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Original poster

Can we start a mnet movement to ban party bags?

412 replies

bubble99 · 29/08/2006 20:18

Back in the dark ages, when I was a girl, we sometimes got an extra piece of birthday cake in a paper napkin to take home.

When did this 'party bag' nonsense start? From what I can see most of it is (expensive) junk and, what offends me more, is that the guests look for it.

Am I an old skinflint/curmudgeon? No honest answers required.

FGS, most parents have already forked-out for the food and the makeover/clown/entertainer/ unicycling jugglers, as it is. Isn't that enough?

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Original poster
bubble99 · 29/08/2006 23:53

Southy. Can I call you Southy?

Yes, I did. But I wouldn't expect to be given some when I left a party.

OP posts:
ghosty · 29/08/2006 23:54

I had a namechange Flamesparrow ... it didn't work so I went back to being ghosty - was poopy for a while and it was weird weird weird ... like I suddenly became invisible ...

exrebel · 29/08/2006 23:55

being from a different country where party bags are virtually unknown, I always wanted to ask why ohn why do you give your young guests presents/gift in the form of a party bag? it is not their party or birthday! it's yoour child!! it is a rethorical question, I admit.

I have been away for so long from mumsnet, not read the whole thread, please forgve if you have moved on.

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Flamesparrow · 29/08/2006 23:55

Oooh I'm remembering poopy.... Ghosty is just you though.

sallystrawberry · 29/08/2006 23:56

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Original poster
bubble99 · 30/08/2006 00:02

No apologies needed, exrebel. Things don't tend to 'move on' at too fast a rate at this time of night here.

Weird concept, indeed.

Invite a child to a party. Feed, water and entertain them and then give them a present, in addition to any prizes they may have won for winning party games, to take home?

IMHO the parents of the birthday boy/girl are the only people who deserve a reward.

OP posts:
exrebel · 30/08/2006 00:11

thanks bubble99. and from long threads seen about ideas on party bags content, it seems that mums end up worrying about the guests more than the most important person, the birthdayee.

ah life is too stressful as it is.

sallystrawberry · 30/08/2006 00:14

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

southeastastra · 30/08/2006 00:14

i don't see the problem, we've always had party bags since the 70s just don't try to compete with each other

exrebel · 30/08/2006 00:22

sallystrawberry, i did not mean it that way. I will rephrase: it seems there is quite a lot of thought going into them and from the party bags i have seen, it must have taken a significant amount of time and effort.

better not try to be humorous next time.
I am not very good at it

southeastastra · 30/08/2006 00:24

it is so funny that party bags divide so well on mn!

suedonim · 30/08/2006 01:36

The scariest party bags I've ever come across were those given out in Indonesia, where we lived for a while. They sometimes contained a live baby rabbit or a dove!!!!

fussymummy · 30/08/2006 01:51

I love having parties for my children, and we all make the party bags together.

I've never put fossils in them though, think they'd get thrown at me!!!!

Next, you'll be saying to the guests not to bring a presesnt for the birthday boy/girl!!!!

All the kids we invite love their party bags on the way out.

I do agree that some parents overdo the sweets and tat. And yes i do find some bits in the car and on the floors indoors and yes it does annoy me.

arfishymeau · 30/08/2006 02:45

For DD's first birthday I just did party bags for the adults:

Contents:

2 alcoholic minatures
Cote d'or chocolate
Retro sweets
Mini champagne bottle of bubbles
Slice of birthday cake

Oddly enough, I didn't hear a single person complain

Alibaldi · 30/08/2006 03:52

I love party bags, but then I always entertain at home, good food is not that expensive and make my own cake (boys expect it). Party games in the back yard and that's it. USA is geared up to party bags mind you and you can pick up really great little toys for next to nothing. Love the idea of the bag for adults. Think I'll do that next time.

suzywong · 30/08/2006 03:59

I didn't do them at ds1's 5th party, there was a great big F off bouncy castle in the garden - what more did they want?
I did have an assortment of sweeties and party blowers which I dished out to each kids during the last 10 minutes of the party so they weren't eating on the way home

I LOATHE party bags! Is it not a mean act to send a hyper child home with a bag of sugar, I mean mean to the parents?

Doing books is a very good idea hula

lazycow · 30/08/2006 06:12

God this is a minefield

I am already dreading ds's birthdays and he isn't two yet.

