How old was your baby when you put them to sleep in their own room?

[lusciouslynda]

My DS id 14 weeks and sleeping so well that I am thinking about putting him to sleep in his own room. DH thinks its too soon.
Didn't put his sister in her own room till 8 months but she was still wanting fed very early in the morning.
What did/would you do?

From day 1 she was in her own room. We just didn't have any room for even a small moses basket in our bedroom. She had a monitor with an under mattress pad. I found I didn't need the monitor as I woke evry time she even murmured.

Our girl was in her own room from the start. We have a monitor that we rarely use as it turns out that I wake up as soon as she starts making noises even when she is down the hall. The few times she has slept in the same room as us I've had terrible nights sleep as she is very noisy sleeper.

I'm breastfeeding and when she wants to be fed in the middle of the night I feed her in the chair in her room.

Both of mine were in their own rooms from day 1. I just got up in the middle of the night and fed them in their rooms. With dd we had the baby monitor on until she was about 18 months. When ds came along the baby monitor broke after a week, we didn't bother to replace it!

My point is that it all has to be retrospective studies where there could be a link, no definite evidence, but it doesn't stop people from changing advice just in case.
The evidence referenced to the advice by FSID (2 pieces of research) is a little misleading in respect of co-sleeping. The first piece pertains to co-sleeping in the same bed, where reasons for death involved strangulation in the covers or parent rolling on their children and the study was on children under 2years.
The only piece of relevant research was a cesdi sudi study by Fleming etal, who when looking at causative factors found that co-sleeping reduced the risk of SIDS by half in their study (one study though), however I would just like to include this from an article by Fleming himself:

"These recommendations take into account the known risk factors and if implemented will significantly reduce the risk of SIDS. It is important to note that in the CESDI study, although around 8 percent of infants shared a bed with nonsmoking parents, only six infants (2 percent) died in bed with a nonsmoking parent.
If bedsharing with nonsmoking parents were hazardous-if, for example, it increased the risk of SIDS by 50 percent-we would have expected at least 40 such deaths; and even if it were neither a risk nor protective, we might have expected 26 such deaths. The very small number of deaths in bed with nonsmoking parents in this study suggests that bedsharing with nonsmoking parents is not a significant risk factor for SIDS.
Rather than issuing broad statements, not based upon good evidence, to suggest that parents should not bedshare with their babies, I suggest that giving them accurate information, based upon careful studies of healthy babies as well as babies who have died, will allow parents to make safe and appropriate choices."

It is here I take your point about co-sleeping in other cultures F&Z, surely the best advice to have given would be to have your baby sleep in bed with you as long as you don't smoke or drink? As this is actually what is suggested by the study.
Yes there are lots of things we don't understand how they work, but blanket advice IMO is just wrong esp when it relates to children and parenting. There are more questions to be answered than answers given it seems.
The studies make no mention of synchronised breathing or reminding a baby to breath.

My DD outgrew the Moses basket at about 8 weeks and like many Mums have already said here, we're not blessed with a big enough bedroom to fit the cot so had no choice but to put her in her own room. Has slept through the night ever since and never has a problem going to sleep in the cot whatever time of the day. I still have the monitor on all night but often turn the volume off if the shuffling wakes me. I hear her anyway as there's only a wall between us. Tiny house!!!

my DS was 4 months old although me or my DH would sleep in there with him so at least one of us was getting some sleep.plus i felt safer.
he is now nearly 7months sleeps on his own no problem i stopped using the monitor as you can hear the tinest of noises so you end up rushing in,and can desturb them even more, was very scarey at first, but dont worry you will hear them.

My DD was 15.5 wks when she went in her own room. Up to that point she had been in a bedside cot right next to me in bed (easy for breastfeeds). She took a few nights to settle but then settled OK - still woke for feed around 5 am ish though so I used to feed her in rocking chair in her room. My DH needed his sleep (has to get so many hrs sleep each night for his job) and it was getting hard with DD in our room - she often used to wake if he got up early for work or when we were going to bed.

