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How old was your baby when you put them to sleep in their own room?

138 replies

lusciouslynda · 12/08/2006 00:15

My DS id 14 weeks and sleeping so well that I am thinking about putting him to sleep in his own room. DH thinks its too soon.
Didn't put his sister in her own room till 8 months but she was still wanting fed very early in the morning.
What did/would you do?

OP posts:
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Chully · 12/08/2006 22:13

DS was 5 weeks, and that was moving him to a different floor of the house where his room is! And frankly, I wish we'd moved him sooner - we all slept far better after he moved (we have an excellent monitor, though.)

Elf1981 · 12/08/2006 22:15

tbh we found that dd's sleep improved dramatically. It was not bad in our room but not great - but I think she got a beter night sleep in her own room not being disturbed by me and DH

Imafairy · 12/08/2006 22:20

Sweetkitty - the first night DS1 slept in his own room (at about 10 days), DH and I spent the entire night awake, watching and listening to the monitor (and his room is about 2 feet away from ours!!). He is now almost 3, and DS2 is 3 months, and whenever I wake during the night I have to get up and check on them both - and the only reason DS1 doesn't have the monitor anymore is because we needed it for DS2. Have told DH that both boys need to be monitored till they're at least 18!
I guess I just wanted to assure you (defensive, moi? ) that even if we put our DCs into their own room early, we still love them!

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UCM · 13/08/2006 10:11

This is one of those things like all parenting, that it's down to the individual. I think this thread shows that either way, it's ok. I put DS in his own room at about 4 weeks. We did get a much better sleep.

GJ · 13/08/2006 11:12

My first child went into his own bed when he was 3yrs old and now my second child is 20months old and we probably wont put her in her bed till she is 3 as well.Its personal choice when to put your kids in their own bed there is no hard and fast rule as to when you should just enjoy your children while they are young cause they grow up so quickly. If your child is still feeding then just put him in his own bed when you feel it is the right time cause every child is different.

Highlander · 13/08/2006 11:21

2 weeks. DH and DS snoring drove me nuts. One of them had to go

lilackaty · 13/08/2006 11:45

Those whose children stay with them til 3, do they have a bedroom that they don't sleep in as well? i'm just asking cos my ds is 2 and he plays in his bedroom lots.
dd was 9 months and it would have been much sooner but we had nowhere for her to sleep
ds was about 2 months i think, i really don't remember

aviatrix · 13/08/2006 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tassis · 13/08/2006 14:06

ds was about 5 days

lusciouslynda · 13/08/2006 21:25

Thanks for all your responses!
There really isn't a "right" way is there?
I can't believe I want to evict my boy - who I am madly in love with - but I do miss spending some time with a book before I go to sleep, drying my hair in the morning, getting knickers from a drawer etc without worrying about waking him up. I feel a bit selfish but he is very content so I don't think the change would bother him much.
When my DD was smaller - she is now 3 - we tried co sleeping for about 15 minutes. All 3 of us were so relieved when she went back to her cot. She still doesn't like coming in with us.

All of you who co-sleep, how do you manage a sex life??? Just curious!

All of you who have good monitors, which ones do you recommend? I live in an area with lots of young families and I pick up about 4 different babies on mine, I need to get a new one if he goes in his own room.

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FrannyandZooey · 13/08/2006 22:27

LL, we used to either spend time together in other parts of the house, or just enjoy each other's company very quietly in bed - it has never caused us any problems.

Frizbe · 13/08/2006 22:29

5 Mths here

Ponka · 13/08/2006 22:47

Lynda, We have a Tomy Digital Walkabout. I like it a lot. Never had any problems with interference but there aren't that many babies down my road. It has 2 different bands to choose from, too.

Take a look at the Mumsnet "Find the best...." section. There is a section for monitor reviews.

sansouci · 13/08/2006 22:52

2 weeks. Dh & I couldn't sleep for listening to dd's every breath; our hearts stopping at every little groan or sigh. I even asked the paed about those mats for babies to sleep on that sound an alarm if they should stop breathing. He smiled & shook his head at me. "All parents feel as you do. Your daughter is perfectly healthy & there's no reason to think that she might stop breathing. do yourselves a favour & get some sleep!" He was right.

mears · 13/08/2006 22:55

I kept all my babies in our room till about 1 year. The current guidance is to keep babies in parebnts rooms until 6 months to reduce the risk of cotdeath. I still read books, dried hair in my room etc. because I think it is best if they are used to noise.

here is info re room sharing

lusciouslynda · 13/08/2006 23:00

Mears, I agree with you about getting them used to noise. However, I can't figure out why ds sleeps through noise of his sister rampaging through the house during the day but if I turn the page he stirs.

OP posts:
lizziemun · 13/08/2006 23:07

at about 8weeks as she started to move the moses basket and no room in ours for a cot.

