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Original poster

Can we start a mnet movement to ban party bags?

412 replies

bubble99 · 29/08/2006 20:18

Back in the dark ages, when I was a girl, we sometimes got an extra piece of birthday cake in a paper napkin to take home.

When did this 'party bag' nonsense start? From what I can see most of it is (expensive) junk and, what offends me more, is that the guests look for it.

Am I an old skinflint/curmudgeon? No honest answers required.

FGS, most parents have already forked-out for the food and the makeover/clown/entertainer/ unicycling jugglers, as it is. Isn't that enough?

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beckyndanuk · 30/08/2006 10:06

When my dd was 3 we had a big joint party with 2 other kids. Instead of plastic party bags we gave out little mettle character buckets (which were 20 pence each from a factory reject shop!) and as my friend works for a pharmasutical company we filled them with a tooth brush, tooth paste and a few chocolates. Much better than a plastic bag of bits if I do say so myself!

Parents really need to think about what they put in these things. Pens for example for 2 and 3 year olds (biros I mean) ar really inapropriate

oliveoil · 30/08/2006 10:07

We didn't have a pot to piss in growing up and I always felt different in some way. So I want my children to be just like anyone else and not stand out. So if that means providing party bags of tat and sugar overload, so be it.

Re those party stick things, Selfridges do marshmallow pigs for £1.50 that are very similar, no tag on them however.

Astrophe · 30/08/2006 10:08

i WANT an adults party bag with chocs and red wine and bubble bath and a voucher for free babysitting while I go for a massage in it

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pointydog · 30/08/2006 10:08

I used to organise big events for adults and spent quite a bit of time getting special little gifts for men and women. 'Course they loved it.

pointydog · 30/08/2006 10:10

Ever had Secret Santa at work? Now I love that. Last year I got bath stuff and body chocolate. Made me happy.

Flamesparrow · 30/08/2006 10:10

I'm not against party bags completely ((I am realising as I read this thread) - I am against the amount of stuff that seems to be expected to be in it now.

A piece of cake, a balloon... that is what I remember having, and I loved it. I can't afford anything else, and hate the feeling like I am evil for not being able to give it.

SufferingInSilence · 30/08/2006 10:11

I would feel very strange, out of place and I am not sure that I would be happy about it.
I am not going to see some friends to go back home with something but to enjoy their company.

JimJam, I really never though, as a child, it was normal to go back home with something from a party! I think that our kids are now used to get a lot all the time and that's one of the symptoms. That doesn't make it right.
As a child, I would have been much more happy to go back home with one of these small toys you find in party bags IF I had been playing with it at the party.

SufferingInSilence · 30/08/2006 10:13

JimJam, you are putting a birthday party at the same level than an wedding! I think that were differ.

MrsFio · 30/08/2006 10:14

Its because 'ers religious.

SufferingInSilence · 30/08/2006 10:14

Whereas my comparason was with having a barbecue with some friends!! Would still expect to receive some goodies then?
BTW, haven't received bags at any weddings either

zippitippitoes · 30/08/2006 10:15

pmsl at getting a toothbrush and toothpaste to take home !

ghosty · 30/08/2006 10:19

YAY! For once .... for ONCE ... there is a major big thread in which I was involved from the beginning ... rather than coming in at the end like a big late gate crasher

Jimjams ... am liking the party sticks despite hating party bags

prettybird · 30/08/2006 10:19

SufferinginSilence - I slice up the cake and give it out at the party as well. But often by that stage, the kids are full and/or hyper and more interested in playing, so don't eat much. So giving it to them to take away at least means you are not left with loads! (althugh I am quite happy to finish it off myslef!

SoupDragon · 30/08/2006 10:21

I can not believe you get so het up about it!! Do it, don't do it. Put loads of stuff in, just put in some cake. It really doesn't matter does it?

Of course children expect them because they get them at 99.9% of parties. They expect them in the same way they expect to get birthday cake.

