(regular poster but using assumed name,just in case)
am in major quandry and would value views. will try to post fairly bland facts as I find this very upsetting.
basically, DD1 (aged 4) went with DH and DD2 (16mths) to party at friends house last week.I came later after work.
DD1 and friends DS (aged5) often play together and we have been on holiday for few days together previously. They have always seemed to get on well.
at the party friend's DS had number of schoolmates there too. DD1 only girl (apart from DD2 who was with me or DH all the time) at party.
all the kids were playing together upstairs as they often do at this friends (and indeed most of my friends houses) , two boys including friends DS running around with no clothes on when I arrived.
to cut long story short we got home and DD1 told us her bottom was sore when she weed. after some gentle questioning it emerged that friend's DS had pulled her trousers and pants down and poked her vagina with his finger repeatedly. She was red and a bit sore. She said she had asked him to stop and he didn't and (what confused her more than anything) he wouldn't say sorry afterwards.
we raised with our friends next days and they quizzed their DS who admitted to this in the end. seemingly the other boys were egging him on. friends were completely shocked and very apologetic and have been talking to the boy about it since. I know they will be dealing with this as a very serious matter
we agreed that they should phone and he apologise to DD. This happened and she said it was ok when he said sorry.
Our DD seems fine now and doesn?t seem to have given it another thought. Thank god. She seems absolutely fine physically and it doesn't seem to have had any immediately obvious emotional repercussions.
In ordinary circumstances I would just leave it and not see the boy for a while, then closely supervise ever moment of any contact they have.
The awful thing is we are due to go abroad with this family at the end of this week and stay in VERY close quarters with them for a week .
They have said they will cancel if we want them to, we can still go without financial (or other) repercussion. Indeed their immediate reaction was that they shouldn't come. After initially thinking there was NO WAY we wanted them to come (although we didn't tell them this) we said to them that it might be ok if we all watched the kids really carefully at all times.
However now I am not sure. I will feel very awkward if have to tell them not to come and feel as though might be overreacting. But also I don't want to underreact. Just want what is best for DD...(and I suppose if I am honest don't want loads of stress on our holiday)
Can the combined wisdom of mumsnet help?