Did not sleep through the night untill she was about 20mths

sorkycake · 13/08/2006 23:14

6 months is rubbish and leads to a whole load of over protection and panic. Why 6 months exactly, if a child stops breathing will you be able to prevent death if the child is in the same room as opposed to listening on a monitor?
I agree with the majority of the SIDS advice such as overheating, smoking, co-sleeping etc because there is plenty of evidence to suggest these factors have implications, but a child sleeping in your room for 6 months is not proven as far as I can see. Please feel free to correct me but do link to the exact research if you can please.

Deyo · 13/08/2006 23:44

My LO was sleeping in her own room when she was 3 months. She was getting to large for her moses basket and I couldn't sleep because I was listening to every breath.
So I was able to function the next day she was placed in her own room. We used a light for a further 3 months, just so I could check on her if I got up to use the bathroom. She happily sleeps in her own room without a night light. Having her favourite teddy and a rountine of brush teeth and book helpes her to settle.

HarpsichordCarrier · 14/08/2006 00:03

goodness me sorkycake, that's pretty strong.
I don't have the time now to find the original research but I have some summarised findings here. The CESDI studies showed that (from an epidemiological perspective) room sharing was protective. 39% of babies who survived room shared compared with 25% of the babies who died. There was another European study that showed similar results (44.7% as against 28.2%). These survival rates are significant in terms of reducing risk. Just because we haven't identified the exact reasons why room sharing should be protective doesn't mean the research is rubbish - it is a significant trend that babies sharing a room have better survival rates. The European study shows that 52% of sudden infant deaths might have been prevented if the baby room sharing. One theory suggests that small babies somehow "forget" to breathe sometimes and having another person in the room might "remind" the baby to breathe. And six months is the most vulnerable period.

eggybreadandbeans · 14/08/2006 00:49

We tried co-sleeping/bedside sleeping in cot very early on with ds, but it was awful. We all slept abysmally. I wanted to bf for as long as poss, except my boobs are the size of fried eggs (and were even while bf-ing), so I couldn't just sleepily flop a boob out in the night; I had to sit up, hoik up ds into position etc, which was pretty disturbing for all of us. And ds made such a racket and fidgeted! And a 4'6" bed isn't big enough for two, let alone three! So ds went into his own room - which was through a door off our room, which we kept wide open - at just two weeks . And I'd pop through to him for feeds in a more practical chair.

Ds is now 26 months, and since we moved house in May, we've co-slept! (All back to front .) It's evolved from me laying on sofa cushions beside ds, to having a whole double bed next to his bed. I still sleep in with him, and love it (as does he), although dp sleeps in our new six-foot bed in our room, which I've barely touched!

Dp and I are fine about not sleeping together, as we're not the snuggle-up-all-night type; we overheat and wiggle about too much. So we figured, if it's sleep we're after, being in separate rooms for a while is fine. What works quite well about me sleeping in with ds, in his room (we're lucky to have the space), is that mine and dp's bedroom is still our room and we can get intimate in there (and elsewhere! ) earlier in the evening, as we have always done.

If we have another child, I will aim to co-sleep from the start - and most probably in a bed in their eventual bedroom again. I could fidget and faff about to get comfortable for feeds without waking dp. And like ds, little one would never have to move out as such, into an unfamiliar space; you just gradually withdraw from their room when they're ready. It's just beginning to happen with ds.

Wish I'd cracked co-sleeping from the start with ds, but I figure - like many posters say - that there is no right or wrong way; you do whatever works for you at the time.

FrannyandZooey · 14/08/2006 07:58

Sorkycake, as I posted on another thread recently, in cultures where co-sleeping is the norm, there is simply no term for 'cot death' because it is unknown as a phenomenon. It is strongly suggested that co-sleeping, or at least sleeping in the same room, protects against SIDS. An infant sleeping near parents appears to synchronise his or her breathing in some way to the adults nearby - it looks like the infant respiratory system is not fully mature at birth and needs regulating for a while. Presence of another person in the bed / room acts as an effective regulator.

lovelybird · 14/08/2006 08:20

From 12 weeks as he was too big for the moses basket by then, we were wedging him in at night and he couldn't move his arms or legs! We couldn't get the cot into our room either.
He was fine and slept through the night from 12 weeks once he was in his own room, and we slept better as well as he was so noisy.

noseymum · 14/08/2006 08:42

Think it was after week as I couldn't sleep properly with him in our room. We had a monitor, so it wasn't as if there was any worry that I wouldn't hear him. Plus I'm a light sleeper anyway. He was in his moses basket which we put in his cotbed.

cosmicdancer · 14/08/2006 08:55

12 weeks here as well - DD also slept through the night once she was in her own room.

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