are some sounds he can't say - they may come but its not a given.

In my opinion its all about confidence. If you can't understand a sentence ask no more than twice for them to repeat it. Any more than that only leads to frustration and they may refuse to speak - and practice is what that need.

Wish you much strength to get through this together

DS has verbal dyspraxia, trouble processing and word finding. I knew something was wrong from about 2.5. And pushed for SaLT intevention. Sadly then the turnaround on appointments was about 18 months, and I didn't have mn telling me how to go about getting a timely intervention for him. He suffered for years in school.

Early intervention if you can get it is key to minimising any kind of delay or issue with children. Younger the better, so it is never best to wait and see.

And QT, being rude and posting with leaden sarcasm helps no one, least of all the OP you purport to support. Fanjo is talking sense, not posting the maudlin, aw hun you no ur babz best meme.

As for egos, I am sorry but your reaction does speak very much shouting down a differing voice for the sake of it, by being personal and attacking.

OP, get your DC down to the GP asap and get a referral for auditory testing, check for any organic reasons (ie glue ear) mouth formation etc, muscle tone. Worth also pushing for an OT assessment as well as a SaLT one.

And to be another doommonger, my poor little ds had a terrible time at primary, he was virtually unintelligable, had a bit of not very useful SaLT group intervention. He is now 14 and his speech is noticably different to his peers, stutters, stammers, hesitancy.

Happily he is also very funny and bright in all the top sets so I hope that his disability won't hold him back too much. Diagnosis at 9 however was way way too late for him/

MadameDefarge sorry to hear that your ds had such a hard time, it's great that he is doing so well now though. My ds also has VD, and was diagnosed last year. We pushed for him to be seen by SLTs who initially wouldn't listen, telling us that of course he is slow, he's a boy, he's bilingual, Einstien didn't speak until he was three blah blah blah.

Early diagnosis at age four has certainly helped my ds get the therapy and educational statement he needs.

Rubycat321 I agree with what the others are saying, get him on waiting lists, look for a SLT/paed who will listen to you.

Thanks Kelda! Funnily enough he loves drama, and when he does a learnt piece he is absolutely fluent! It was a revelation. Clearly learnt speech goes by a different, undamaged neural pathway or summat!

OP, what you said about your ds not liking groups of people really resonates. Part of dyspraxia is oversensitivity to loud sounds, loud group sounds etc.

Obviously I am suggesting thinking about this because of my ds, but in general speech issues can be part of a wider issue, worth bearing in mind.

Yes verbal dyspraxia is more then just a speech problem.

I had years of SLT myself, to the point where they said they just couldn't help me any more (was never diagnosed with anything). I then started elocution lessons and my speech improved because my expressive ability improved.

I am hoping to get ds into singing lessons because he loves singing and music, and I think it will help his breathing/articulation in ways that SLT doesn't.