Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Can we start a mnet movement to ban party bags?

412 replies

bubble99 · 29/08/2006 20:18

Back in the dark ages, when I was a girl, we sometimes got an extra piece of birthday cake in a paper napkin to take home.

When did this 'party bag' nonsense start? From what I can see most of it is (expensive) junk and, what offends me more, is that the guests look for it.

Am I an old skinflint/curmudgeon? No honest answers required.

FGS, most parents have already forked-out for the food and the makeover/clown/entertainer/ unicycling jugglers, as it is. Isn't that enough?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Jimjams2 · 30/08/2006 19:42

I like your method monkey- may steal it

Gillian76 · 30/08/2006 23:59

I like doing party bags.

The kids like getting them. Yes, they probably do expect them, just like they expect to sing "Happy Birthday". It's not that they're ungrateful wretches, we have taught them to expect them. Just like we have taught them to expect presents on their own birthdays and at Christmas.

Anyway, I do object to the plastic 'tat' and as such avoid giving anything that would end up in the bin chez nous.

And the sweets... They don't have to eat them all at once. My kids are generally allowed to have one small thing after the party and the rest gets rationed. They know this and they ask what they can have rather than scoffing the lot in the car on the way home.

Just a bit of fun IMO and for what it's worth I do have a DD with allergies and neither she nor I get upset about what she can/can't have.

Think we need to lighten up a bit...

Original poster
bubble99 · 31/08/2006 00:11

I did start this thread with the intention of some fairly light-hearted discussion. It has moved on since then.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
fussymummy · 31/08/2006 01:01

Its my birthday today, maybe i should make some party bags for anyone who drops by with a presie for me!!!!!!

batters · 31/08/2006 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarsLady · 31/08/2006 10:06

It's okay bubble99........ I know you did babe and I entered it lightly with you (though I really don't them!)

sarah33 · 31/08/2006 11:33

I hate party bags but seem to be in this catch 22 situation. I take my son to parties & gets a party bag the same children then come to my ds birthday & expect the same bag in return. However I refuse to put in sweets & tend to put in healthy alternatives ie packet of raisins etc. When it comes to toys instead of the plastic ones that are likely to break I put in a small packet of crayons & a little note pad. Plus obviously the standard piece of birthday cake. They all take away a balloon as well. I think thats enough.

Spinkles · 31/08/2006 14:01

Good afternoon ladies! in a book i read recently, they suuggest planting a sunflower or something at the party and they can take that away instead? Green and fun I suppose but defo need cake!

PS new to mumsnet so i don't understand all the acronyms in use - is there a set written down somewhere?!

laudaud · 31/08/2006 14:09

acronym list on top of page - usefull stuff...

Fubsy · 31/08/2006 21:20

I liked making up party bags until dd started school. 4 girls in her class all turned 5 in the same week, so we decided to have a joint party at local play farm. Then invited entire school (small village school, 49 kids). Then had to allow for other friends and relations. Result - packing 60 party bags with bits and pieces brought by 4 different bags, trying to make boys ones and girls ones and in between ones. Didn't see dd all night. BTW if party bags bother people - what about the £75 entertainer? My friend spent nearly £200 on a disco for her ds's 5th. Mind you she put sunflower seeds and a washed out yougurt pot in her party bags.

Upsadaisy · 31/08/2006 21:27

I don't like party bags but my kids love them except they forget about them as soon as we get home.

anniebear · 31/08/2006 21:36

I haven't read all the thread, but that is so funny

I was thinking of starting a post on how did party bags come about?

Why when it is your childs birthday do you have to send the others home with bags of goodies??!!!

Sorry, probably repeating whats already been said!

anniebear · 31/08/2006 21:41

and you end up with those jelly sweets in them coz they are the cheapest!!!! lol

izzybiz · 01/09/2006 01:48

I did party bags at Dds party and shes only 2!
Its just a bit of fun, all they had was a tiny toy, some stickers, alittle choclate, and a balloon.