Tbh I often wondered why they say 6 mths for the SIDS thing. Even my HV said that if a baby is going to stop breathing you wouldn't know if you were asleep and they were in a cot next to your bed (guess it's different if they are in your bed but a) I never liked that idea as was worried I'd suffocate her (and DH smokes the v odd cigarette) b) she never wanted to be in our bed?).

We also have a movement and sound monitor which has been brilliant - still use it now and she is 15 mths.

Sorky I think the synchronised breathing theory is just a theory at the moment - I would recommend reading either Three in a Bed or Our Babies Ourselves for more information on this. It made a lot of sense to me.

Yes I agree the best advice would be to co-sleep unless you drink and smoke - but there is such stigma attached to co-sleeping in this country, that I think a 'lite' version of the findings has been attempted instead. Similar to the suggestion to eat 5 portions of fruit and vegetables a day, when the amount we should be eating is actually 9. The message gets watered down for fear of frightening people off.

Something similar seems to be going on with the co-sleeping safety advice - rather than say "co-sleeping is safe as long as you xyz" we are told "co-sleeping is not safe" . We are treated like idiots with a lot of the health advice given out by the government IMO.

My DS has never slept in our bed, never seemed to settle which i suppose isnt a bad thing, but it would be nice to have a cuddle in the bed, but nows likes his own cot and room. {we are never happy are we}

DS1 was in his own room about eight weeks - when he outgrew the moses basket. I tried him in bed with us, but he preferred his cot. He's v independent, will play for ages by himself, actively seeks out his own space, etc - I figure it's just his personality.

I did sleep on the single bed in his room and he fed at night till he was about 10mo when DH went to sleep in with him But sleep was all pretty much academic with DS1 until he was about 19mo because he had horrible temperatures every couple of weeks (teething-related) and was often up for a couple of hours in the night while he shivered and burned up at the same time

DS2 is either in a cot in our room or in bed with me and DH sleeps in the single in with DS1 (we only have two bedrooms). DS2 starts the night in the cot, but prefers to be beside me at night - he feeds, we both sleep - I think he didn't wake between 12.30 and 7.15 last night, but I couldn't swear to it.

I couldn't have co-slept with DS1 because he wasn't interested - he also didn't like being in a sling, but DS2 gets really excited when he sees the ring sling and on Friday slept for two hours in it as we travelled to Kent on the train. He's very different from his brother - I think you need to take your child's personality into account when deciding about where they sleep, but personally I couldn't have been away from either of them at night before six months - they're just too little.

And both of them made mad growling chuckling noises and DS2 in particular was rarely quiet either asleep or awake with chuntering noises - I learnt to sleep through the noises and only wake up if my norks were required. I found they get much quieter (fewer random mad sounds) once they're past about 3mo anyway.

slightly unrelated but how old were your babies when you got them in a routine? my daughter is 2 weeks and wakes at 4am for a feed. is there any way of getting her out of this or is it a case of wait and see? any tips would be appreciated. shes also in her own room in a moses basket in a cot.

Will probably only reiterate what some others have said, but here goes.
All my children were in our rooms till exactly 6 months. I just couldn't have moved them any earlier because of SIDS advice, in the unlikely event of anything happening I could not have forgiven myself.
DTs slept together in a cot bed and ds1 started in a moses basket and moved to a cot in our room before moving to his own room. Never had any problems with them not settling.
Did find it hard to sleep sometimes , ds1 snored and coughed a lot, and I would lie awake listening to him, but would have probably done that with a monitor.
As I understand it they are supposed to share your room so that your breathing regulates theirs if they get into any difficulty, so it's not so much you hearing them but the other way round

dd was 11 months, til that her cot was about a foot from the bed and she came in with us for most of the night. ds is only 2 weeks so still in crib in our room and bed with me for most of the night.

I did the six months thing as well - couldn't not have done (though not criticizing anyone else for different choices). We had a little crib next to the bed, and tbh he was a tiny, hungry baby so I found it much easier for breast feeding as well. I always used the nursery a lot, though: for changing DS, for playing with him and so on, so that when we did move him it was to a very familiar place. I even used to put his clothes on while he was lying in the cot bed, so he felt used to that space as well.

