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Original poster

How old was your baby when you put them to sleep in their own room?

138 replies

lusciouslynda · 12/08/2006 00:15

My DS id 14 weeks and sleeping so well that I am thinking about putting him to sleep in his own room. DH thinks its too soon.
Didn't put his sister in her own room till 8 months but she was still wanting fed very early in the morning.
What did/would you do?

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AlexMum · 14/08/2006 18:01

I'm with the earlier rather than later people. I'm a light sleeper and can't even bear the sound of a watch ticking at night so my DS slept in a crib in our room for 5 weeks before he had to go into his own room. I'd had about 2 hours sleep a night since he was born and I just couldn't cope any more.

Having said that he was less than 10 feet from me, his door and ours were wide open and I could still hear him the instant he woke but with that little bit of distance I was able to filter out the snorting and snuffling that went on and my sleep increased to about 5 hours a night!

He did very occasionally sleep in our bed, normally when I was bf lying down and we'd both conk out during/after but these were very rare occasions because I was constantly petrified that DH would roll over and squash DS. In fact, this fear was the biggest detractor for the 3 of us sharing a bed. I had night terrors for months about DH rolling over and squashing DS to the point that I would have to get up, remove all the bed covers and turn the light on to convince myself that the wasn't lying dead in our bed.

I'm with the moderation camp. If sharing a room or co-sleeping works for you then,fine; it just wasn't for us.

pamirka · 14/08/2006 18:19

DS is still with us at 12 weeks and just about still in her moses basket. If the cotbed that she'll need to go into soon doesn't fit into our room, she'll move to the spare room. Otherwise we're quite happy for her to stay with us - she sleeps well and it's easier for me to feed at night (DH sleeps through anything, lucky him!). The sex issue... well, we wait till she's asleep!

meadow6 · 14/08/2006 18:20

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BrummieMomInMerthyr · 14/08/2006 18:26

my ds was about 13wks when he moved out! a cot wouldn't fit next to the bed but tbh me and dh much prefer it and i think ds does to, he sleeps up to 9hrs now (14wks old) and likes to stretch out! We've got a BT digital monitor and it's fab, even got a talk button so can speak to ds without getting out of bed to soothe him!!

Els66 · 14/08/2006 19:25

oops sorry - I'm new here and I've asked a question earlier instead of supplying advice at this point....

katesa · 14/08/2006 19:32

i don't think thats a problem although to be honest I'm fairly new myself As far as early waking goes, my ds1 went through a phase of waking at the crack of dawn and i moved his bedtime later which eventually worked. Other advice I was given which worked was to give him more to eat before bed.

FrannyandZooey · 14/08/2006 20:48

Els it's fine to ask a question on here, however you'll probably get more help and more responses if you start your own thread - go to the top of the page where it says "start your own thread" or something. More people will notice your question then.

schneebly · 14/08/2006 20:52

DS1 was about 2 years old and DS2 was about a year old when we moved him in with his brother. I quite like having them near me and they still come in for a cuddle in the mornings.

Quannoi · 14/08/2006 21:06

erm... 18.5 months and counting...

I'd like to say that we tried and failed, but I'm just not ready to not have him right next to me during the night.

I know - I need to get therapy for whatever my issue is or my ds will be in my room when he's married!

Mirage · 14/08/2006 21:21

6 months with dd1,but 4 months with dd2.DD2 was a lighter sleeper than dd1 & we were all waking each other up constantly.DD2 went in her own room until she was 7 months & then went in with dd1.It works really well for us.We can hear them talking to each other in the mornings & dd1 sings her younger sister to sleep some nights.

ruty · 14/08/2006 22:57

that is interesting katesa - and good to know it was not too traumatic for your ds to sleep on the floor when ds2 came along - that is one of our concerns should we have another, as the bed would be too cramped with 4!

katesa · 14/08/2006 23:26

we did make sure that the move to the floor happened 3+months before arrival of ds2 so that there could be no connection. DS1 was given a "rocket bed" for christmas (snuggle sack with spaceship design) and we fuelled excitement as much as we could. He did come into bed with us a few times soon after the arrival of ds2 (prob 3x a week for 2 weeks) and then I had to go to hospital again so it took a while for things to settle down but no longer than a month or so and baby never disturbed him.

