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Parenting

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Original poster

Checking on 3 year olds before you go to bed.

150 replies

Bedsheets4knickers · 20/01/2014 20:57

In the wake of the tragic case of Mikaeel Kular. Before he was found so many people were saying. "Why did the mother not check on him before she went to bed"
My son is 3 I don't check on him before I go to bed.
Should I be doing so???
It's really knocked me that so many people were so shocked and I've never given it a second thought.
Out daughter is still on a baby monitor she's 1.
I feel like I've neglected him.
Do you all check on your kids before you go to bed.??
What age should I be doing this until??

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CocktailQueen · 21/01/2014 09:29

Blu - no, it's not a safety check as such (unless you're checking to see if dc are breathing etc) but then why would you need to? When is the last time a child was snatched from his house while sleeping, with his parents present, doors locked, windows shut etc? But the OP was just asking 'should she check on her dc before bed'?

Absolutely agree that we're all hoping for an unbroken night's sleep :)

theborrower · 21/01/2014 10:55

No, not always, but then we live in a flat and still use the monitor to hear her when we're in another room. I do check when it's a cold night/ she's been unsettled/ ill etc though.

Quenelle · 21/01/2014 11:24

DH and I each check on DS 4.6 before going to bed. I check he's covered up and give him lots of goodnight kisses and cuddle his lovely head. Much as I adore him when he's awake, he is absolutely irresistible when he's fast asleep.

So no, I don't think people should check. I just can't help myself, and nor can DH.

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bouncysmiley · 21/01/2014 11:31

Yes, borh me and dh do, then have an awww moment! Dd is still on the monitor too, aged 2, very useful for telling her to go back to sleep from downstairs!

Lozcat86 · 21/01/2014 11:32

I or my DH check on my DSS and they are 14 and 9... DD is in with us as she's only 3 months
In some ways it's to check they are ok but also to make sure they not staying up on mine craft (9 year old) or on YouTube (14 year old)

TravelinColour · 21/01/2014 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hels71 · 21/01/2014 11:46

Both me and Dh check on DD (6) before we go to bed.....and in the night if we get up for the loo....making sure she is covered up and ok....

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 21/01/2014 11:53

Yes always, and if I nip upstairs to the loo I have a peek to see if he's alright. I just check he's asleep, not too hot etc. he's so cute when he's sleeping.

vvviola · 21/01/2014 12:08

Yep, still check 2yo and 6yo before going to bed, mainly for duvet/half out of bed reasons (and for a long time, the entertainment value of seeing what bizarre position DD1 had managed to twist herself into).

But like a PP we also had a situation of putting a seemingly perfectly healthy child to bed, and on checking at midnight, she had a temperature of 41 and was very ill. I was amazed at how sick she got so quickly (it was flu - during the swine flu time, when there were many cases near us. Doc said there "was no point in figuring out whether it's swine flu or regular unless she gets more seriously ill"). I realise that could happen while I was asleep (although with DD2 waking me frequently during the night, I usually stick my head in a few times), but it does give me peace of mind that I've checked them both.

whatsagoodusername · 21/01/2014 12:27

I check on mine because they kick their blankets off.

But mainly because they drive me mad during the day and they are cute and lovely when they are asleep!

matana · 21/01/2014 14:43

I check on my ds 2 or 3 times before I go to bed - mostly because I just love looking at him all cosy, content, cute and quiet!

matana · 21/01/2014 15:00

I think with the Kular case it was more because the whole picture didn't seem quite right.

DS is extremely industrious and bright - works out how things work and practices his skills as much as possible on everyday items, much to our frustration at times. But for him to let himself out of his room during the night, let himself through the stairgate at the top of the stairs, find his way downstairs, locate the front door keys, find the front door lock, get the keys into the lock and find the finger strength to turn it and open the door - all in the dark and unheard - would be beyond even his abilities.

Either the little boy had escaped from the house before everyone had gone to bed or he had sneaked out once everyone had gone to bed - both of which I would suggest are improbable. Or something else happened.

MiaowTheCat · 21/01/2014 19:40

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dogindisguise · 21/01/2014 20:00

I sometimes check on mine and sometimes not, mostly to see he's under the covers. We have a monitor for him too.

lljkk · 21/01/2014 20:01

They constantly bother me until we fall asleep in a heap of exhaustion so the whole checking routine not really part of the picture.

kilmuir · 21/01/2014 20:01

Part of night time routine. My oldest is 15 and still check her!

lljkk · 21/01/2014 20:02

ps: I used to sneak out of the most mornings around 5am when I was age 2-3. Drove my parents crazy. That part i found pretty believable in the Kular story.

ZenNudist · 21/01/2014 20:03

Ds is 3. I check a few times as he can have kicked his duvet off or landed on the floor in the time between me checking as I go up and brushing teeth etc.

I also check for signs of life as well!

Sparklysilversequins · 21/01/2014 20:08

Mine are 7 and 10. I check them both and gently touch their hair. Not sure why I touch their hair but it just feels like something I need to do. I will probably only stop when they are old enough to go to bed later than me.

Misty9 · 21/01/2014 21:30

I don't check on 2.4yo ds as he's such a light sleeper and nearly always wakes when we go to bed anyway. If he doesn't wake we certainly don't risk disturbing him! I've read threads like this before and felt bad that most people check, but the night wakings are enough to deal with, let alone adding an evening one in! To be fair, I can hear him breathing as his door must be left open or else he trashes the room

Feenie · 21/01/2014 21:35

Ds is 8 and only started sleeping through the night 3 weeks ago! (Yes you read that right). So no way have we been checking on him, for fear of waking him up - we've been desperate for a good night's sleep for years!

BlingBubbles · 21/01/2014 21:38

Yes, both DH and I check on our DD before we go to bed, I guess it's just habit. I stick my head in the room to make sure all is ok and then go to bed, DH does the same.

fuckwittery · 21/01/2014 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worley · 21/01/2014 21:42

I can't sleep if I haven't checked in DS1... Who Is now15!! We now go to bed at same time so I turn his light off for him.
Ds2 still co sleeping.. But when he did manage a few nights in his bed I still couldn't not check in on him.

My cousin also can't go to bed without checking where as her dh thinks we're both weird for checking in on them. Maybe it's just what our parents did to us..

sweetkitty · 21/01/2014 21:44

I check on all four (9 to 3) every night sort their duvets out kiss them goodnight and tell them I love them.

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