Three Year Gap - the good, the bad and the ugly

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

If this pg is successful the baby will arrive just before dds third birthday.

Please can you share your experiences of a three year gap?

There will also be two months of two of them til dd starts pre school - im wary she may hate going if the baby gets to stay with me

I have a 20 month gap. It gets easier each month they both get older. I will aim for a three year gap for the third. Twenty month gap was a little close, bc first born still a bit young to understand and wanted to be held all the time during pregnancy which was hard on back towards the end. She loves her baby brother and has been only kind towards him and loving (no hitting) all smiles, gives him toys, brings his bottle, blanket etc. but she does get clingy to me. Congrats on your pregnancy :-)

3.4 gap for me, it works fine for us. DS was already established at pre-school and I really appreciated that I got time with DD three times a week. Things were made easier as DS was toilet trained, could dress himself. He could get himself a drink or snack, put the telly on. He was very useful for fetching things. The only issue I've had is with Lego and small toys. Once DD was moving she stuffed anything in reach in her mouth. We ended up having to section of part of our sitting room with a huge baby gate. That's now DS land and where toys with small parts stay. It does look slightly ridiculous but it's not forever!

We have a 3.7 gap and I'd echo everything Chutes says.

I have a 2.7 gap then a 2.8 gap. I think it works well. Long enough not to have the other still in nappies and to overly dependent but short enough for them to be close in age.
I'd have gone for the 3 yr gap myself but I fell PG right away with 2 & 3. When I had #2, DC1 was a May baby and didn't start nursery until he was 3.4. Man that was a long 9 months I can tell you.

When DC3 came along DD was 2.8 and I sent her to a local playgroup 2 mornings. I felt guilty that she would persieve this as me getting rid of her for this new baby but she was so excited to go. Think she was bored of me sitting on my bum breastfeeding! It's good for them to get a bit of stimulation and it's only a few hours a day.

I think your gap is spot on.

DS was exactly 3 and 1 month when DD was born and it's been brilliant - he's quite emotionally immature though so I think needed to be slightly older and more independant. They're now 5&2 and just awesome together...3 is the perfect age to really "get" that there's a baby who isn't a threat to you and he was helpful and independant enough to turn the tv on entertain himself if I was mid feed or whatever

Congrats!!

Ooh thanks for the positive responses! I will probably go back to work after nine months, seven of which DD will be at pre-school for mon-fri 12.30-3.30 so it gives a bit of time in the middle of the day for me and dc2 to spend alone.

Both DH and I have siblings where we have a 3 year age gap and we chose a 3 year gap for our two DD. I think it's the perfect gap. Older child out of nappies, (hopefully) sleeping through and at pre-school so you get a few hours for just you and DC2. Only problem is that if you SAHM then a total of 7 years until youngest starts school is quite a lot of time out so I made sure I worked part-time (apart from 18 months when DD2 was born and DD1 hadn't yet started school so 2 lots of childcare would have been unaffordable). Both children now in school (DD2 doing school hours in the nursery class) I've got a new 3-day a week job and couldn't be happier. I loved the baby stage and I think having that 3 year gap allowed me to really enjoy that time with both of them - friends who have a 2 year or less gap seemed so frazzled they could hardly enjoy those early years.

I have a younger brother with this gap. We liked it. They will probably have very different friends but play together when no one is around.

We distanced ourselves through senior school but we are close now.