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Parenting

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Original poster

Is going from 1 to 2 children much harder than having first?

55 replies

PickledSprout · 26/04/2014 09:02

Am pregnant with DC 2 and everyone seems very eager to tell me how much more difficult adjusting to life with two children will be. Much harder than having your first apparently. Does this ring true? I am suffering with morning sickness at the moment and already feel like a rubbish mum to DC1 who wants to play with me while I vomit!

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BikeRunSki · 26/04/2014 09:05

Oh yes, Second dc absolutely sidelined me.

I'd go on, but am just off to juggle 2 swimming lessons, a sports session and birthday parties.

Weegiemum · 26/04/2014 09:08

yes, 0-1 was fine, 2-3 i hardly noticed.

1-2 totally floored me (2 years apart). that might have been the ongoing pnd, though!

NormHonal · 26/04/2014 09:09

On the plus side, having done it all before with DC1, I found myself much more confident in trusting my instincts with DC2 and didn't run to the GP or Health Visitor with every little thing.

I also knew that everything is just a phase and will pass, which made the sleepless nights a bit more bearable.

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RhondaJean · 26/04/2014 09:10

No not at all.

I did have an almost five year gap which meant dd1 was quite self sufficient in terms of dressings toileting etc when dd2 came along but it was much easier than the first time to be honest, I knew what I was doing so I was more relaxed, it was nothing like the culture shock of bringing home the first one and realising you have no idea at all what you are doing.

ilovepowerhoop · 26/04/2014 09:11

I found it easier as I knew what to expect 2nd time round. DS had to fit in around our routine with dd and I learned from any mistakes made with dd as to what may work in terms of sleeping/feeding, etc.

DD (PFB) was a total shock to my system/way of life and nothing ever prepares you for that. I was more confident with DS and coped better afterwards.

You do have to juggle activities but thats ok too.

TheNumberfaker · 26/04/2014 09:11

It's just different. You have all the confidence of doing it for the second time but coupled with the inconvenience of having a toddler to cope with too!

ilovepowerhoop · 26/04/2014 09:12

p.s. there were 3 years between my 2 and dd was out of nappies when ds was born so that was good too. She used to fetch nappies/wipes, etc for me and was my little helper

PookBob · 26/04/2014 09:12

I don't think it was harder, just more. Once DC1 turned 1yr I felt like I was starting to get a bit of 'me' back, more time in the evenings and a clearer head. DC2 arrived and then there was no me-time anymore!

The hardest bit for me was getting over the guilt of leaving one to tend the other, even if only for a minute.

Curlygirly · 26/04/2014 09:13

0-1 children was the hardest.
1-2 was OK. I knew what to expect.
2-3 was easiest. Until now when they all have a social life!

SweepTheHalls · 26/04/2014 09:14

I found it much easier life had already completely changed! a double buggy was needed but other than that! all the routines pretty much continued!

BrianTheMole · 26/04/2014 09:14

0 to 1: very difficult. 1 to 2: not too bad, just a bit more work.

Bunnytheeggrobat · 26/04/2014 09:14

No. 0-1 was really tough. 1-2 was fine.

Toptack · 26/04/2014 09:14

I definitely found going from 1 to 2 much, much easier than going from 0 to 1. DC2 had a much more straightforward birth and has been an easier baby than DC1 ever was. I have been more relaxed and have not had to deal with the whole "where the heck has my life just gone" culture shock that I had first time round. It must be different for everyone, of course, but it has certainly been easier (and more fun) for me than I expected!

Gowaygoway · 26/04/2014 09:15

Depends on the age gap. 3 years here and it's absolute chaos. I am hating it but holding on to the fact that it won't be forever. Good luck.

Original poster

PickledSprout · 26/04/2014 09:21

A mixed response!

I used to be a nanny so felt a bit more prepared for DD1 than some of my friends who had very little experience with babies when they had their first. Was still a big life change obviously!

I think I am starting to stress about just how much a sibling is going to effect DD1 and how I look after her. God is there any aspect of parenting that doesn't come with a dose of guilt?!

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Original poster

PickledSprout · 26/04/2014 09:23

Gowaygoway oh joy. Exactly 3 year gap. Almost to the day!

OP posts:

ilovepowerhoop · 26/04/2014 09:28

mine was a 3 year gap and it was fine and easier than going from 0-1 (said so earlier in the thread)

Tangoandcreditcards · 26/04/2014 09:29

I've only (just) got one, but I'm one of 5 (in 9 years) and my mum used to say:

1 is more work than your mother could ever tell you
2 more than doubles it
3 and up it all gets easier

Rockchick1984 · 26/04/2014 09:29

3 year gap here - DD is only 8 weeks but it's been fine in all honesty, far easier than I was expecting. DD goes in the sling, me and DS get on with normal life

BearPear · 26/04/2014 09:37

Number 1 son was very hard work, demanded constant attention, didn't sleep through until 18m old. Number 2 child, DD, born when DS was 23m, was a breeze in comparison. A contented baby, slept really well.

I expect if it had been reversed and we'd had DS second it would have wiped us out having been lulled into a false sense of security with "perfect" baby DD!! Friends of ours had their challenging baby second and were totally exhausted!

Love them both equally and dearly, obviously - even through the anguish & sleep-deprived years!

mummyandmidwife · 26/04/2014 09:40

I have 2 dd (2 and 4) I personally found 0-1 more difficult. Financially it was more difficult with 2 dc but I found I was more layed back and I enjoy things better as ive got more confident with already having dd1.

onestepbeyond · 26/04/2014 09:41

Dd1 is 3 , dd2 is 12wks. I found that mentally it's easier but physically it's much harder i.e. can't sleep when baby sleeps etc!!

PartyConfused · 26/04/2014 09:43

I think it depends on the baby tbh.
Dd1 was a really happy baby who had read the books! I try not to gloat .
Dd2 has been totally different. Forget about her very tough start (29 weeker) she has had horrendous reflux and huge issues with weight gain. It has been a really really difficult first year.

But I know parents who have had it the other way around iyswim.
Things are much easier now. It was definitely worth it

longtallsally2 · 26/04/2014 09:46

1-2 was much easier for me. I knew what to expect, ds1 was 3 so a real help passing nappies etc when baby weed all over me etc, ds1 was muuuuch happier now he had a little brother at home, and ds2 benefitted from the routine of following big brother around. No more sitting at home on a rainy day for 14 hours, wondering what to do. Ds1 would have to go to nursery or a party and we would have to take/collect him. I also felt so much healthier than first time around - v difficult first birth, so battered for weeks afterwards. Much easier second birth - felt on a high afterwards. Fitting in sleep is harder as onestep says, so early nights were the order for me - maybe off at 8pm, to keep up the sleep quota

jamaisjedors · 26/04/2014 09:48

2 year gap here and I found 1-2 much easier than 0-1.

There's always someone around to entertain the baby, and they just fit in with whatever you are doing with the toddler.

Can you tell I'm not that great with babies?

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