Piffle · 14/08/2006 23:28

ds 6 yrs (co slept)
dd 6 mths

MumofIsaac · 15/08/2006 09:29

DS was 3.5 months I think. We moved him in his own room when he started sleeping all the way through (I still gave him his dream feed for a little while). We slept really well after that and me and DH had some privacy!! We still put the moniter next to me in bed but he rarely wakes up. Glad we won't have an emotional battle moving him when he's older as Lilymolly says.

sophiewd · 15/08/2006 10:41

Our daughter is still with us at nearly 7 months,but we run a B&B so better for guests although she sleeps preety much for 12 hours a night. Will be going in her room during week when we get a few days of no bookings

oliveoil · 15/08/2006 10:45

dd1 - 6 months
dd2 - about 5 months but can still be found in our bed a couple of times a week grrrrrrrrrrrr (will be 2 this month)

riab · 15/08/2006 12:16

3 weeks, best thing we did as we ALL slept better afterwards.

The cot death advice didn't worry me in the end as I read alot about it and realistically the biggest risk factor is smoking and overheating. Cotdeath can occur even if baby is in the same rom as you - I heard that the theory is that if they are in the room with you you instinctivly 'hear' if they stop breathing due to your amazing motherly instincts! This means you can get to them 1 minute faster than if they are in their own room. Personally I think that is bollacks!

DS has no issues about his own room and his own cot as he has been used to sleeping in moses basket inside his cot form birth and then his nursery from 3 weeks. If you leave it too late then baby gets a bit of a shock when you do force the move.

sorkycake · 15/08/2006 12:25

I totally agree F&Z, it drives me nuts and makes me a little prone to ranting...sorry everyone.
I do feel strongly about the advice given to parents, esp 1st time mothers because you are generally so reliant on the professionals for reassurance etc. The fact of the matter is that it is not sufficiently evidence-based to suggest it as guidance for SIDS imo.
I have co-slept with my eldest which was fine, she slept in between me and DH on top of our quilt and wrapped in her own blankets, for bf'ing purposes. My son however refused point blank to sleep with us and was in his own room (gf style) within 1 week (bf). It is 'horses for courses' as they say. With this baby I haven't decided yet, will probably wait and see what the baby wants to do tbh.
The advice thing just narks me in general really, I mean if you're going to release blanket advice on one study why not release the same recommendation for breastfeeding which one study in N.Zealand found to significantly lower the occurence of SIDS. They won't though, because it's too controversial! See what I mean, it's double standards imho.

riab · 15/08/2006 13:58

Oh don't get me started on the advice re cot death - all it does in my opinion is scare the living daylights out of mums and dads.

My BF always puts her 8mo baby to sleep on his tummy and I wish I'd done the same with DS as he had a really strong moro reflex and we spent ages swaddling and wedging to keep him on his back!

Its like all 'scare' sotires the inicidence of SIDS (once you rule out smoking) is less than 0.01%, so why not worry about the things you CAN do something about?

fennel · 15/08/2006 14:08

11 months, 5.5 months and 12 months.

loved sleeping with dd1 and dd3 who were great sleepers. it was much harder with restless dd2.

Sexonlegs · 15/08/2006 14:51

DD was 3 weeks I think. We all kep waking each other up and no-one was benefitting from her being in our room. Slept with the door open and her door open, and could hear her immediately.

HarpsichordCarrier · 15/08/2006 14:58

the things is though, sorkycake, the advice given out by FSID (in its totality) has coincided with a very significant drop in the numbers of SIDS over the past ten / fifteen years. And, if notwithstanding that the research may not be completely comprehensive in this area, I think it is no bad thing for parents to be aware of significant/large findings so that they can make their own choices. even if sharing a room for six months led to a marginal reduction in risk (and the figures seem to show a more significant trend than that) then it is important that parents have that information in order to make up their own minds. Sids is still by for the biggest cause of death for young babies.
(sorry, I am not expressing myself very clearly: chronic sleep deprivation but I lost someone very close to me this way before the current advice was available, so it is close to my heart.)

Overrun · 15/08/2006 15:07

I don't want to pile in, but a friend of mine lost her 8 week old baby while dh was sleeping with him, it was on the sofa, but I think they will always wonder what part that played.
Certainly don't think that any one is wrong to sleep in different bedrooms, or wrong to co sleep. I chose to share bedroom but not the bed on this basis

HarpsichordCarrier · 15/08/2006 15:53

overrun - co sleeping on a sofa is a high risk factor and not recommended in the FSID guidance.

HarpsichordCarrier · 15/08/2006 15:54

overrun - co sleeping on a sofa is a high risk factor and not recommended in the FSID guidance.

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