Toilet training

[lilymolly]

Hi
Have friend with 4 year old whose little boy is still pooing pants, and refuses to use toilet, he is starting school in Sept and she has tried everything. from sticker charts and rewards to punishments. I suspect his behaviour is attention seeking, but not sure as dd is only 7 months and have not reached that time yet! Any advice

Hi she has been to hospital, and paed told her there was nothing physically wrong with him, and he would grow out of it, but because his behaviour in other ways, is what you may call naughty and attention seeking, I think this is the problem, but how on earth do you tell your friend this??

my little boy who is 3 is still on laxatives 3 months after he got so constipated he ended up with a blockage and was very poorley.
He goes ok now generally but they have to keep it nice and soft for him in case it hurts and scares him not to poo again.
It could take up to 3 more months as all the nerves got damaged and distorted.
He never had a problem with pooing before this happened he just picked up a bug and was off colour for a few days and ended up constitpated.

Agree, so far have refrained from saying anything, but she often turns to me to back up discipline, and I get frustrated with her, but will shut up to keep her friendship, thanks for advice x

" auntie xx tell him what a naughty boy he has been" "auntie xx will buy you ...... if you poo on toilet etc".... Never physically if that what you meant.
His behaviour is getting me to the point where I do not want to be around him as I am on verge of snapping and saying something that I may regret.

There is a pediatric neurologist, based in Seattle, WA I believe, who has been doing a procedure to relieve incontinence in children. She did an interview on NPR a while back and said many times these kids were thought to have only psychological problems when there actually was a physical component. It might be worth doing a little research just to make sure.

Here's a link to the interview.

appreciate honesty- yes pooing issue is overrided by his behaviour. She does discipline him herself, but looks to me for confidence I think, although I do not think she is authoritative with him. I do not want to be the bad guy and put the child down, but I feel he needs some sort of boundries and discipline as he is becoming a very naughty little boy. This girl is trying for child number 2 and he gets jelous over my dd nver mind a sister of brother, I think this will be too much for him. She has father at home, but has a tendancy to go to pub, and his discipling methods are different to hers. i.e smaking bum. He wraps her around his little finger with toilet issue, he was at my house last week when he started to make the actions that he was going to poo his pants, so we put him on toilet and he complained his legs where hurting, which they where not, so she took him off toilet and let it go. I thought that he was using this as an excuse and he got own way (again) as she took him off toilet only for him to soil pants...

My 5+ year old is still refusing to use the toilet, he can go all day and just wears a pull up when he gets home from school. have tried everything but have read this is one area you just cant control and will do it in their own time although i'm thinking will resort to drastic measures in the big school holidays, ie not supply pull ups. he's a bright but very strong willed boy who's development is normal in every other area. he'll stand or sit on the toilet but says nothing happens and so it goes on.