3yr old- I've messed up having lo in 2 nurseys ��. Insight & wisdom please.

[jessiepie]

My very sensitive lb has been in nursery A 3xwkly since age of 1. Now at 3yrs 11 months he has dropped a day at nursery A to go to nursery B which is the feeder nursery for infant school, I thought this would help with friendships for school in September. This has been since Christmas.

The decision to introduce slowly was due to having our newest baby this Christmas & not wanting to overwhelm him with too much change at once.

Cue melt down at nursery B whenever he is died off. He 'settles' once I've left, but constantly tries to disappear into The Quiet Corner when not being actively engaged in a task-staff have barracked it off for his benefit.

He has good long standing friendships in nursery A,non of whom will be going up to school with him. The children are all pre school age, there is more space.

Nursery B has children age 2-4 in same room & tidy up time is manic in the extreme!!

Problem-I think I need to drop one nursery & do 3 days in one place to creating more consistency.

Am I setting a precedence for not persevering if taken from nursery B?
He is happy at nursery A, but will leave soon for school in September, I feel terrible slicing him from somewhere he is happy to somewhere he is struggling with...

But he won't be going there in September, he'll be going to reception.

September is a very long time away from a developmental perspective.

I'd put him back where he's happy and perhaps consider a football/music/swim group type thing once a week if you can for him to meet some prospective peers.

We moved DS to preschool nursery last sept at 3yo and while he's v happy there, the friendships he's made are all fleeting, with a new bf every week.

Don't overthink it would be my advice. He's not happy in nursery B. So nursery A wins.

Keep him where he is happy - reception is a new start anyway - that would mean two big changes.

He will be better placed to start school if he is feeling confident and happy generally rather than insecure.

Let him stay at nursery a - which must feel like home for him - if you move him to nursery b surely he will be really unhappy? I can't see how that will help him settle when he starts reception - he will have had too many changes

Also agree September is not soon from the perspective of a 3 year old

I did this with my DS but by adding an extra day at the new nursery linked to the school. He never really settled (he was ok when there but hated me leaving him) and didn't make any close friends. Once he started school he v quickly settled and had no issues.

If I were you I would switch to just sending him to where he is happiest. I still feel bad now even though I thought I was doing the best thing at the time.

Thank you for your responses, they're really helpful. I was concerned I was being an overly protective mother by pulling him out of nursery B, I feel reassured now.

I tried two nurseries with my daughter and she didn't take to it at all, so I stopped it after a few weeks. I felt it was more important that she felt secure and happy in the present (only the now exists for a young child). He will be ok going into reception :-)

Keep him in nursery A. My DDs went straight from their nursery into Reception without a murmur. They understand the difference between nursery and 'big school'.