Jimjams2 · 30/08/2006 10:24

It wasn't normal to go home wiith a party bag in our day. So we didn't look for one.

DS2 looks for them because he thinks its part of the party, like cake and singing happy birthday, and like giving a present. He's not that fussed if he doesn't get one, he just gets rather worried that they've forgotton. He enjoys getting one though.

Our children looking for one is nothihg to do with raising selfish brats, it's because 99% of parties provide a party bag, so its routine. If you think that making a stand and not dishing out party bags will teach children about consumerism then do it. It could be used as a nice way oif teaching the birthday child about giving as well as receiving.

I'm not confusing weddings with a kids party- I'm saying that I like receiving a mini bottle of champage in a little bag with my name on when I go to a wedding (and I don't sulk i f I don;'t get that- which is normal). So I'm not surprised that children like bags of tat.

Jimjams2 · 30/08/2006 10:24

oh ha ha crossed posts SD.

MrsFio · 30/08/2006 10:28

I sulk if there is no free wine on the table at a wedding, is that the same thing?

SherlockLGJ · 30/08/2006 10:30

No wine on tables at a wedding the very thought of it.

meowmix · 30/08/2006 10:31

I HATE secret santa. If I wanted to buy that person a present I would, and I'd probably do better than some old tat.

am neutral on party bags. Just think of me as the Switzerland of party planning.

Socci · 30/08/2006 10:48

Message withdrawn

SufferingInSilence · 30/08/2006 11:01

JimJam, I also said that if my child was getting upset if there was no party bag at his birthday party, that's something I would consider.
I just think that what WE are all doing, ie party bag etc... , is a symptoms of a society where a lot of things are readily available and WE are overconsuming.
I am sure you have noticed the WE because I am guilty of that too.
I really think we are going over the top, that in other countries there is nothing like that and children still enjoy themselves. And that we are used to have a lot of things that we don't need. But I am probably sounding like an awfull conservative grumpy old fashion woman by now . Just wish that my children learn to enjoy simple things, like having fun with firends, instead of relying on 'stuff' to be happy.

DelGirl · 30/08/2006 11:09

dd went to her 1st proper party the other day. She's 16 mths, the birthday boy was 3. It never even crossed my mind about party bags, why would it, but the host had done individual ones to suit each child. It was really thoughtful. I suppose there were about 10 children in all of various ages. I thought it was lovely. I'm enjoying the bottle of bubbles more than dd though .

However, each to their own I always say and if you don't want to do them it's fine and no-one should expect one. After all, I should think most childrens' parties take a fair bit of organising. Not had a 'proper' one for dd yet. I held a 'party' for her 1st birthday but that was all my family and friends with just a couple of young children, though more younger children were invited but couldn't make it. God i'm rambling, I really should go and get dressed!!!!

laudaud · 30/08/2006 11:20

we've had lots of party bags this year from nursery for DD (1year). Half the stuff would be choking hazards to a child that age.

The Nursery staff actually gave her little books about £1 each which she absolutely loves.

She's enjoyed the little boxes of raisins but they send her loopy. I've enjoyed the haribos

mummydoc · 30/08/2006 11:25

just joined in as been away on hols - i took a stand 2 yrs ago against party bags, now kids get a balloon ( taken from decorations) and a piece of the cake. and i have not had one child complain/wail/ask where the party bag is....i agree with everyone who has posted so far saying the bloody party cost enough why provide a present to take home ??? it isn't the guests birhtday is it.

Twinkie1 · 30/08/2006 11:27

I just did presents at DDs last year - just a writing set from Wilkos for 75p (reduced from £3!) each and a little chocolate bar - this year did party bags as DD shared her birthday with another little boy whose mum HAD to do party bags!!!

I think they are a waste as I always chuck most of what is i them because I don't want that junk in the house and keep the chocolate which DD usually forgets about leaving DS and I to eat it!!

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