On principle I hate party bags but will probably do them anyway as the kids seem to like them.
The main reason I hate them is not that they are full of shite\tat etc which they often are, but because it seems to upset so many of the mothers in this exact way.

Moat people are just doing a party bag to be nice and because they dont want their children to be different\left out of things. If you don't want to do them don't.

If you have a strong reason for objecting to specific content (sweets, plastic etc) why not ask what is in the party bags beforehand and ask for the offending item to be removed. You could always provide a small item yourself that you think is appropriate for your child to replace it if you feel so inclined.

As for moondog's story of children rummaging in rubbish .

eidsvold · 30/08/2006 06:22

I recently did party bags for dd1's 4th b'day party.

Each child had a little gift bag with a small pkt of coloured pencils, a little notebook, a decorated door hanger that they made at the party, balloon, whistle, little finger puppets for the boys, bracelet and ring for the girls, stickers and a little pkt of jelly beans. Had one little girl who is not allowed sweeties so she had none in her bag.

I did have good reports back that the kids loved their door hangers and the bags. The mums told me how glad they were not to have to try and stop them eating a tonne of sweets.
Really did not cost very much at all.

I wanted to give out little bags but did not want to just fill it with rubbish so did that.

eidsvold · 30/08/2006 06:26

having said that - we had party in the local park - they ahd crisps and drinks for a mtea and then early lunch of sandwiches and a lamington. Then a cupcake from the birthday cake. Not lots of sweets at my party. Dd1's best friend can't have lots of sweet things and junk food and her mum was so pleased she did not have spend the whole time saying - no XX you can't eat that, no xx you have to have this.

Did a spread of nibbly food for the adults but that was it.

No big deal. Birthday cake and making sandwiches took the most time.

batters · 30/08/2006 06:53

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curlew · 30/08/2006 07:04

I hate the "where's my party bag?" attitude too. What I do is try to compromise - like the good guardianreading pinko that I am. For example, dd once had a circus party with an entertainer who taught them some circus skills. I bought from him at a HUGE discount plate spinning plates and sticks and each child got one to take home. That was when she was 5 - she's now 10 and several of her friends have still got them. We've also done those little boxed practical jokes, and also the magic tricks. And last year for DS we hired a helium baloon blowing up kit and the children could choose a balloon and help blow it up as they left. I don't do sweets - just a bit of cake.

throckenholt · 30/08/2006 07:17

too long a thread to read at the moment - so in response to the original question.

I hate them too - with a passion. I tried to do something different this year - had games and a lucky dip bag - whoever won a game got to take something from the lucky dip, and put it in a bag with their name on to take home. the only problem was my bunch of 5 year olds would not play the games, and just raided the lucky dip bag until I put it on a high shelf (someone else opened all Ds's presents and we had no idea who gave him what ). Still I think it was a much better approach than party bags.

fatfox · 30/08/2006 07:36

Eivsvold - Hi there - Wots a Lamington?

I hate party bags - agree they are a complete waste of money and usually full of rubbish. Problem is, the children LOVE them soooooooooo much

What to do eh?

I welcome all the ideas for alternatives, I really do!

My other pet hate is children's entertainers at parties. They cost too much, are nausiating and having them means the children all sit there passively staring at the entertainer, instead of socialising together. DS wanted a "Mad Science Bod" this year - cost £200 for 1 hour!!!!

The answer was NO

YeahBut · 30/08/2006 08:35

I don't mind party bags as long as they are not full of the aforementioned tat. A couple of mini mars, a balloon and some bubbles are fantastic because all the kids can share it. Hate the bags that are just full of sweets or crappy whistles and bells. Bags are frisked for noisy items before driving home!!!

kitbit · 30/08/2006 08:46

Haven't got to the world of party bags yet as ds isn't 2 yet, however remember when I was a kid we would win prizes for games and do treasure hunts and the stuff we won/found etc would be put in a bag with our name on along with a piece of birthday cake and any left over fairy cakes/sausage rolls etc so that made the going home bag you took with you at the end. Maybe there would be a little toy in with it, but didn't really need it as you already had your cake and little prizes. My mum used to make badges for each child with their names on and piles of glitter and shiny dangly bits (she was useless at remembering names even though there would be only about 6 of us!) so the badge would go in as well, plus a balloon taken from the party table and tied onto the bag at going home time.

ah, nostalgia!

Agree though that it's not good that kids expect these things. Having said that I will probably still do them though as I love making up pressies and surprises, at least while ds is still little and the rest of the party is likely not to have cost and arm and a leg!