They love it and i enjoy doing it.

mummydoc · 01/09/2006 10:55

for all those who have said they don't really like them but feel obliged because their dc have been to parties and got them - i say " just stop" i did 2 parties ago and funnily enough most parents in my DD1 social circle/school group have stopped then too....i don't feel guilty at the end of the party at all. they all get a balloon from the decorations and a piece of cake and my dd1 always says thankyou for coming and thankyou for my present as they leave ...absolutely enoug h i feel. if other parents want to do them that is fine but i really don't feel obliged at all. my dd1 starts a new school next week and has already been to 2 parties this summer of her new class mates , 1 had bags ( full of expensive stuff) another a peice of cake ...

Becca32 · 01/09/2006 12:27

Hall Hire £30
Dodgy bloke dressed as clown £150
Party outfit for birthday boy £20
Making cake in shape of army tank £10 (plus 12 manhours)
Decorating hall with balloons and streamers £5
Invites £5
Tea for 30 screaming hyperactive kids £20
Nervous breakdown priceless

AND they want party bags too????!!! HELL NO!

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 01/09/2006 12:31

I think there is a nascent movement out there - dds' recent parties they got a mini bag of sweets, piece of cake and a balloon. and there weren't any howls. went to another one recently where there was no bags, just one iddy biddy present.

Elibean · 01/09/2006 13:41

Yes, dd went to a party (she's only 2, but friend was 4) and all the kids got a book and a piece of cake to take home. And no howls, and the Mums were happy.

casbie · 01/09/2006 16:16

the thing is with the plastic toys is i have to vet the party bags coming into the house, because of baby. i hate party bags, but hubby is dead keen! for lottie's party, i gave them all flower galands (it was a mermaid party down the beach). did get a few children saying 'where's the party bag?' and i cheerfully said 'you don't need a party bag when you have a lovely flower garland'...silence! one girl went home with loads of them she liked them so much!

tiggerrmummy · 01/09/2006 21:28

I am dreading the first time my LOs go to other kids parties and then we have to have them in return. As a kid I remember sickly foods, big kids winning all the prizes and lots of tears! I know its all part of modern growing up, but I am going to be avoiding kids parties and party bags like the plague.
someone said its an american thing, yeah well and Halloween trick or treat doesnt translate very well either.
(ps this is my first post here so be gentle with me! )

motshedi · 01/09/2006 22:26

Why plastic bags. Use paper sandwich bags, v cheap. Ask your children to help decorate them so they can feel they are helping prepare for the party. After christmas, there are loads of fun cheap toys available. My top 5 best party "bag" contents for under £2:
-mini- picture books (great for trips)
-little flowering pot plants (learn to be green)
-a decorate your own pencil case with glue pens
-stuffed dalmation( have to love primark)
-huge tin with cookbook, cutters, rolling pin

We love doing them as a family and our only rule is that the girls insist there are enough for them too.

I use the little creativity I have on the party bag and have never yet had to have entertainer.

Long live the parents as entertainer.

noseymum · 02/09/2006 09:08

I agree with so much of what other posters have said.

In my day (god that makes me sound much older than I really am lol), birthday parties were a party at my house. Mum made a cake and some food. We had the normal party games - pin the tail on the donkey, musical statues, pass the parcel. There was none of this everyone has to win something 'cr@p'. 1 prize for each game. None of this 'something between each wrapping' of the pass the parcel. No party bag. Then you were just excited about being invited to the party, eating the food and being given a peice of cake as you left. None of this 'outdoing' each other. Having to spend out loads of money on bouncy castles, entertainers etc. To my mind they way it's done these days excludes some children who's parents can not afford to compete.

Also in my day you would always send a thank you note to the people who brought you a present. These days people haven't go the manners to ensure that their kids do this. It's so rude. The only reason kids 'expect' party bags (IMO) is because their parents have 'taught' them to!!!!

noseymum · 02/09/2006 09:11

Oh and a thought regarding the 'bring your own food' party. Maybe the parent was concerned re food allergies etc.

Flumpybumpy · 02/09/2006 09:19

Haven't read whole thread so this mat have been mentioned already, but DD went to a party a few eeks agao and on the invite the mother had written: Please be aware that we will not be supplying party bage to take home as we feel this money is better spent given to charity, when you collect your child please write the name of your favoured charity on a slip of paper and post in the box, the charity will then be selected and the money given'.

I thought this was nice idea and all the other mothers I spokem to were so relived their were no party nags they have all agreed to do the same in future.

Flumpybumpy · 02/09/2006 09:20

Sorry, morning typing not at it's best