I put dd in her own room at 4 days old (as soon as I got out of hosiptal)

She's always been fab sleeper and she's 4 now (apart from the obvoious phases)

emmatav - if your baby sleeps all night until 4 am then I'd be very happy with that! My DD did not sleep thru til 10 mths (extreme but not unheard of) so at two weeks your baby is doing very, very well!!

With regard to routine - we started proper bedtime routine at 5 wks with DD. Everyone is different though - depends on if you get hung up on routines and following certain 'guru's books -don't go there on here though!!!!!

ds two next month and still sleeps in bed with us. Didn't get any sleep at all until we put him in bed with us at 10 weeks. We have all slept like a dream ever since.

3 weeks, DD didn't sleep well in moses basket - so put her in cot in own room, mainly cos the cot wouldn't fit in our room. And hey presto everyone slept! And slept even better when bought gro-bags 3 weeks later!

Ds1 until he was 6 weeks and ds2 until he was 2 weeks - with both babies we found we just couldn't sleep when they were in our room - particularly ds2 as he's got a funny nose and snores like a train, which is why he got booted out at 2 weeks...

As with everything it's a balance. Of course we knew about the sleeping in the same room until 6 months information, but in the end it was more important that we got a few hours uninterrupted sleep so we could look after them properly.

So I think in the end it's about whenever it's right for you, in terms of your physical, mental and emotional well-being.

emmatav

Iwas always worried about routines but you get so much conflicting well meaning advice it gets to confusing.
Its no way advice but heres what i did.

DS would no way go to sleep from 7pm till about12.30 from the time he was born till i finally had enough at about3 months just used to cry and cry, so one night decided on the bath then bed routine ,DS used to fall asleep on the changing station so would just transfer him to the cot, this worked well for about2 months then started changing his habits{like they do when you get the hang of something} now its bath milk bed, does still cry but if its just moaning i leave him for a little while but not if his crying i go in and reasure him.
but dont worry your DD is only 2 weeks old myDS differs from night to night, dont start anything till your ready it can take some time, DS is now nearly 7 months.

How do you encourage an otherwise excellent sleeper (1 yr old, 7-5.30am) to sleep longer than 5.30? Once awake, he yabbers and shouts until progressively agitated, until I've brought him into the bed where he'll usually sleep on til 7.

Complicated by fact he now shares a room with older sibling (5) about to start school; will they eventually get used to each other's disturbances at night and sleep through the other's noise? Do we do anything to help them?
Thanks

Ds was 7 mths
DD1 was 8 mths
DD2 was 12 months (we had to brake por bedside table, which is attached to the wardrobe, in order to fit the cot next to the bed ! But she fed 2 hrly for months so I couldn't take the thought of getting out of bed so much. It was so easy just to lift her out, bf her and put her back in the cot.)
I think this may be ONE (of many) of DHs reasons for not having another.

Whatever suits you and baby. If mine had slept better then they would have moved out sooner but probably closer to 6 months to follow the cot death advice.

Oops, meant to say our not por.

ds1 moved out of our room last week - he is 3 1/2. It was a sad moment for dh and I. He slept in our bed until he was nearly 3 and was only moved on to a mattress on the floor so that ds2 could sleep in the bed. DS1 was only moved to his own room because ds2 likes to go to sleep at 7pm (amazing!) which meant that ds2 wasn't able to have a quality bedtime with stories etc. Personally, I agree with f&z that the accurate advice would be to co-sleep unless smoking or drinking etc but that for some reason the govt/press/alleged experts assume we need protecting. I would go one step further and venture to suggest that it would be difficult to find a case where a healthy, full-term baby died specifically of SIDS whilst co-sleeping. The "research" which alleges this practice is dangerous ignores cause of death and mistakenly refers to cases of suffocation or strangulation which are due to parents ignoring well-known guidelines on co-sleeping.

I put ds in his own room from around 4 weeks. I found it useful with him next to the bed because I had c section and didn't want to get out of bed to feed.
I think it helped ds to sleep through the night as well as he didn't have us creeping in to bed trying not to wake him! (he slept through from 6 weeks).